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  Feb 2021 Sally A Lutz
Carlo C Gomez
Exiled to dusk,
Fractions of the sun
Begin to lift away,
In concealment
We shudder,
Casting our reels
Into a pond of uncertainty,
Clock hands bend
With advancing shadow,
And speak of time
Only in past tense.

I so want everything
I ever felt for you
Preserved for posterity,
Even should forever
Be far less than
We imagined.
Sally A Lutz Feb 2021
I believed in you, everything you said, everything you did, I believed it was true. WHY? ... you gave your heart to me, I thought ... You gave your mind to me, I thought ... I told you things you kept it to yourself, I thought... walking by your side I was fearless, sitting by your side I was proud... To see you smile at me I was happy... I believed in you...until the day you left mind and heart couldn't take the pain couldn't trust it was real...ohhh but it was real my world that I once knew was gone,what I believed in was lost. In its place was fear and sadness at what cost ?... Deceit and lies... who were you?who did I see walking with me? who did I feel sitting with me? I have to trust that you loved me as I loved you... My trust is gone forever dug deep in the muddied ground trampled on many times over... A black bird told me that morning, told me of the devastation to come, it took no flight stayed in my sight... I knew there was something wrong, knew I should close my mind and protect my heart I did nothing, made no escape . The drive was horrible the rain told me it was meant to be, but I closed my eyes not to see...I walked through the door on Shakey legs... there you were like never before, forever gone for me to adore... The rain poured and poured mixing with the tears of sadness and pain... they took you away, put you to rest, I believed in you I believed you were who you said you were, now I know that everything was untrue... You kept me in the dark kept me hidden from the reality. WHY? I will forever love the person I thought you were... I forever will cry for the person you were. Endless tears of fighting for the truth will always haunt me...
Sally A Lutz Feb 2021
I was told he has a locked box inside of his mind that holds his most inner turmoil, His anger, His untold secrets of his daunting past...He once Told me he can't open that box, he keeps it bolted shut !  It cracks every once in a while that horrid box...  I have  seen those times, I have been in the path of his internal earthquakes... His eyes are the first to show... A dark shadowy  cloud forms, letting me know, stand back... walk away... fear me... His hands pull inside themselves into tight fists at his unyielding sides... words can't be spoken  the silence is deafening...I sit and wait for him to seal those cracks and come back to me...
Sally A Lutz Feb 2021
Days run into years and blacks turn into grays ...

Childrens height measured clearly on the wall,now are numbers fading not really knowing how tall...

Teaching our babies love and life facts,now they are writing out there own contracts...

Life was so hectic,crazy and fast, now we sit reminiscing of  long ago past...

We laugh at the memories with a tear in each eye... 2 were a handful and 1 was real shy...

Now they are grown we say it's okay, for all 3 are perfect each in their own way.

Overjoyed are we my spouse and me... For our love is still true.We have much to pursue.
Sally A Lutz Feb 2021
Familiar remembrance, justified growing sadness, fearing the inescapable future.
Unabridged love never known.
Forever in darkness you may stay, if you only look inside yourself , not seeing what is real, who is constant. Shielded eyes never see.forever blinded. Always waiting. Never truly free.
Bloodlines, forever near, can't escape the unbridled drumming of the heart that can't feel.
Sally A Lutz Feb 2021
Please release me from this burden of loneliness... This albatross forever holds me down... saddened and trapped by my own hurtful thoughts ... They hold me back from being alive...  I need to escape from my own reality. Take a walk from my secret dungeon and
 breath the fresh air of happiness...  
The eyes and ears of
understanding are far too hard to catch. It's me and only me who can break though these steely walls.  I need to see there could be a day I will laugh and smile without cold miserable feelings still inside of me.
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