I could have loved you,
I don't think you knew
That I could have loved you
It hurts
Sometimes thinking of you
Because now I know
That these thoughts
And feelings
Were mine to bear
Alone.
What could I have done?
To open your eyes
To see me there
What could I have said
To draw your attention and keep it there
What was I
supposed to do?
I guess we'll never know
But next lifetime
When the wind blows North
and not South
And the Autumn leaves fall in our favor
You will
We will.

And she waited
For the seasons to change
Under a noir tree
With gnarled roots
Branches bent
Towards the ground
And every day
She kissed the sun
And burned her tongue
Praying her love
Would bring Spring time again

I've made a choice
Like I have before
But with a clear mind
And conscience
To love again
To forgive again
To mend wounded scars
And take up arms
To finish what I've started
May God bless our steps
And guard my heart
I pray we've both made this choice

I wonder if the next woman in your life will start off how we did
Your arms wrapped around me tight
Stolen kisses in the dark even while half asleep
That would mean the love we had
Had dissolved
And it's residue
Were the two cold bodies on opposite sides of beds
You won't admit the transformation
But I remember everything
100 something memories
Passed over and by
Flattened with harsh words
Until they became unrecognizable
But I remember everything
I remember sharing
Shows, memories, pain
No hesitation
No reservation
I remember safety
We were each others outlets
Our safe houses
Our trials were as a team
I remember learning
Exploring each other
The boundaries of our love and
Sensuality
I remember coasting
Not questioning the future we'd have
Memories that hadn't happened
Easily discussed and laughed about
Maybe our letters were clues
Of our true feelings
Your letters
Short lived, too shallow to last past
What was given
And my letters
Too long, and full of fear
I'm sorry you don't remember
Maybe if you saw the way youd looked at me underneath strobe lights that night
The darkness would bring memories too
Though
I'm glad you don't remember
It would be so much harder if you did
To accept this fate
I must leave heaven behind
And continue my walk through Earth
But like the others I'll carry your memory
Sometimes like stones against the wind
Sometimes like wings to give me hope
But I will remember
I'll always remember

You were never a savior
And that is my fault
For once again
Seeing a palm out hand
And placing a sword inside
But now I've learned
This lesson I've had to have
Forced in to me
I needed to be burned
To have the scars etched into my skin
Before I could finally say
No more
That my peace will not be taken for granted
That my love will not be taken in vain
I have seen a point so low
I kissed the ground hoping it would love me back enough to swallow me whole
And I've cried
With arms out stretched wondering
Why I was not good enough
For it to take me
But light prevailed
And now I wait
Heartbroken but headstrong
Recharging my own wings
So that I might lift myself
So that I might save myself
Again

What you gave to the world is no more
It lays, dispersed into the universe
It's gravity weighing down the parts of me
I keep hidden the darkest
Do you know what you took from me?
The warmth and life
I took years to build
Gifted from God
But thrown and coveted
By men just like you
Wings of plastic that when exposed to the sun
Melted down, a shiny casket for a once beating heart
And the stories
From eons ago that seemed to echo mine
That turned out to be fictional instead of biblical
You laid your tools down at my axis
And crossed easily into the atmosphere
For you knew that my oxygen was freely given and easy to take
And in its place you left poetry and promises of rotation
And walked away
Back to the place where you all come from
A place you swore to me
You'd never return.