Hello
This is my introduction
Of me

My name is that of a flower
My name is Daffodil
A choice made by
My mother

I was born when all flowers bloom
Into the world
When all things warm up again

My past isn't bright
Like the month I was born
It's dark and cold
As if I was stuck in a never ending
December

Regardless of my past
I remain resiliant
And hopeful
Of all the things to come

My favorite colours are
White
Pink
And orange
But I walk the halls wearing mostly
Shades of yellow

I have many friends
And blend in among all types
Of crowds
Shining bright as can be
Spreading sheerful smiles
Among everybody

I tend to tuck myself away among friend groups
That have already been established
They appreciate my company
For they say I keep the pests away
With my cheerful display

I have unfortunately earned the nickname of daffy
But people say they like it
Because it dulls me down a bit
And apperently I need that

So hello
This is me
I hope one day we meet

You have decided you no longer
Want to know me

You say I'm too much
You say you feel
Like ****
When you're around me
So you've decided
To leave

I'm devastated
But at the same time
I'm relieved
And I dont know why

Maybe it's because I won't hear you
Telling me all the things I do
That are wrong

Maybe it's because I won't hear you
Telling me how I make you feel
And that
Its not good

I won't hear you say
"You don't make me feel okay"

I won't hear you say
"I dont want your help"
Because if I help you
Then you'll want me around

I won't hear you say
"You're too much to handle"

I won't hear you say
"You get in the way"
When all I do
Is try to help you
Except for when im really not okay

I won't hear you say
"I'm sorry, I can't help"
When you never even tried

So yeah
Maybe I'm relieved
Because I can finally see
That you were toxic to me

Maybe I'm relieved
Because I can finally see
How you truly treated me

If I ignore the hugs
The cuddles
The butterflies
The smiles
The walks
The holding hands
The peaceful nights

I can remember all the times
That you treated me like ****
And they exceed the ones
Where you didn't.

You weren't toxic
For once I found someone healthy
But of course the way I am ruins it

Do you ever just
Sit on the bathroom floor
Staring at the blades
Hoping someone will know
Maybe send a text that will save you
From bleeding tonight

Do you ever just
Lay in bed
Wondering where
Everything went so wrong
Wondering why you are so hard
To love

Do you ever just
Go for a walk
And wonder who else is
Walking around lonely
Wishing to run into another
So that maybe they can be the one
To save you from yourself

Do you ever just
Drown in music
Staring at the roof
The stars
Or the ground beneath your feet
And wonder how many others
Feel the way you do
Or if you're the only one
Whose at the limit tonight

Do you ever just
Wish to be on the moon
But with no air to breath
So that you can finally
Die in peace

It washes my emotions away
And make me feel free
Can you figure out what I'm talking about?

I hold it in my hands to numb them
And it makes me feel at peace
Can you figure out what I'm talking about?

It drips down my skin
And soothes me deep within
Can you figure out what I'm talking about?

It holds me close
And makes me feel less alone
Can you figure out what I'm talking about?

It heats me up all over
And sends my body into overload
Can you figure out what I'm talking about?

It makes all thoughts disappear
And leaves me breathless
Can you figure out what I'm talking about?

The thought of it sets me at ease
And fills me with a weird sense of peace
Can you figure out what I'm talking about?

I say I'm alright
I say i'm okay
But you don't see the smile
When it falters form my face

You see the happiness
And the laughs you hear
But you're not there when I start to fear

You're not there when I question
All that life
Is to me

You're not there when I question
What it means
To be

I say I'm alright
I say I'm okay
But really deep down
I'm starting to decay

You linger there
In the back of my mind
Like a ghost
Held in by time

You linger there
Trying to push your way forward
Urging me to think
About
YOU

You linger there
But I don't want you to

For everytime I let you forward
I start to smell your scent

For everytime I let you forward
I start to feel your presence

For everytime I let you forward
I'm rendered
Silent
Unmoveable

For everytime I let you froward
You haunt me

You linger there
Taunting me
Haunting the darkest corners of
Me