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I feel light,
as if right before death
or maybe I’m already dead and writing.
Who can make sense of life?
I’ll just go out onto the balcony,
smoke a cigarette,
keep up the routine,
and act as if I’m alive.
Stuck in a time loop
Of endless days with only false ends in sight
Filled with papers
That cut me up and down
Till I’m once again a coward
Wanting the easy escape
Just to break the cycle
Just to make the pain stop
Forever
I hate school and I don’t know what to do.
Sunset kisses,
the ocean’s skin.
Orange light cradles,
in the waves' arms.
And the sky’s darkness,
finds a home,
in the ocean's heart.
Wish to see it someday, in reality....
What am I,
if I can’t let her go?
If others move on,
find new faces,
new lives,
but I stay here,
chained to a ghost
I don’t want to forget?

Do they love less?
Or do I love too much?
Did I lose myself
in her laugh, her touch,
the way she existed
so effortlessly near me?

I don’t want to move on.
I don’t want a new story.
I’d rather love her
with all the weight of this ache.
for years, for decades,
for the rest of my life.

If that’s wrong,
then what am I?
Isn't it beautiful
How the most vivid colors and scenes
Can be created from
Only the black and white on a page?
Movement, harmonies, blends of hues
Described with only memories wished from a writer to you.
Am I free?
Can I do anything I want,
and I'm still free?

Free is a big word,
it has been used since the
ancient times.

Still using in a
modern era of
free times.

But am I have
freedom in this
life?

I want to travel,
But no means.

I want to eat foods,
But can't afford.

I want technology,
But I need a payment.

So, I must find a job first.
Become slave just to earned,
just to fill my needs.

Freedom is a must,
But cash is the needs.

My question is,
Am I free?

— The End —