Q - Hello Poetry

Q Dec 2014

May 27, 1997, a little girl was born
She gave a disdainful gaze at all there was to see
Silent, she balled her fists and closed her eyes;
That was the last place she wanted to be.

Over the years she found existence fleeting
Fourteen years later, she was only half free.
She screamed until she could breathe again
As that was the last place she want to be.

August 26,2013 she saw him
And she met her shortly and finally, finally breathed
And she smiled and laughed and loved
And that was the only place she wanted to be.

October 7, 2014 she heard a bad joke
And no one laughed until she believed
And she cried until she was numb because
There was no place she'd ever wanted to be.

December 22, 2014 she sits and stares at nothing
She presses her fingers to her neck and feels her heartbeat
With a sigh, she acknowledges she's living life
And this is the last place she wants to be.

#suicide #depression #life #death #thoughts

Q Dec 2014

Crackden Melody

Old friends, new crowds
The sun still burns through the clouds
White hands, brown skin
No way out, no way in.

This is a clique, you're not invited
We're alone together and we like it.
We sell death, we use death until it's dying
We fight death and lose and keep on trying.

We sing like seagulls, feast like falcons
Needles and powder: you won't catch us without them.
We shake ourselves down and shake all the way up
And even when we're past ground level, it's not enough.

****** jazzy tunes in this crackden melody.
We'll introduce you to our eyes and allow you to see.
We'll let you meet our minds and soar above the clouds.
You've got a taste for it; you'll never leave us now.

I wrote this a while back

#life #drugs #bad #idk

Q Dec 2014

With Ears That Hear and Eyes That See

To know life is both the greatest gift and curse
The opportunity is overestimated in worth
When, come the end, our brand of uselessness is realized
We age, then sicken, then curl up to die.

There's love untapped in the first meeting
That withers and fades as the heart continues beating
I would that intrigue would take me, send me reeling
As intrigue has never been fickle or fleeting.

There's not time enough for intrigue or awe
As we've yet to comprehend how to live life at all
We'd rather follow the steps worn into the ground
Right into our coffins and six feet down.

How routine kills; it's acceptable genocide
How routine leads us, so sweetly, to die.
How we exist in ignorance, cover our ears and eyes
How we live in stupidity, the blind leading the blind.

Ah, useless eyes and worthless tongue
A world struck gray, a mouth struck dumb.
Ah, treacherous mind and failing nose
With nothing to smell, with nothing to know.

May the generation realize the futility
That put an end to you, an end to me
Before life would shake them, they may leave
With ears that hear and eyes that see.

#freedom #life #death #thoughts

Q Dec 2014

Reasons Rather Like Excuses

It doesn't matter and it never mattered
You're smiling into your mattress while you suffocate.
The sky was black and blue like bruises that night
All the doors were open but you didn't run away.

It's completely possible you're stuck here
Even though you've never stopped for a single day
If you took just the smallest of respites
It's not impossible that your mind would break.

Maybe in half a year everything will pay off
If it does, you'll be indifferent to it anyway.
Maybe you'll lie about lying about keeping promises
And allow yourself to come of age.

Turn over, inhale, there's blood on the ceiling
Count the popcorn kernels until your vision blurs and fades.
Two hours and you're back where you began
Two hours and you're forced awake, every single day.

No sadness, no contentment, no joy, no depression
Just calm, cool acceptance of bits of existence.
The epitaph will be angry, begging to know why you'd do this
And you'll give reasons rather sounding like excuses.

#depression #death #thoughts