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 Apr 2023 Snizzlefish
darly
I went to the love of my life's wedding today

I listened to her say the words that i would never be able to say,
he was the object of the love that i craved.
she looked at him with the same affectionate eyes that i gazed,
he was the one hearing: "for the rest of my days".


i went to the love of my life's wedding today
I remember the way
the alcohol
lubricated our words to each other
and she told me those three
poisonous words:
"I love you"
Except she added
my name to the end
to make sure I knew
how important it was.
"You're the only
person I've said that to,"
She told me that night
as we parted ways

The next day she told
me that it didn't count
and that she was being
dramatic
and I remained in place
amongst those
who function better
as shadows,
withering under her
light,
hoping to hear the
meaningless words
again.
 Feb 2017 Snizzlefish
mike dm
if you ever meet
any little differences out there,
then run: find
a yellow lukewarm,
well-lit square
to take care
of you.

all those
who loved me
i've ran from

if you ever come across
unusual syntactical arrangements
in your head,
**** 'em off w good ol'
reverent dread.

all those
who love me
i run from

if you ever stumble upon
weird words strung together
while on the bus,
cut em off quick w
well-worn scripts.

all those
who will love me
i will run

if you ever cross paths
w themes juxtaposed irrationally
in the fridge,
eat the hummus on the door ---
not the severed finger in the crisper drawer,
signaling for you to come closer;
closer still..

all those
who have love
run run ruuuuuun
i make love with Death every night.

during the day, we go our separate
ways, but she's always on my mind.
after work, we meet up.
same routine. dinner, occasionally.
but always drinks.

she downs a bottle
of Cabernet
with no help
from me.
the red compliments
her dress and flushes
her cheeks with pink.
i just take coffee. black.

afterwards, she needs
a lift home. i'm her dd.
the city lights blur
indigo and violet,
blossoming like flowers
in the pavement
of the night sky.

we arrive. she invites
me to come inside,
looks me in the eye,
says, "i love you."

i believe her,
even though i know
it's a lie.

the minutes hang thick.
while she sobers up,
we roll dice
and tell stories.

then, breathless and slick,
it begins in the kitchen.
gasps come in spasms, pulsing
in tandem with our obsessive—
compulsive—desire.
we continue beneath the duvet.
i sample the flesh between her legs.
she tastes like pomegranate
and bruised starfruit. her sweat
is second-hand smoke. my brain buzzes
from Marlboro Lite cigarettes.

afterwards, we lay over the sheets
as the ceiling fan rotates eternally
overhead, humming a tune we both hear
in our dreams but cannot comprehend.  
her head rests on my chest,
she loses herself in the gaps
between each heartbeat.

wordless, we drift.

when i wake, she's always gone.
the space in bed beside me
has grown cool. jealously,
i wish Death had taken me with her.
 Jan 2017 Snizzlefish
Anomaly
Its weird getting new shoes , i either like them immediately or it takes time

our friendship is like converse , it took time
but i loved how easily it could be washed , even after a muddy climb
i mean slowly i realized that with every wash the color faded a bit
i didnt mind the change in color , becuase its a good shoe
then holes and rips developed and maybe my feet grew
I got tired of the stitches and glue
its not that i dont like you
its just its ******* me too

I had an interesting trip
To realize friendship is endship
Part 2 of 2
I cried out to God for answers
While waiting for his reply
I forgot to do some living
'Ere I fell down to die.

Beheld I no great majesty
In wonders he had wrought
But pitied self for circumstance
That time and life had brought

Forbid that I would ever look
Beyond my meager station
And witness those at deeper lows
and show appreciation.

Hence, the twilight of my life
Has come, and shadow's fallen.
At last, across the great divide
I hear His voice is callin'.

Our answers come in all due time
And so little time is given,
So while you wait you might as well
Go do a little living.
because when I'm with her I can do anything and when she's gone I'm pretty much useless.

She's like *******

because she's even better with a little ****.

She's like *******

because well, she's white. (But that *** is pure Colombian)

She's like *******

because even her scent is enough to make me succeed at all business.

She's like *******

because I've only hit it a few times but play like I'm an expert on it.

She's like *******

because anyone with a Scarface poster in their bedroom has probably not actually had HER in it.

She's like *******

because her head game could make my nose bleed if I'm not careful.

She's like *******

because I haven't slept right since I've been without her.

She's like *******

because I'd give
every dollar I have
for another taste.
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