On nights when she's away
I don't seem to care
what the world has to say.
I hear everything,
yet I hear nothing.
Crickets chirp, chirp
Faucets drip, drip
I can't seem to stop
thinking of her lips.
The wind ROARS.
The night whispers.
I feel so alone
when I'm not with her.
Frogs croak.
ribbit, ribbit
a horn goes off
honk, honk
down the street.
I want to lay
down with her
and hear the
thump, thump
of her heartbeat.

I miss you.
I'm dying
the slow death
drowning in a sea
of people I don't know
never wanted to know
because there's only
ever been you
who sings to my soul
calling me back
yet never quite
wanting me.
I struggled
through the crowd
to find you
knowing
full well
you don't
want to be found
at least
not by me.  
I feel my
determination
waning away
my mind
pulled under
by unknown voices
my body ******
into an
unfamiliar crowd
I close my
eyes  imagining
your hand
as a Lifeboat
pulling me to you
but you're not here
not really
and I sink slowly
into a loud yet
voiceless crowd

I miss our ***.
So fast
crazy
energetic
lazy
we'd do it
in the
bed, sure.
but also
on the desk
the couch
the dryer
in motion
with paddles
scarves
and all
kinds of
lotions.

But now
you're gone
and I know
you gotta
miss it.
Just
come back
and tell
Mama
where you
want me
to kiss it.

I mean
really
are we
done??
Not even
one last lick
let's throw
ourselves
up against
the counter
and see if
we stick. :p

ONE CAN ONLY BE TOLD

act humble
stay silent
dress pretty
don't frown

BEFORE WANTING TO BE

totally invisible
permanently mute
hallmark like
someone else

AND SO OFTEN FEELING

I should try to be unseen
I should watch my every word
I should always look perfect
I should smile even when in pain

AFTER AWHILE IT'S LIKE

I learn to hide myself in plain sight
Songs speak the words I could never say
Food never stays inside me for  very long
I just want to get through another day