This is exactly why I use my second account
People make assumptions about poems
Not about them

But my hold is loosening
You'd like it better that way

Rose pillows
Chocolate ***  
Candied kisses
Sugar plum
Smooth intentions
Lacey peeks
Soft and warm
Embarrassed kinks

Last night as I was talking
I realized what happened
And what insecurities
You have always had
Funny how this dance
Happens to be a masquerade
We all hide it somehow

You are the one person who has been a constant
I see the open bible, marked from head to toe
On your skin, the verses alive inside if your heart
Positivity seeps from you're pores, gleaming
And I've never met someone who genuinely listens
I've never met someone who is funny,
Without using these ****** jokes, these negative words
You've never cursed in your life, you remain pure
You don't sink low as to talk about others,
You're faith is deep rooted, and no wind can shake you
Yet your eyes are soft, easy to lock in and feel at home
Every time I'm with you, I feel my spirit lifted,
I feel myself become the very best I could ever be
My role model, I strive everyday to be more like you

Thank you Mother, I finally found a way to connect
And it's the most wonderful way to connect too
Mother, I know you are worried about me
And once again I agree, I am worried about myself
Because these people around me are slipping
Listen to our conversations, listen to how we speak
The words, unnecessary, the profanity is at a high
Would you speak that way in front of Jesus?
Open your eyes, Jesus lives within you,
Yet you curse and tell these jokes, and don't think
And I am becoming like them Mother,
It's so hard to make this decision, to cleanse
when I'll be doing it alone

Know your limits so that you can break through them

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

It's so ******* hard to look these people in the eyes
And I try, but no matter how much I write about it
It's never gotten easier, especially with those people

I had a goal, something to get
But now, I see how impossible
It was for me to strive for that
And with that sudden realization
Maybe it's time I get a new one

No one talks to me anymore

Because I have put literally all of my focus on other people
Because every day I remind her she's strong and pretty
Because I go around reminding other people how great they are
I don't have any compassion left for myself, and even if I did
While I'm building everyone's clay model, perfecting that image
No one has been there to just ask how I'm doing,
But its fine, I truly do enjoy helping others,
It would just be nice if people put in as much effort as I do
To, not to sound selfish, but show they care

Despite my frustration towards my appearance
I am actually quite grateful with everything have
I know I, and others, take it for granted sometimes

I want to leave this school
I want to leave everyone here
I want to start over new
I want to find new people

I looked in the mirror and decided I don't look twelve anymore
I look thirteen

I have the potential to be beautiful

Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains
Your justice like the ocean depths
You care for people and animals alike O Lord, how precious is Your unfailing love!

Gifted people are everywhere
She, well have you seen how smart?
How about her beautiful paintings
Those two can sing amazingly
The way she tye dyes? That's talent
How about that guitar she plays
She could make any shot on the court
Her kind words have to be a gift
And then there's that one
She can't sing, shoot, paint, play,
All she can do is dribble a ball, averagely

Slow strums on a peaceful guitar
Golden sun rays through the widow
A sweater with tea and spring birds

Dôńt thē dėçøråtïõńš måkē įt härdęr tø rêãd

I don't consider myself a poet
I don't consider myself an artist
I don't consider myself smart
But I consider myself an athlete
Though I'm not pristine at that
It may be all I have

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle

The boy wasn't okay
He was depressed
He saw dead people
He needed help, but
No one was there
I thought what would I do
I would **** myself
Now stop. Your worried now
You think I'm depressed
Suicidal? No. So stop.
Only in his situation would I
But that's what scares me
That boy never found happiness
Even sunlight and people
It never made him truly happy
What if I will never be happy?
What happens if the mountains
Don't make me warm and smile
But they do. So stop worrying
Look at the pictures on your walls
I am happy? But it's not visible
All you see is straight lines for smiles
And your father isnt listening!
Dad? I'm trying to talk
But the computer held his attention
Longer than I could
Can I hold anyone's attention?
And how can you tell worth
And when will this feeling go away
Or how long will you stay
What about those videos
What about those videos
I'm afraid to walk into a room
Where there is an adult for fear
That I'll hear that again
But I want to hear myself breath
Heavily not because of ***,
But because you have my heart racing
And my lungs have to keep up
My mind is racing but still feels like a
brick
But how can something be dense
When it also feels empty?
Speaking of dense, me?
All because its late at night
And this is what scary movies do to me.

Lately it's been harder to look people
in the eye
As if I'm trying to hide something

Looking at myself is funny
Scrolling through videos of
Myself from years ago
How thin, young, high pitch
How small, yet extremely confident
How goofy, and unafraid
How assured I was, How unscarred
How unaffected, unaware
And how nice it was to be that way

It's a drug
Im addicted
More like
Overdosing

Sometimes I think I'm just an    
annoyance to other people
Sometimes I think I should just
Stop talking and stay away

He told me I could be a model
Out of the blue

Maybe if someone pretended
To love me, I would be better off

Sometimes people need a shock
To get their heart beating again

Everywhere people act like they don't care
Friends, parents, siblings, all do it to avoid
Letting their human show.
Since when was human nature a crime

Maybe she's not as confident
As she thought she was

Her feelings are the same
But her attitude is different

Maybe one day you'll wonder and ask
And I will gladly tell you

She drew and she drew
Until she looked at all the pictures
And they all were versions of you

I just need to yell and scream
And at least make sure the birds know

I need you right now

I know the best thing for me is to let go
But you don't know how many times
I have tried, but come running back

Literally I'm so ******* done
With friends
Family
I'm so ******* done
Can't find one ******* person
Who seems to give a ******* ****

With the last two poems being about my parents
I guess you could say I'm running into some issues

It seems like everyone I am encountering is either taking advantage of me, or doesn't care

Sometimes I think I am seriously taken for granted

When will one of these songs be about me and you

If you love me
If you love me
Let it happen
I won't care

I am teetering again
And I guess it's up to me
To decided which way
I fall

You know all I want is to lay in the grass
On a hill with a slight breeze, and it's warm
And listen to wind chimes and someone else's
Steady breathing

No one actually wants me
They just want me to want them

For a second I actually thought...
But never-mind, I've always
Been one to misinterpret things

Sorry if this sounds cliche
But valentines day ***** ***
Honestly, what a wake up call
That nobody ******* wants you

What's the point in trying anymore
Wasn't it better when I was emotionless