I'm not "smart" like them.

I'm not "bright" as them.

I'm not "confident" like them.

I'm not "beautiful" as them.

I'm not "someone" like them.

Can you just accept that?

I don't like crying myself anymore

-Said myself in the mirror.

" Are you okay? " They asked
I didn't know how to answer
anxiety couldn't help but over think
and depression checked out
- until next time

YOU'RE TO DEPRESSING

His words haunted over me as if death had become my guardian angel.
Endless years of basic training, constantly asking if this is a battle you want to fight.
Only to be left on the front line alone with nothing but a knife carved from lies, lodged in my spine.
Your flirtation quickly change to manipulation.
Thanks for "putting up with me" while i got the help i needed,
i mean after all you dated me while i was addicted to drugs,
and you made it known.
Throwing my past in my face,
looking down at me like some DISGRACEFUL ******
You said you loved me.
Now I know.

The clock ticks
She’s stiff as a stick.
She counts the seconds going by
Pressing her fingers into her thigh.
She feels the woman urging her to talk
She watched her skin turn white as chalk.
Her mother forces her to go
Her counselor thinks it’s good
But her recovery is slow
And here she never felt understood.

The metal chair squeaks at the girl
She wonders why the girl is mute
She wants to comfort her, pat her hand
But instead takes her pen to write a note.
She has good intentions, she wants to help
What she doesn’t realise is she cannot help
The girl trapped inside the little girl
That’s sitting right in front of her.

These two minds don’t think alike
She won’t listen anyway
To some of the strategies and advice
Offered to her night and day.
She has one side only, her dark side
That she is quite happy with.
What is the point of getting better
When her life will be nothing but bitter?

The irony:
The speaking deaf
Are not heard

Being stuck
On a person
On a feeling
On a situation

Are these emotions misplaced?
Has it been present all along?
I wish we could find out
Maybe we will
Just not together

I wanna die
Maybe then I'll be able to breathe