You left an imprint on my heart
and wrote in it
with indelible love
a letter of forgiveness
a song,
paragraphs of hope
and sonnets of grace

It's like hearing the ticking of a time bomb
But not able to find where it’s coming from  
Until you put your hand to your chest
And then you realize
That the bomb is your heart
And the tick, ticking
Is
Its
Beat.

mistakes that were made, promises made and broken
love with time, wings that were bent and broken
unstable and hurt, yet sustained and endured
secrets that were kept, some said and shared
the ones hidden away, slowly are revealed
scars and bruises that hid a meaning, those are shared
the bruises that didn't leave visible scars
they left one hidden deep inside
bruise that of my father, and of my mother
they leave a scar, that on my heart
a child left in the dark, like a demon
she clawed her way into the light
just to be smacked away, back in the dark
left there to die, someone brought forth their hand
to guide back the child, to the light once again

in this moment
as the waves
erode the sand
beneath my feet

and the wind howls
across the white capped waves
i am serene

the future
while never stable
is ever hopeful
the past
dealt with as best
as one can

and the now
holds my hand
and watches our boy  
laughing,
as he chases sandcrabs

so I brought my writer wife
(prominently pregnant)
to the hospital
and on her bed, she screamed:
"weren't" "hasn't" "couldn't" "shan't"
"aint" "hadn't" "you're" "isn't"
"aren't" "didn't" "wasn't"
"who's?" "what's?" "he's" "she's"

The doctors were confounded
and they turned to me and they said:
"What the hell is she doing?"

And I replied with double speed
and a violent sense of urgency:
*"Don't you know?
She's having contractions -
she's a writer"

Someday
A prince will come
But not on a horse
And not with his knights
Most especially,
Not to me

There are two types of people
The heart breakers, and the broken-hearted
I cannot be the heart breaker
It pains  my body, as fear pulses through my veins
knowing i will be broken again
You ripped the muscle from my chest
And left a scar that bleeds each time
you kiss her, touch her, think of her
don't kiss me, don't touch me, and don't think of me
It aches and aches
Why have i let you break me?
There are two types of people
heart breakers, and the heartbroken
how can you destroy me by loving her?
How can you break me and remain unshattered?
Why can i never be the breaker
Ripping the souls form others chests
Turning their advances into worthlessness
turning their love into loathing
turning their hearts to stone
like you did mine.

summer has me missing winter
winter has me wondering where I went wrong
i'm a little too ashamed of the way I feel
and a little too comfortable with always feeling sick
plan ahead for disappointment, because nothing ever goes as planned

When you sit alone at night
And can't help but stare blankly into darkness
Remembering all those times you were
torn up
  chewed up
    spit out
      stepped on
        shattered into millions of pieces
Not knowing why, and wondering how the hell you ever made it


Curling into a ball and hugging yourself tighter than ever
With the quiet, shallow breathing you've perfected so as to not wake a soul
And tears escaping your eyes and cracking your insides as if you were nothing but raw
Shaking as if the room was cold beyond compare
Fighting inner demons as they try to escape through every pore of your body
As if they were trying to take hold of where a warrior once possessed
Spasms of terror paralyze limbs, thoughts taking over
Closing your eyes tight until the time has passed
Falling asleep, recouping for nights to come