The warm ache of *****
Touches my stomach with soft
Hands and all i can think
Is why
and the tickle in my throat
From nicotine's playful kiss
Makes me sicker than before
Woozy and exhausted
I cry to myself
And wonder why you're far
Gone from me
Loneliness caresses my face
With hot tears
While I panic
And want to die
In the place that doesn't feel like home

Waves crashing, upon my heart,
All I've come to know, was ripped apart,
My clean arms, have bleeding scars,
My thoughts, have been butchered,
Emotions never ending, bottled up inside,
The screams you never hear, the ones I always hide,
In this lonesome room, yet another,
Suicide.

Nothing like demons
to keep me up at night.
I'm so stressed,
where is the light?
My brain wishes to shut down
but my eyes put up a fight.

They're not allowed to close.
I'm forced to watch it all.

Nothing like work
that gives me anxiety.
With my mouth wide open
I scream so silently.
I rise from my bed
and I try to pace quietly.

They're not allowed to close.
I'm forced to watch it all.

Nothing like thoughts
that make me talk to myself.
Always out loud
as I pace by my shelf.
Questioning existence and loneliness,
too much trouble for oneself.

They're not allowed to close.
I'm forced to watch it all.

I know when I look in a mirror
when the world wakes in the morning.
I'll see deep, purple and black bags,
I know that's a warning.
And everyone will question,
but they'll never see me mourning.

They're not allowed to close.
I'm forced to watch it all.

As the first light
of the upcoming day,
graces me with it's presence.
I find my way
over to the now golden window.
With one deep sigh, i'll be okay.

They're not allowed to close.
I want to see it all.

I would rather sleep with a breathing sun
than with his blinking minions.