Mothers,

They're suppose to be your superhero,
Your best friend whom you can speak with at any hour,
Your biggest advocate,
-
The woman who does all your laundry
Now, you may have made me smell like Gain and Lavender dryer sheets
but you made me feel like my own worst enemy
especially when you slipped out words of rotten dimension
glaring at me through the eyes of disappointment and shame

regardless of this monstrosity that you call a "parenting skill"

I have been forced to listen to you ***** and moan about how the only reason you haven't ******* killed yourself yet it because you are a
--GODLY CATHOLIC WOMEN WHO HASN'T BEEN TO CHURCH SINCE 1989--
you say there is a light at the end of the tunnel

I say you are full of ****

when you preach about how your childhood was drab and terrible because your mother called you fat and a zero so I guess there really isn't a reason for me to be mad at all for you doing the same ******* thing to me as she did to you.

She ripped you of everything fair in the godforsaken  world so I'm guessing it's only fair to return the favor to your FAT 16 years old daughter who has grown into a perennial of self loathing and late night smoke breaks

you took family road trips and created day time guilt trips and late night auto collisions.

You remember don't you?
When you thought I'd keep my ******* mouth shut when you set off on a rant about my father, the man you loved for 22 years and through tears and clenched teeth we ate heavily illuminated sheet metal and with every heaving breath I took all I could swallow was your *******.

All I ever wanted was for you to be happy,
I tried so hard to put everyone first and to be a good ******* person

As a daughter, who has rarely felt anything less than your cold shoulder has wanted nothing more than your love and affection, all I had asked for was your nurturing attention and all I got was an angry mother yelling at me asking why I even came home last night through a door that you told me to close.

Swollen eyes told me that your words burn hotter than my Pall Malls as they both sit in the pit of my chest

My hunger pangs remind me that my mother doesn't think I'm beautiful in my size 13 jeans but would look much, much better in a size 8

I have always been so afraid to make you sad but now I realize that you won't ever be happy

you will never be content with me nor yourself

nothing I do will ever be good enough for your high set standards and all I was doing was looking into an empty pit of false hope that one day you'd be a good mother

and I sit, and I think about all the **** you put me through

and with each drag of my cigarette I grow to not give a **** what you think, but one day i hope you can find peace with at least yourself
because when you need someone to sympathize over your petty life

I WILL NOT BE THERE

You call it selfish,

I call it returning the ******* favor.

I'm jealous of the moon
because she knows all of your 5 am secrets
and your sheets who get to touch every part of you as you fall asleep,
I keep a close eye on this empty pillow
waiting for your weight to keep it warm,

but the sun he is most important of all.
When your half asleep, groggy and painfully unaware of how beautiful you look,
He kisses your lips with light

I have a distaste for star light,
how it gets to shine on the innocence of your smile
As I have to keep you locked away in the darkness of our not-so mutual love.
I may have been just another ******* your schedule but you were my first priority

  I hated that you were the only person who could make me feel beautiful
Whenever you caressed my skin it was as if none of my flaws existed
But as my flaws vanished so did you

The tears tumbled down my face, a grin came across yours

The land of the free and home of the brave,
Nothing but a pathetic attempt at humane priority.
America is a sad attempt of Patriotism and Rationality
Our Government is a fatuous ill-minded joke.
Mr. President you are the political icon that sums up this idiotic unsystematic society.
In all serious this country is a disgrace to the pledge of allegiance "Under God, Indivisible, With Liberty and Justice for All."
Reality is that isn't how it is at all,
If it was Liberty and Justice for all things would be different, not ignorant
I do not stand for the pledge thinking the same as my peers..

I pledge my allegiance to same *** couple getting married without hesitation of the system raining down on them, it's like humans are afraid of there own anatomy who cares if a man loves another man they're happy

I pledge my allegiance to Faith and Spirituality, there should be no fear with God, there should be no hate in Allah, there should be no judgement to any.

To ****** with teeth that shine, lips that curl a welcome mat spread across the slim grin they portray, Mr. President should have had you put away a long time ago.
You are not welcome here..

It's not even just the President, its us as a society terrorizing one another for committing acts that we are supposed to be able to do freely.

I am disappointed in our Country,
There are places around the world that have half of we have
Yet still seeming to know what the concept of working together means
Better than we do, and we have the audacity to call ourselves the
Home of the brave, and the land of the free.

You silence my thoughts
In a way not even I can do
Within our silence I do not find
Doubt, confusion or anxiety
Instead I find joy, comfort and love
I've only known you for a little while
Yet the way your hand embraces mine
Captures my soul entirely.
Butterflies tickle my stomach
When you smile at me
My eyes fill with wonder
When you say you're glad you met me
Any fears I have about falling for you
You've washed away with kindness
Not only in words but in your actions
Something I've believed I'd never deserve
You and I made love that night
The night my whole world changed
Ive never felt something so passionate
Never the touch of a sweet man
Now I'm not so scared to fall for you
Because from no matter how high I jump
I know in my heart you will catch me

Leap~

I didn't at first understand why I was put here.
But then I met you,
And everything became clearer
My stomach captured a million butterflies
My mind Instantly shot through the sky
My worries faded
And I thought to myself,
"Maybe this Is love.."

For that moment In time
It became clear to me
That even though I'm broken and unstable
I can be loved too.

As night slowly creeps upon me,
Nothing Is left but for the voices that lurk within me
My soul fades quickly
My body lays cold and weary
Blood trickling from every Inch of my body

Screaming Is all I can hear
From the demons that once overruled me
They run through the night
Craving another soul, another mind but most of,
Another body to possess

Pushed to the curb, I find myself hopelessly waiting,
Waiting for something or someone to come save me,
But sadly I'm Invisible to the Human Eye.
I am no longer considered a Human
But simply a cold lost animal,
Grieving for an answer.

They say you must love yourself before you love others.
Yet, I always find myself caring more about the people I push away,
I let the pain drown me In my own tears, and happiness Is jsut a word.
Do you not see me reaching out to you?
Can you tell me, who am I ?