If only you knew the heights to which I would let myself float.
Each time the thought of you crossed my mind, it quickly became a recurring daydream;
Supplying me with my fix of euphoric, fantastic escape from this otherwise insipid conscious loop.
You wouldn't blame me if you knew how I would reach those very heights before I had you;
The fierce clambering on my ice cold wings made of stone and lead,
and the almost instant plummet that always followed
clamoring on and inside my head.
Yet somehow you'd managed to get me up there all on your own;
almost as though your breath pumped novacaine into my every cell, while your smile melted down gravity's grip on each and every one of my bones.
... and there I go again, claiming you as my own.
I suppose I always did let you make me feel so much less alone.
If only you knew my excitement each time your name would flash up on my phone;
Now it just hurts.
Even more so because I know how and why,
and God knows the mere thought of you still gets me so high.
But... what if you knew?
It would be mighty presumptuous of me to even consider that you'd think of me as I do you.
Truth is, I really never let myself slip
as you can see how ridiculously hard I always seem to take that plunge.
So you see,
Since it seems I am fated to crash and burn either way,
still
I'd rather fall where I know I might find you
someday....
"and Karma said: you will fall in love with someone who does not love you, for not loving someone who did"