Something felt wrong
I told you no
But you were so strong
I had no choice

I was only five years old
When all this began
How could you be so cold
You were supposed to protect me

Let’s play a game; hide and seek
I was to hide
I wasn’t to speak
You always found me

Hunted me like prey
Ripped off my clothes
As I began to pray
Clenching my eyes

Singing songs in my brain
Keeping my mouth shut
Pretending not to feel any pain
To scared to do anything more

For years you abused me
Until one day you were caught
I was finally free
Or so I thought

The memories of what you’ve done
Haunt me every time darkness replaces the sun

I think this went too far, too fast
Now the time is running out.
Your truth is all mixed up with lies.
My heart is aching, full of doubt.
I thought I saw something in your smile,
Your words were breaking through my wall.
If only I could have known the danger,
crumbling meant a nasty fall.
The ghost of things that never happened
hang around in my weary mind.
You let me down with a final blow,
just wish those words had not been kind.
It's hard to hate someone who shows care
as they stick their knives inside your heart.
You think that I would have known by now
that to fall in love is to fall apart

almost is a sad word
you almost changed the game
you almost changed the world
you almost had true fame

self-medication was all you knew
and you knew that your time was soon
it broke through as your passion grew
cracks in your voice, singing out of tune

a star shopping hellboy, praying to the sky
you were slowly breaking, not even knowing why
popping pills kept you numb
but you never let it make you dumb

lil peep, you were misunderstood
you helped as many as you could
you never in your life glorified drugs
the media portrayed you as a ****

you were caring, you were smart
a tattooed face means nothing
what matters is the heart
and you were always loving

you knew you should’ve reached out
you knew you had friends all around
they loved you for more than just clout
but they can’t help you six feet underground

you are not a lesson to be taught
you are not another druggie
you were a soul that was distraught
not a horror story for junkies

it doesn’t feel like you’re gone yet
it hasn’t settled in
but taking xans was like russian roulette
it was bound to happen

peep, we hope you’re somewhere better
we hope you’re free of pain
you always were so clever
it’s sad you lost the game

As a pansexual/******* myself I take these poems to heart, I may have written these poems, but I'm only passing on the messages. Any hate comments you leave will bounce right off of my rainbow colored sheild. (:





Right in the middle

Stuck in a battle of who to love

not knowing that I had a middle ground to go to

my love of boys strong

my love of girls strong

I couldn’t tell which I wanted in my life more

couldn’t choose

wouldn’t choose

I wasn’t seeing any other options

then I remembered this one

I can love both

because love is love

who cares who you share it with

who cares who you give it to

as long as they give it to

Preacher gone wrong

A christian boy

the young age of sixteen

finds his destiny

he loves boys

now he see’s

goes to his mom

a joy full look on his face

thinking

Wow I finally found my place

he says

hey mom I’m gay

the awful woman

slaps his face tears runnin down her face

come on boy get in the car

she takes him to the preacher

for a treatment in religion

preacher says

boy start runnin straight get your head out of the clouds

tells him that he’s going to hell

that is an example of a preacher gone wrong

if you preach hate at the service

if you can’t accept someone

because they can love the same gender

those holy words you have been singing are poison

your sermons are disrespecting god

we are all gods children

he loves us all

it doesn’t matter

so don’t listen to that preacher gone wrong

I write this poem for my beautiful wife
Who's watched me change like day and night
Complained she hasn't, she's just looked on
As I've opened myself up, though it's taken so long

I hope she can tell how happy I am
As my whole self is out, and I do all that I can
To be a better spouse, more sensitive and kind
Stronger and outgoing, not timid and shy

I knew I was Trans from when I was 10
But hid it inside not understanding it then
No one taught it in school or knew how I felt
I just melted away with this part of me unfelt

But by your side I am free to be who I am
The way God created me, some female some man
At least on the inside thats just how I feel
And to share myself with you is an honor,
A delight and a blessing I'll treasure forever
With all my love.

© Mark (Lj Mark)

The preachers shout out on Sunday morn,
from stages and podiums at the top of their lungs.
God made men to be men, women to be women,
and he never makes any mistakes from heaven.

To be different is a sin, and you must turn away,
ignore your true self and be all that they say.
Dress as they dress, speak as they speak,
stand up like a man, and don't show yourself weak.

But they don't ever say, yet know that they should,
that gender's in the brain, and not in how you look.
And because of that, no mistakes were made,
Men will always be men, and a woman I've always been.

© Lj Mark 2015