& despite every good thing that had happened to him that day, he was still the loneliest person in the whole world, and he knew for a fact that money couldn't buy happiness, but money could buy cigarettes, which if he smoked them enough, it would eventually taste like happiness or something close to that.

ou wear three layers of clothing because you say that you’re always cold, yet you are the warmest person that I have ever known. I could make a home in your arms, wow, you are like the morning sky. Your mind is so colorful and vibrant. Not one part of you is dull. I took about one hundred pictures of the sun this morning, and I tried to compare it to your eyes, but , your eyes are more beautiful than the sun could ever be. And I am still trying to figure out how one person could ever be more beautiful than the sunset. You could do anything and still be beautiful, you could make me bleed, and I still would adore you. But you haven’t yet. I am waiting for you to kick my teeth in because I have made a shelter in your arms and I am waiting for it to burn down because everything that keeps me safe, eventually disappears. But, you are still smiling at me and I haven’t seen heaven yet, and I don’t believe in God, but, I think if heaven was real, it would look exactly like your smile and it would sound exactly like your voice.

I hate sleeping.
i see you in my dreams
and i miss you even more.
you sleep to forget
I sleep to feel pain
the world is full of bright lights
and dark skies
i can feel all of them around me
when i hear your voice in my sleep
you press yourself up against my wall,
it devours you.
you slip into my bedroom.
i can feel your eyes on me,
as you slip in between the sheets,
and wrap bandages around me.
You try to heal the wounds you caused me,
but when you say you love me,
i want to scream.
my wounds will heal but I will not.
by the time  this is said,
i will fall asleep again.
i feel death when you lean in close
i feel love when you stay away
i see bright lights and dark skies around you
but blood stained showers and hospital lights around me.
baby,
this is not your fault but mine.
but please,
don't come around next time.
I'll sleep alone
Alone
Alone
again
for the love of God
stay out of my head.

Trying to learn to talk
In a way that you can hear

don't feel sorry for me.
I am a competent,
satisfied human being.

be sorry for the others
who
fidget
complain

who
constantly
rearrange their
lives
like
furniture.

juggling mates
and
attitudes

their
confusion is
constant

and it will
touch
whoever they
deal with.

beware of them:
one of their
key words is
"love."

and beware those who
only take
instructions from their
God

for they have
failed completely to live their own
lives.

don't feel sorry for me
because I am alone

for even
at the most terrible
moments
humor
is my
companion.

I am a dog walking
backwards

I am a broken
banjo

I am a telephone wire
strung up in
Toledo, Ohio

I am a man
eating a meal
this night
in the month of
September.

put your sympathy
aside.
they say
water held up
Christ:
to come
through
you better be
nearly as
lucky.

little dark girl with
kind eyes
when it comes time to
use the knife
I won't flinch and
i won't blame
you,
as I drive along the shore alone
as the palms wave,
the ugly heavy palms,
as the living does not arrive
as the dead do not leave,
i won't blame you,
instead
i will remember the kisses
our lips raw with love
and how you gave me
everything you had
and how I
offered you what was left of
me,
and I will remember your small room
the feel of you
the light in the window
your records
your books
our morning coffee
our noons our nights
our bodies spilled together
sleeping
the tiny flowing currents
immediate and forever
your leg my leg
your arm my arm
your smile and the warmth
of you
who made me laugh
again.
little dark girl with kind eyes
you have no
knife. the knife is
mine and i won't use it
yet.

i am stuck.
i gave you air to fill your lungs,
yet, you still chose to go to those who pollute them.
i gave you changing colors,
shades of yellow, red, orange and green.
yet, you love those who are only black and white.
i gave you a solid foundation,
made a pact to always be there.
yet, you went to crumbling concrete.
you made me feel like i was rotting
when i was still firmly planted on the ground,
and as parts of me began to fall around you,
you stood by me,
but looked into her eyes instead.