I can't think, these days.
Every moment to myself is spent
Contemplating
A hundred different ways.

I can't move, these days.
Nothing matters, nothing catches my
Attention
Or makes me want to stay.

I can't breath, lately.
Cigarettes are a slow suicide so I'll
Quit
Once I have the energy.

I can't speak, lately.
I pick up the phone to put it down
Again
I'll call, just wait on me.

I'm tired now.
I'm exhausted, squeezed dry.
But I'm still breathing.
Unhappy but breathing. Unsatisfied.

I'm lonely now.
I'm estranged, all alone.
But I don't want company.
On my own, Unconcerned. Home.

I'm done now.
Completed, a finished piece.
But I should be more.
Failure. Useless. Finis.

She will be searching for people
To keep at her side for the rest of her life.

She won't find any of these people
In her head, but that's where they thrive.

She will be searching until she finds
Beauty in the deepest of senses, in the best of ways.

She will be disappointed, come up empty handed
For the rest of her days.

Hello, New Year, will you be kind?
I doubt it, I doubt you, and this is why:

Last year you were cruel, you ripped good from Earth
You watched tragedies happen without a bit of shame.
You couldn't be bothered to reverse your stroll, reverse time
And that doesn't change simply because you changed your name.

If you're heart is always over-explosive,
people will call you a maniac,
I know some folk who fall in love too easy
and they're broke and they live in 2 bedroom apartments,
their rent is like the Romans sticking
nails in their wrists.

I'm not really interested, I.N.R.I.
My younger nephews crying
because I tipped over his new toy,
I laughed way too hard.
I laugh way too hard.

Sleep before work before *******
and **** your day,
constellations on constellations.
Everyone I admire wants to die.
We all commit to suicide more sincerely
than our current relationships.

We're all incompatible,
and no one sleeps enough.
I am a culprit too, I am invaluable,
I'm in denial over a lot of things,
drown it out with aspirin and youtube,
and vitamin D and spicy foods
and water and orange juice...

Enough coffee to drown a child,
they say it only takes three inches though
[everything's a *** joke, everything's innuendo,
or it's a gritty reboot of a silly franchise,
Robocop was ****** up in the eighties
now it's warm milk and
grandma's pull out couch].

I can't figure out why we need
two holidays to celebrate genocide,
my friends probably think I'm insane
and I'd never call them wrong.
I'm not really interested though.

You wonder sometimes, don't you,
often as well, but maybe when
you're in bed,
or
on public transportation.

You wonder how they all do it,
and how they all step like ants
to a rhythm without numbers.

You wonder how everyone else
can possibly stand all of this *******
nonsense and not just blow up
or snap and just lose their
******* minds.

Start fires and explosions and
**** prime ministers and presidents,
and cry and **** and protest the
meaninglessness of such a
cruel gift as humanity.

You wonder how everyone hasn't given up.

All the while,
everyone else wonders
when everyone else will
******* lose it too.