Such an oddity:
not to feel anything at all.
One cannot describe the emptiness
that makes you fall into yourself,
desperately trying to fill a gap
that is designed for hollowness.
Should my heart stop,
I wouldn't know,
for it already it
half dead
and half invisible.

... when you have to
have a dictionary to
read poetry...

... and you are still
not understanding!

Keep your hands where I can see them-
Not at the small of my back where your fingertips could roll down my spine and ignite the open fuses in my heart.

Keep your words in your throat-
Swallow them down the same way I swallowed the lump in my throat when I realized I was a trophy on your shelf, a prize that collected dust.

Keep your heart within your ribcage-
Don't offer it out in slivers of affection, in segmented allocations of desire and lust. Keep your ******* heart contained if you can't even keep it whole.

Keep to yourself, it's all I really ask-
I used to ask the opposite of you, though I came to see that you had a padlock on your heart I couldn't figure the combination to.

Please keep far away from me; don't check in and don't text, don't call and don't bother because I can't answer calls from the past nor can I keep my heart to myself when you can't keep to yourself.

No matter the pain
Nor where you've been
No matter the depth
You're swimming in sin

No matter how far
You've drifted away
Wherever you are
You still can be saved

No matter your past
No matter the present
No matter the time
That you are left with

No matter the chains
That weigh you down
Jesus makes the way clear
The lost can be found

No matter your deeds
No matter disasters
No matter all that
Cause what really matters

Is what you now do
With what you now have
A God before you
That holds out His hand

And says no matter the pain
Nor where you've been
No matter the depth
You're swimming in sin

No matter how far
You've drifted away
Wherever you are
You still can be saved

Everyone around me is falling into a pit of depression
Self hate, self concept, self image, destroyed
And I am desperately struggling to pull them out
But when I reach for one hand,
It means I'm letting go of the other