Its been one of those days
Your Mother warned you about.
Not frustrating
Not annoying
Just
Long
and
An exercise for
For patience.
Like an old boss who
Wanted everything done
12 hours ago
But cheap.
The job was interesting,
And sharing with
"The morning Lady"
Had its problems and its fun.
Trying to decipher instructions
From the four letter words had its moments
But was still the best of the jobs on a long
CV
Pruned to "perfection"
As we all did in those days.
I don't look back often,
And then  with a fondness
That even I  did not appreciate those
Good times until past.
Now even if not so far away
I smile at the memories of working with the majority
Of those men.
Artisans but skilled to  the "nth" degree that
I really envied them Their opportunity to perform
The jobs they did with evident enjoyment,
And with an ease
That didn't need frowns,
And
The irregular turning off of the alarm, to get them through
Their need to turn over and pull bedclothes around them
Like a windproof collar,
Protecting them from the frosts of even a
Summers day.
On this Summers days' end
I'm so glad
The frosts seem warmer, and the drizzle
Softer
Unlike those even
Older and sharper days I seem to remember
Am I the only one who looks back fondly to the future?

Your name burns
at the base of my stomach,
it tastes like flames
when I say it
but I continue to swallow,
big gulps
that drown out the ringing in my ears

I wonder what it would have felt like
to kiss your lips,
taste the fire in your heart
blood red lust
like innocence dressed in her mother’s lipstick
to trace the outline of your freckles
on soft uncharted skin,
I wonder what it would have felt like
to be your cartographer
to sail the high seas in your iris
and find sand in between my toes
after every visit

I keep imagining the things I would say
if we had met at a different time
I could have started by throwing matches
into your puddles,
and noticing how you smile like sunlight
glinting of the ocean

you are across the world
exploring,
mapping your own skin
and sailing with a crew called options,
they beckon your name
and make you forget that our hands ever brushed,
that we ever exchanged smiles
like two preschoolers
making engagement rings out of fruit loops,
you’re standing tall and brave
shrouded in the peace of letting go
while, I,
wait at the port
for you to return
knowing at the base of my stomach
that you will pass me by on your way home.
“land, **!” means refusing to
acknowledge my tedious “hello”
you will step on my apologies
like the creaky old boards of a ship,
and I will become the tide
lapping at your bare feet

I had the bad news today
You had gone from
Us all
Your wife and family
Hardest hit
And friends, so many friends
Left to mourn
The " You " we all remembered
The joy in yourself at the times
You were fuelled by the black stuff
And the Irish you loved so much
When I saw your paper face And read the last words
My shock was paramount
You were immortal weren't you?
I thought so at least
There to show
Me
The sunny side of life
And you said one day I was your extra daughter
And I guess you could have been that age
But to me
You were that brother that never was
And now you're with
The God
We all have to answer to
Just remember John
Somewhere the best really could be yet to come.

I wish... ?
I wish could lie to you
And pretend I don't care
Lieing is easy ?
Don't be daft
It's harder than  quantum physics
Not that I'd  know
Caring is so **** hard when I think about it
And so **** easy in the soft darkness of night
As I wish I could stop wishing
And really convince this "you"
That this is about all of us
We all at times can feel old and sad and
Very very untalented
And what are talents anyway
But some currency I don't have
I send my thoughts to
The you
I see so
Little of
In all the senses God gave us

I didn't know
When I arrived on this earth
What the rules were
And I found they seemed
Unexpectedly to change
Why my God
Didn't you  provide
At least a basic manual
You know
" Me idiot
How does
All this living work"?
There's no one
To blame I feel
But why God
Give me more fear than
I needed
And certainly could deal with
At times
It seems so far
I'm not exactly winning
But at least competing
So...how about it
Lets call a peace
You don't give me more than I can cope with
And I won't expect more of you
Than is reasonable

It's hard to say what grabbed my attention on  
On this platform we perform on
You say you don't perform
Don't kid yourself
We all need to present our
Best side to the camera
It's just we don't always succeed
I give to you
The wishes I give myself
To look in that Mirror
And see ourselves
As we really are

I look at my home
At my furry friends in pictures
Who have shared my life
At different times
In different places
The feisty moggy who lived until twenty years
To annoy and perplex
But most of all to beguile
And my dusky shy little feline girl
Who left too soon with just her place in my heart
My dogs who lived with from youth too old age
And left me together unable to survive without each other
My own years are measured in these pictures
From sadness to smiles
And back again
What new friends of a soft and pet-like persuasion
Will share my hope and sorrows next
For surely the next is in sight.