Dark tendrils reaching for me
Grasping at me
Taking me
An all consuming void

A killer freefall
A crash landing with impact at any moment
Holding my breath
Closing my eyes tight

Will this time be the end of me?
Will this time be my true rock bottom?
Will this time finally pull me into the abyss?

It feels like it is
Like it will be
It feels as if the abyss in my stomach
Will finally take my soul

I know it won’t
I’ve fought too hard to survive
To give up on life today

If I am to die
It will be on my terms
Not the dark tendrils reaching for me

It's not a bad day

It's raining outside after a night of loud thunder

It's not a bad day

I woke up in blood

It's not a bad day

I had to wash my sheets and scrub my mattress

It's not a bad day

I couldn't figure out what to wear

It's not a bad day

I couldn't look at my body without disgust

It's not a bad day

I struggled to find an outfit to make it bearable

It's not a bad day

My new thrifted necklace broke in two places

It's not a bad day

My ears started bleeding when I put in earrings

It's not a bad day

I ran out of time to do my chores before I had to leave

It's not a bad day

I have to go to the store after my college classes

It's not a bad day

The 20 dollar manicured nail polish are already chipping after 4 days

It's not a bad day

I promise
It's not a bad day
It can't be a bad day

It may not look like much
But today I'll clutch this medal
And hold it against my chest
Knowing its okay to rest

I've been gone so long
My voice moved on
I couldn't explain who I was

I still struggle to see
How this is me
The same as 2016

I've fought and I've struggled
Feeling alone
Fighting a dragon
I felt impossible to slay

But here I am
Standing strong here for myself

This mountain I climb
Does not define who I am

The difference in me
Doesn't make me
A different breed

Too many words
Thoughts
Ideas
Pictures

Clogged pores
Gears
Mind
Lungs

Drown myself in media
Muffle the sound
Muzzle my mind

Going to implode
Explode
Both

Trapped in a cage
Walls shrinking in
Too much against my skin

Electricity in my veins
Bees in my mind
Nothing behind my eyes

Must get out
Must escape
Must smile
Must behave

The time of man
Chooses the future

Is it true
or only a violent episode?

The growth of the unique
Are revolutionizing our ideas

Stripping away the broken
In public by an audience of connoisseurs

The king is dead
What will the robin do then, poor thing?

Suds in your eye
Household words

Two thousand years of war
Enjoyed at home
In a city in love with
The critic's view