Sholiver

Sholiver Sep 2019

On my back, it sits with a grin
Tossing and turning what’s within
It takes my heart and gives a pull
Giving me an endless mouthful
My head is spinning ‘round the room
Burying me in my own tomb
Thy breath more rapid than before
I slowly fall and hit ground floor
Again and again, I see it
I think it’s time for my obit
I stay up late dreaming of you
A brick wall I need to breakthrough
My arms are dragging on the ground
The world itself is your playground
Tears begin to fall down my cheek
These dull-white papers are so bleak
The Chromebook light does strain my eyes
It seems as though I’m hypnotized
Look at me I’m really a mess
Welcome to life, kid, this is stress

#school #life #stress #feeling

Sholiver Apr 2019

Broken Glass

I watch as the blood drips slowly
From the palms of my hands
I look at the deep slices and scars
That cover my arms
All because she is like…
Broken Glass
Beautiful to the eye
Shiny and shimmering in the light
But also sharp to the touch
Hidden edges like razors
No matter how hard I try to put her back together
She cuts me and falls apart again

I wish I could have her but she always hurts me in the end

#hurt #alone

Sholiver Apr 2019

Drama

Like dirt under my fingernails
Unclean and filthy
Changing how I feel about myself
And how others think of me
No matter how hard I scrub
No matter how hard I clean
It doesn't matter
Because new dirt always appears
And people will always talk

Why do people like gossip? It has never done anything for anyone, it only hurts and destroys.

#drama #dirt #hurt

Sholiver Apr 2019

Ceiling Fan

The cold, smooth plastic of the switch under my finger tips
Then the deep, droning hum of the ceiling fan
I don't turn it on to cool me down from the wretched summer sun
But to replace the silence that you left in my life
The happiness and contentment that you stole
Cause now I sleep alone, the warmth gone from beside me
The warmth that is replaced with the coolness of the ceiling fan

I'm not sure where this came from, it just hit me. Maybe I'm missing someone.

#cold #alone

Sholiver Apr 2019

My Mask

Know I am not who you perceive
If I told you the truth you would surely leave
I hold back in hopes that you’ll ask
That maybe you’ll unmask
The real and abnormal me
That maybe you will see
Instead of abandoning
And damaging

Know I am not who you perceive
I’m not trying to deceive
I’m hoping that maybe you'll shoulder
This dark, heavy boulder
But you only show me fury
And now you are my last and final jury
I look you in the eye
And with my last breath say goodbye

I don't think people realize how much I want them to see the real me but at the same time how terrified I am of their reaction

#unmasking #help

— The End —