Gold spine
Terror climbs
Deep inside
Warning signs
Upside out
Inside down
Laugh loud
Love now
Heart beats
Struggle streets
Perfect teeth
Pretty neat
Run away
Lazy May
Rainy play
All day
Cold night
Sore sight
Bitter fright
Winded kite
Dead sigh
Cold climb
Green vine
Gold spine

I can't sleep.
So I flip through my waking dream.
Making it better makes it worse.
I see the hurt in the joy
But it isn't real
And my mind is projecting the world
I could never have
Onto the back of my eyes.
Is it beautiful or is it decaying?
Is this fiction or future wishing?
Who knows?
Who cares?

I brought the mountain to the north
You brought my world to a quiet halt
You are breaking my fourth
I stare through the wall

This is my defeat
Shall I fall, a broken, empty shell
The sword lies bloodied, unsheathed.
You fell from  heaven only to bring me hell

We're moving further
Further away from perpetual motion
Drifting towards the bottom corners
Of these uncharted churning oceans

Set my soul alight
I will follow you down
Heart rending slight
Slow comprehension  of fury and sound

You were never quiet
I just couldn't seem to ascertain
How you screamed through the night
As I dragged my mountain, dreading the night you sang

Sanguine devotion to the one great commotion,
Quarantined joy, in this helpless slow motion
Disaster. We won't know our hearts until we tear ourselves apart.
Alabaster skin torn asunder, to reveal broadcasted surrender to the dark

I tied my noose to twenty-seven balloons I'd filled with my own hopes and hot air.
I let them carry me until I was no longer there because I forgot what it meant to be real and gave up on ever being healed.

I opened my eyes to stare at the ceiling.
Stained with water and the paint peeling in strips and fragments like the edges of my resistance. If life is all a dream well I can't help but wonder who's dreaming.

Knock on my head and hear the reverb hollow.
It echoes throughout like my thundering heart beat but where's my brain beat? Ignorance is bliss but no one said bliss tastes sweet.

The water in my lungs is deep enough to drown but still shallow enough to hear every note I've got left in my xylophone ribs. I guess this is what you meant when you asked me to forgive.

But I ******* all my anger into twenty-seven little strings and blew kisses to the wind. It's goodbye that's gonna take me home again. So if you see me floating know that I am real but I couldn't bring myself to heal.

Convince yourself of your certainties
But certainly they are uncertain
For the truth is hidden behind time's immovable curtain.