I cannot recreate your smile with lines of a pencil.

I cannot capture the twinkle in your eyes in a photograph.

I cannot imagine your bubbly laughter with no recorder.

                                               I can, however,

see and hear you as best as I can in my mind,

and wait as long as needed until I see

                  your full smile,

       and that twinkle in your eyes,

and burst from your contagious laughter

                                                     again.

Things that blow,
The wind following your body’s beautiful curves, yet you hate anyone associating the word ‘beautiful’ to any part of you.
Your voice isn’t naturally low or manly like Joe’s. You wanna be like him, but Joe-Shmo that’s not what you deserve. You deserve you.
You stare at yourself in the mirror, thinking that the image should be clearer, thinking that instead of nearer, how you feel and how you look couldn’t be further apart. And it breaks my heart, you didn’t get what you need, and you’re falling apart, wanna depart, want a restart switch… And the best suggested alternative is a cut and stitch.

Stop telling yourself how much you hate yourself and stop saying it's your fault, stop having bad thoughts and try to see some good, there are still things to live for, stop hurting yourself stop scaring me with your goodbyes stop running with scissors stop playing in the traffic stop saying you'll finally do it  
... Live.

I don’t understand all that you go through and I know you don’t expected me to. But I do know pain, and I’ve dealt with confusion. I understand that this life you live seems like an illusion. This body you deplore because it’s not really your’s. When trying to be yourself starts feeling like a chore. When it’s just easier to tell yourself you’re done for.
But I’ll tell you, if I was in a candy store, and you were a candy with a hard outside-gooey core, even if your exterior didn’t completely match your true interior, I’d still pick you. Because you’re sweet.
It wouldn’t matter how messy you might be or how awful you think you must taste,
as long as your fingers were interlaced with mine, you’d be my cup of tea.
As I hold my tea cup’s waist and look at its reflection, I can see warmth and affection. Rejection and self-protection. I can handle a little messy and Darling I will let you know exactly how you ******* sweet imperfection.

And when you stare at yourself in the mirror, this time, I’ll be there, blowing the wind across your body’s natural, handsome curves.

I will sometimes forget
The stories you tell me.
The ones about
All your friends
And your grand
Adventures
And mistakes
Because at the time,
I am recording in my mind
How noticeably your freckles
Cover your nose and cheeks
And in what direction
Each wrinkle in the
Corners of your
Eyes
Flies.

Mr. Heard have you heard of the bird stuck on the third floor?
Its song slurred and absured singing a song it overheard
Mr. Heard have you heard of the bird stuck on the third floor?
Its eyes blurred from the fall, wings broken and heart soft spoken
Mr. Heard have you heard of the bird stuck on the third floor?
It sings of you finding it, sheltering it under your wing
and allowing it to heal, allowing it to sing
Mr. Heard have you heard of the bird stuck on the third floor?
You saved it without knowing it, it's you it sings for
It's you it adores, wings open and a heart that soars

"You gon'a sleep all mornin', Bud?"

We get up for the day
Breakfast first, or else we're both wild animals
He walked over in such a way
An older version of my pal

An abandoned soul
A loyal, trusting friend
He makes me whole
He's a tired old ten

Was always horrible with words
Got homesick a lot, too
Always had to be with Ma and Pa
For me, there's nothing he wouldn't do

"You stop to smell the roses, Bud?"

I love long walks
On the beach
A flaky line, but it mocks
I want to teach
you about Meech

He lays down
Breathless, aching body
But oh man that was a great walk
His smile doesn't dare frown

A lonely soul
Last night I lost my best friend
In my heart, a sunken hole
At least now I won't have to pretend

"You just sleep in now, Bud."

Late night walking empty streets,
staring at the concrete
A bare ***** human skull
stripped from all its meat,
hanging from the tree branch
like an apple on an apple tree
Should have kept walking,
empty,
staring at the concrete

RKT

She rested a hand on my shoulder and smiled,
"Nice guys finish last."
My ****** expression remained the same while taking in
what left her tongue as her smile and hand soon left me.
She's going back to the other guy.
The 'bad boy'.
The kind of guy who won't consider her first,
the kind of guy who won't share how he's feeling first,
the kind of guy who lied to her, saying she was his first.
My shoulder, still warm from her hand, shrugs.
It, and the rest of me, know. I'm the guy who touches her the deepest,
I'm the guy who will do anything to see her warm, comforting smile,
I'm the guy who will wait for the bad boy to break her heart.
I'm the 'nice guy'.
She may come to me lastly, but in her heart,
I will finish first.

Once you feel that tiny
almost non existing
sensation
of freedom and inspiration
in your chest and soul,

you're happy.

Fulfill those small
streams of creativity

and you're truly happy.

She grounded her feet
and leaned forward
peering into tiny mud puddles.
She saw the outline of her wavy hair
with one stray piece rebelling
from how she wanted it to rest
on the top of her head.
And she wanted to fix it,
but couldn't completely.

*

He grinded his teeth
and leaned forward
peering into tiny blood puddles.
He saw the outline of his unmarked arms
with one sharp blade rebelling
from how he wanted it to be
on the darkest of his nights.
And he wanted to stop for her,
but couldn't completely.

I look up from my page
to the cloud covered sky
as I see rain falling heavily

Rain.

I open my heavier window
and listen silently

I love the way it sounds
as it hits the earth's ground,
the water of the pond,
the birds come out to play.

Love.

I love the way it smells
It calms me, leaves me unable
to do anything but enjoy it.
It blocks out everything else,
leaving me in a gaze.

Joy.

You told me you loved the rain too.
I wish I could have met you
Why did you have to go?

But I know this crying sky,
It won't give you back to me.
I'll listen to its soothing fallen words instead.

So for now,
I'll enjoy it for what it is.

Before

I was slowly beginning to trust

Myself

Because I wasn’t going to be unfaithful

To someone who actually cared about me

This time.

After

I saw you return to your old life

Closer friends

People who also loved you

I was slowly beginning to trust

My overwhelming feelings

And prayed that these

Friends

Would allow you to stay faithful to me

This time.

Drowning her lips in a warm cup of sweet tea
She listens closely to her memory of the wild sea
One day soon, she will return
She will return home
To drown her lips in the salty sea

Nobody has ever asked me
if I had dimples, before...

And I was never sure
if they were a beautiful characteristic,
or just dents in a round face.

They showed themselves, proudly,
after he had told me he thought they
were beautiful.

Lovely, even.

And a light pink quickly,
but gently,
surrounded them with a calming acceptance.

Even dents in my round pink face
were enough to make me feel beautiful
in his charming eyes.

You've never changed
And your unfathomable number of wrongs
have never changed intentions.

Do you wish that I in return,
Solicit faithlessness?

So you may feel
As if I'm really not as high as the matured stars,
But a stick in the childish mud,
like you?

Tell me why would I want
To ever change my intentions.

His ears focussed to the child's melodic tune coming from the seat behind him in the truck with the Spice Girls blasting radio. He smiles at her brother joining in, but keeps his eyes on the road. Dad stretches an arm over the front passenger seat's shoulder to where Mum has woken to her songbirds.

On the sofa
             Arm in Arm
                          Cheek to Cheek
                                           She speaks softly

"Darling, I've wondered... How would you describe me to a stranger?"

He pauses a moment
                     Pushing a piece of hair
                                                     Behind her ear

"To a blind person,
I'd tell them you're the most gorgeous face to wake up next to."

She smiles
        He continues

"To a deaf person,
I'd write to them how lovably silly you sound while singing in the shower.

To our new neighbor we have yet to meet (still counts as a stranger),"

She giggles
       He smiles at her

"I'd warn him of your amazing cooking and your famous house warming recipe.

And to the meanest of the mean, a truly horrific person,
I'd tell them they should be more like my darling; the nicest of the nice.
Never speaks poorly of another, is generous with her smiles, helps any one
and any thing when in need, accepts people for who they are, and - Oh, love...."

She lifts her head to him
                                  Slight concern in her lovely face

"What is it, Jake?"

He smiles at her
                     Kissing her forehead

"All these unlucky strangers would think you're not real, or too-good-to-be-true!
But you're definitely real, and I'm the luckiest man to be with you."

I've never been too good with my left hand
I'm spilling
Dripping
But thank goodness I'll be there in a few more steps

Shaky steps
Unbalanced
Inching slowly to the table
"Here you go-"
And I almost spill the cup of morning goodness everywhere

"O-oh dear me..."

I've never been too good at accepting this
I'm upset
Crying
But thank goodness angels hands have touched mine

Soft hands
Reassuring
Holding mine a little tighter
"Grandma, it's alright"
And I almost spill my little smile onto the floor

"Thank goodness for angels"

A very friendly young man who wasn't shy to start a conversation with you.
'Was my first and last conversation we shared
Til an equally painless force took him from his loved ones.
And from people like me,
Who were for some reason or another,
Meant to have known of him.
Rest In Peace.
Rest in the friendly Earth's soil.
Rest with memories of you
In conversations shared between your loved ones
And people like me.

"You rank of daisies,"

The washroom stall told me.

I look, I sniff, I say,

"You rank of a teen that was bored today."

My hand
in which you
till rows with
your fingers
will produce
the most painfully
exquisite
flowers
by the time
my adoration
for you
reaches the point
where our fingertips
touch.
There will always
be flowers
in my hands
for you,
even if
our fingertips
part.

Her bones shake
from his earthquake
inside her core,
from the ache
of 'no more'.

He takes her shoulder
She shrugs it away
She won't let him
Hold her
Now that he won't
Stay

He can't tell her why
Why?
And doesn't realize
As she will realize
That's how her heart will die
*You can see it in her clouding eyes.

Blonde Green
eyes
Narcissistic
insisted I
behind my back
Best friends to
enemies to
Emily
Wolfville
my friend from
childhood
betrayed her
for another
friend
Lies
Talked
strangers
The pain Ignored
my plea to fix us I
Silence She
cries and
doesn't
understand
saw you and you
saw right through me
      “Hello”
why I won’t take her
back this
time.

Have some tea with me, let's share a deep conversation

about the stars in the sky

about what happens when we die


Make a kind gesture, hold this ladies hand and show me

what you think is proper love

how you'd hold only me above

I couldn't understand
what was happening between us.
It seemed so foolish
But even after you realized that
you pushed to make dark space between us.

I couldn't understand
why you wouldn't even glance my way.
It was so hurtful
I was only trying to make another friend

But you misunderstood
Thought I was replacing you
**** like I ever would!
It's been half a year since and I miss you
The only good thing time's done is cooled me down
so now I make sense when I talk this out!

But I'd rather choke on my words
Try to say something but I'm crying too much
That it cuts the insides of my throat
leaving me starring at you and managing

"Silly"

My silly friend thinking silly things.

"Stubborn"

We both hurt each other even if things were misunderstood so just admit it!

"I'm Sorry"

And if you don't take this 25th chance then

"I'm Sorry"

Cause I'll be done with this painful relationship.

Your secrets were always safe with me//Wasn't my fault people were smarter than you stupidly thought they'd be//Would it have been better, more clever, if they believed you were a werewolf?//However, you did have the claws that shot out and grabbed me//I'd never lay a hand on you how you would land on me//I could see it when you wore your fangs and raised your fist up to harm me//Werewolf//Instead you got in my face and twist my wrists//So close we could of kissed should of kissed but you were ****** that I wanted to coexist..
Your growling was a turn on but you were ******* me while scowling//Because how dare I please tease and ******* hourly then beg you for one pounding//Yeah, ******* is the best and you were ******* with the best but your kind of ******* was so ******* messed//And you made me feel like a used **** test.//Red wild eyes going to sleep and waking up//Had to have the green since you were just a little wolf pup//They ask you if you want another bowl-full you turn and bark YupYup.
And just so we can recap//You weren't always a monster//You were a gentleman when I first met you//For two months then I saw the real monster in you//You had me in your trap and then I saw that you were turning//You began to snap and then you were cracking and squirming//I found it disturbing//But I held on for months hoping that around you'd be turning.
But you only came back around when you were howling homeless like a stray//You cheated on me with her//Tried to kick me out to keep her//They ALL said that you'd been with HER//But your hustle couldn't make a ***** stay//She learned you always blew your pay//On the drugs and on the Obey//Discovered your secret then didn't give you the time of day//So she scampered off back to her ex//Lone wolf//But I took you back in//You saw I was less than thin//Like Hell you cared, you were wearing monster skin//You're a cold-hearted werewolf//With a sharp ****** grin.
I can name the one time when you came to my rescue//You were ******* with them other sheep and I was under their fescue//I don't know why you bothered to yank me up from the muck when at the end you took my head and smacked it down til it stuck//Got back up and had those sheep cooked for supper//Now they're on my side, in my insides//Now they're gone, I'm gone, and no one's left to hear you mutter//Your secrets were always safe with me//But now you are just a lone wolf.

RKT

You always had a star in me
Yet were wishing on a shooting one
Well bang she banged then shot you down
Then flew away, was on the run
And oh she ran

Til she ran into me and I swore
I wanted to grab a drip pan
And her wasp waist
Pin her wings so she couldn't sting
And bleed her out to save my mind from
These thoughts i faced
Same for the rest of them you wanted to taste.

I don't think you realize what you put me through
Drove a dagger into my heart and twist until i turned a different hue
Then I looked up to see my arms still opened for you.

I was pathetic and weak
Gave you the benefit of the doubt
Waiting for you to stop this ****** streak
I hated who you made me too
So after finding another **** video from your ex
I packed my **** up and I left you.

Just hoping no one evers calls me Perfect again
Just to take what they want from me every now and then
I hope you see the crazy **** I've accomplished since
And know I could never have done it with you

I survived because the flicker inside me burned hotter than your wildfire
Stop trying to get me back
Cause this time You Don't Get To Get Me Back
I'm a ******* Wildflower.

RKT

Weather-worn wooden slats
Held beside one another by wire
Touching three locations, twisted three times in between
Seaweed tangled
And splintered
Taken over by a vast land of sand

But not giving in completely.
Tall grass adds to its earthy vibe
as does the drift wood

Weather-worn wooden slats
That have been through their hellish storms
Still linked together through thick and thin

A piece of tall grass
Tied around my wrist
a reminder of staying strong
through staying together

Inspiration, at its simplest form.

Laying down
Faced up
Staring at the ceiling
Using it as canvas to paint out my feelings

Looking over
Feeling closer
Memories I recall
I can see them in the writings on my bedroom wall

Words that speak of good times
Oh I love how it all rhymes
And makes me revisit
Makes me admit
How much I love the memories I've made with you

I smile
A quarter smile
Think 'Excuse me miss, I miss your face'
Even if we're only in an imaginary place

My heart beats wild
From your smile
You turn around and hug me
Call my name out, say you love me

Muscles tighten
Wanting embrace
I remember how you feel about personal space
Then I remember the sweetness in how you taste

Move my body
You move my soul
I promised you I'd come up with a word to describe you
Its definition 'When deeply touched -emotionally- by a loved one', how you do

Lovamto
I say it slow
Loving, amazing, and touching
What you are in your simple 'Hello'

Looking lower
Falling fast
Hoping you'll stay with me throughout my dreams
Throughout my life
Cause like the light on our future
My love for you gleams