Hours spent,
Wasted,
Glued to my bed, staring at the wall, running through scenes from my life that have never happened.
Family and friends who'd love for me to divulge what's going on in my mind,
But The wall can't be hurt by what I have to say, it has no plans to fix me and often our conversations are one sided,
I don't have to tip toe around words,
Not that it would care if I did or did not.

Weird head space
Common sense misplaced
Imma slide on the lies then smack my face
You're to hot to play it cool
Im to smart to keep playing fool
I've spent way to long governing my life in misrule

Unfazed,
Problems glisten but outta my gaze,
Straight faced,
Never fit into their lives so I made my own space,
Nonsense,
these are ramblings baby so
I digress,
I'm picture perfect if your perfect is a work in progress

Slipped up but it's not what you think,
Feels like a life time since I've touched drugs or drink,
Years prior have me feeling empty from all that was given,
Routine played out, last year drunk this year driven

75 mixed with 500m.g
Not tryna feel high just tryna not feel empty

No more poppers has me coughing
My bed is turning in to my coffin

Did the dash and Landed on my face
Out my mind is better then out of place

**** me up like the cards
                       I was dealt,               
  Show me why they say hot as hell
So let's drink to sinning,
Sad eyes grinning
I'll eat my words, tongue and teeth.
But please, I saved my heart for you.

I'm sorry I've been distant,
You've been texting asking if I'm fine,
I could say anything to you, but you see through, if it's not a no it's a lie

I love you that's why I don't want to have you around,
Baby my ship is sinking and neither wanna watch the other drown

This **** unfair and confusing,
Last year it was drugs, this year it's love I'm abusing

It's not wisdom, beautiful it's experience, your my best look and I know you're sick of hearing this

Like this poem, I'm all over the place, lacking beauty, structure and a little ******,
But till the day I'm gone, you're the women I want to love

Issues stick to my side like fat ***'s and cellulite,
Sorry I'm slow , I miss signs, maybe we need a lite Brite
I don't like being pushed over, Imma argue even if I'm not right
Asking if I still want you over,
"Doesn't matter to me"
Even tho I'm dying to have you here tonight

A remedy for the day, without a solution for tomorrow
Repetition looses value when you practice sorrow
Superheroes cry too and the pastor still gets paid,
A new church so the homeless can pray for saviour while their health degrades
No souls saved unless the soul pays

Pieces of me rest with places, people and  moments in time
I've spent years unraveling, leaving a string of memories, a lifeline of who i once was

Lowlife,
thin board,
you've made me more me than I could ever ask for,
Time prison,
time slipping,
every move I make has you at the core
No chore,
to sweet,
you're someone that I thought Id never meet
Awkward,
Left feet,
bite the bullet then kiss my cheek
Thin frame,
big heart,
you make living look like a forgotten art
No choice,
to smart,
I know you'll be gentle with my heart

Sew my own lips shut
Feelings got lost in the cut
Demon's chilling on my porch with the tummy tuck
Blasting at the sun
Forget tomorrow kinda fun
One deep, six feet bury me and let the worms have a run

I don't regret ****,
But id take a couple words back
I try to be clever,
But youre to sharp like a thumb tack

I can be dramatic,
Acting like I lost hope,

We can do bad things,
with my hands around your throat,

Dripping gold with style,
Like we're ******* Baroque