it started
with a sweet lies
just to make a conversation
and just to put a smile on its face

but it ended so quick
no one knows but her that I am a freak
who would only tell such a lies
but she never knew that it was sweeter than sugar

Feelings are iffy
Whether if I tell her or maybe not
But I cannot help it
Even though I may end up suffering.

Playing in the game where I am only alone
There's no one I can lean with but just me alone.
I am a disgusting one yet I keep nurturing myself
And there's even no possibility that I could have her.

I can't have my turn but I won't give up so easily
Albeit I think I am almost done
With this absurdity love of my towards on her
And probably it's a paradoxical thing that I shouldn't even bother.

Had a crush on her
Was a friend of her
Her smile always made my day glitter
It even also made my heart quiver

Then happily we graduated
With her glamorous face yet unexpected
Shone in her beautiful dress
The day that took away my stress.

We both then did not saw each other
Even though in social media I could not even bother
Because I am not an ideal one for her
And because I am a mere commoner.

When we saw each other's face again, nonetheless
I just couldn't even bother less
Because I am not in a place to bother her
Especially when now she's happier.

She has changed too much
I couldn't even get a touch
And we just stare at each other but just briefly
Albeit I just can't accept the fact verily.

The fact that we're not even meant to be
But excuse me, did I even made her happy?
Or it's just that I am only trying to be pally?
Or just trying to be a one even though I loved her unrequitedly?

Refrain from seeing first
And wheeze deeply
Do not descend into stupefaction
Because thee were not born to depart thy life.

Slowly by slowly,
People get easily deceived,
Never knew that love isn't even real,
Because they will just leave you hanging.

But I am tired of consulting,
When I was just fragile one,
Who also did fall easily,
And got hurt in the end.

It is really hard
to breath
when
seeing you
with
someone.

I fled
and
lied in my
bed.

I cried
because of
how many times
I've already tried,
I am still tied;
tied in my own absurdity.

I am jester,
a jester who always
smile
even though
deep inside
I am suffering
indiscreetly.

Just
Can't
Call
It
A
Destiny,

When
You
And
Me
Are
Not
Even
Meant
To
Be.