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  Dec 2018 Priya Sapra
Kaity
this isn’t going to make sense
cause it’s not supposed to
and if I’m being honest
this isn’t for you
it’s not even for me

I’m stuck
I’m trapped
I’m lost
I’m every other word that describes people who feel at a dead end

I’m typing on a ****** phone
That’s connected to a ****** connection
That could possibly be a metaphor for my life

I’m writing
Because I don’t know what else to do

I’m writing
Cause that’s what they told me to do

But they also told me that what I think isn’t always true
That I’m special and I just don’t see it

But that’s the thing
I don’t see it

And if I don’t see it then why should it matter if anyone else does

And if I’m thinking something why should it matter if it’s true

What matters is that it’s in my head
What matters is that it’s always there

But here I am
Stuck in the same place
Back to square one
No progress made
The same questions, whether true or not

Will I amount to anything?
Do I really help?
Am I really worthwhile?
Do you actually care?

I see these people
When I’m online
They smile and post
They edit and pose

I can’t help but wonder

Do you really smile, or do you just do it to look happy like me?
Do you really feel happy, or are you trying to lie like me?
Do you understand what I feel?

Or is it just me?

I’m not trying to be selfish
I don’t want a lot
I just want to be happy
And I want others to be happy with me
But neither is happening

So instead there’s a poem
That doesn’t even ryhme
That makes no sense
  I’ll try harder
  Dec 2018 Priya Sapra
i bleed poetry
Right person at the wrong time?
But maybe there isn't a wrong time
If it's the right person
Priya Sapra Dec 2018
Today is another empty day
I woke up heavy
Head dizzy, mind lost and feelings non-existant
Why do I have to feel this way
this feeling of nothing and everything
This feeling
It’s not going away
Not getting over this ****
I’m not sad but I’m ******* crying
I’m not happy but I laugh
I have to laugh
We all do
Or else we’re just gonna die
I mean I’m already dying
Dying on the inside
Dying on the outside
Slowly deeply
Dying
  Dec 2018 Priya Sapra
Shamai
Loneliness is the feeling
That, even when there are
Many people around
You still feel
So alone

Like
The world is going on
All around you
And you
Just
Aren’t a part
Of it

Alone
Like you don’t belong
Anywhere
And no matter what happens
You still feel
Like you're
All alone
  Dec 2018 Priya Sapra
muna
Why does it always feel like
no one's listening
when I talk?
I'm never loud enough..
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