An empty field
I'm all alone.
A king I see
He's going home.
He says I'm free
There is no throne.
Yet I'm encaged
In a cage of thorns.
I've trapped myself
I'm all alone.
Yet I'll break free
And take the throne.
This life of mine
Is all my own.
Yet it can't be me
All alone.
I'll have a family
And build a home.
In an empty field,
No longer alone.

Things are now over
They completely fell apart

Neither of us saw this
Coming at the start

This short lived tragedy
For what else can it be?

Despite that momentary bond
What's there left to see?

One little thing
I blew out of proportion

I know I was in the wrong
But to me it was just so important

How did you expect me to handle it
When you knew how it made me feel?

It seemed like instead of caring about what I said,
You treated it as no big deal

The emotions are still there
For they never fade that quick

It's just you didn't seem to care
So I think it's best to just let the clock tick

I cannot say much
For we have just begun
A rocky start
We're managing to overcome

There's a fragileness about you
One I almost failed to see

How you're so scared of being hurt
Scared to completely open up
Scared to just be

We're all broken in one way or another
Heart torn to pieces by an ex lover
Scared to admit we're no longer the same
It's always much easier to say love is to blame

Feeling worthless, like you got nothing more to give
But there's a fire burning inside you
You just gotta first forgive

Yourself, for being foolish and naive
For not knowing what you wanted
And thus causing you to grieve

You don't realize your charms
And what makes you oh so sweet
And when it comes to other girls
There is no need to compete

And if in the end
Things for us aren't meant to be
Then let it be so
I just want you to know
That every word I've said
Has come from the soul

You deserve to be happy
You deserve to know what love is
It's the most wonderful high
And if I can
Then I'll show you what I think love is

You are unpolished jade
Lackluster
Without a single ounce of shine

Your beauty remains unseen
Covered up from view
Trapped within
Yet ever so present

Let me show what you can be
No, let me show you
What you already are
And have always been

Luminous

I yearn for
The most ordinary
Type of beauty

One that does not
Steal your
Breath away

Or cause your
Heartbeat
To quicken

But one you
Do not
Tire looking at

That garners more
Love and adoration
With the passing
Of time

What is this strange feeling that has fallen over me?
I burn like a demon being touched by a rosary
Yet I dont move away, I continue to suffer
Enduring this pain acting as if it will make me tougher...

I am not fond of photos
Neither taking them
Nor being in them

Their pervasiveness
In everyday life
Has no boundaries

Everything can now be found
Within a photo

Want to capture a beautiful moment?
Photograph it

Want the world to see your lunch?
Photograph it

Want to show off to your friends?
Photograph it

Want to pretend to live a life you don't?
Photograph it

Want to show your weakness, the bane of your life?
You can't photograph it

Want to express that hidden passion within you?
You can't photograph it

Want to express your deeply rooted love for another?
You can't photograph it

A photo is not everything
It is merely a glimpse of a moment

It does not capture the emotion
The flare
The background story behind it

I prefer to write my memories
Re-creating the scene I remembered
Painting a picture with words
So despite others not seeing what I saw
They will feel what I felt at that moment

Words are not friends
Nor do they pretend be
They are a binding pact
An oath poets do
Take

One formed in the hollows
Of breath

In the silence
Of screams

The reverberation
Found in a whisper

It's signing away life
Freedom
Joy

It is abandoning wisdom
In search of ignorance

It is craving understanding
But not truly wishing
To obtain it

Push, push
Push them all away...

Nothing lasts forever
So push them all away...

One by one
All will fade away...

Now you're all alone...
What has really changed?

The fragility that lingers around the relations one has is baffling
Noticing how the so called strong connection you have with another is inherently weak
It lacks strength when compared to a wet piece of paper
It lacks the elasticity found in a rubberband
And when it is shattered
It lacks the feeling of loss that can only be found in heartbreaks

It is the budding rose
Who's life is cut short
By the very roots
That once helped it grow so

I like how we're both a little quirky
And talk in a way that makes us seem a bit dorky
Those photos of yours with that beautiful smile
Ill admit I havent seen one like that in a while
One filled with happiness and bursting with joy
I was honestly shocked to see you're so coy
But I like you for your innocence along with your attitude
It leaves me filled with a deep sense of gratitude
Towards you for allowing me to stand by your side
All I want to say is thank you and continue to smile wide

Im sitting here, awake, at 2:30 in the morning. I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm not happy with who I am. I don't know how to change who I am. Many say you first have to learn to love yourself before you can be truly happy. How? How do you do that? Through the countless articles and videos I've seen, most have a common theme that they follow. Acceptance, peace, zen. These are some of the common ones. But the one that I don't know how I would ever accomplish is letting go. I've never been good with letting go. I hold on to as much as I possibly can. How does one go about letting go? What does that even mean? I know it doesn't mean forgetting. So what does it mean? Its the exact same thing as forgiveness. What does is mean to forgive? What does it mean to love myself and be in peace? Does it mean changing my focus from myself and my own selfish thoughts and worldly desires and begin to see the beauty that lies within the flame of the candle in front of me? The way its pinkish glow that illuminates this otherwise dark room and the mesmerizing aroma that is meant to give you if but a moment of peace. The way the flame dances with the slightest of breeze. And even though it will eventually burn out it fights against all trying to end it. Is this what they mean? To fight back? To not burn too brightly because then you end up self destructing in the most violent of ways, but also making sure not to let yourself get too small because then you might never be able to rise again. But sadly, there doesnt seem to be a constant pace one can follow. It's a constant struggle to just keep your flame going. One wrong move and thats it. Youre done. Why? It seems to pointless, all this worrying and thinking and lack of reacting. It's just all so meaningless. What am I even worrying about? Why do I feel so stressed? I cant even answer these simple questions. And not being able to answer them stresses me out more and fuels my fears. I dont know how long Ill be able to keep fighting or if I already gave up without realizing it. That is really ******* sad.

Towering over me
Like the giants they are
The custodians of wisdom
Of a bygone era
Benevolent sages
Full of life
The keepers of immortality
And the secrets of death

Trust, a simple word that's meaning varies for each individual,
Some trust in the spiritual while others only in their senses and the physical,
Yet this is miniscule when looking deep into you,
Trust is so hard to gain but you achieved it with a glance,
The way your eyes sparkled and the way you held that stance,
I was being pulled in without a care in the world,
Nothing else mattered until I ended up curled,
Sitting down helpless because you had broken my very essense,
I thought you truly cared for me, you had taught me so many lessons,
About how to love and make love and how they go hand in hand,
Yet little did I know you had been deceiving me and that was all part of the plan,
When the truth came out, my world came to a stop,
I was so in shock that I couldnt even shed a tear, not a drop,
You dropped me as if I was a porcelain plate,
You watched me fall until I would break,
Then you left my broken remains scattered across the floor,
You walked away and at that moment I knew that you would need me no more.

I am surrounded by darkness and feel loneliness with me
I guess the only remedy is to wander off to sleep
Where I am free of the shackles that bind me to this fate
One of bitterness and solutide, that screams its much too late
To turn back the hands of time, I guess it must be fate
So instead of fighting back, I'll lay my head to rest and choose to never wake

We deal with our demons in silence
Because we've never been taught how to deal with our faults
Then one day we erupt with violence
That ends in tragedy with an unforgettable cost

Ive got some issues that nobody can see
I keep them buried deep inside of me
Deep in the recesses of my heart and soul
Which as far as I can remember has always been cold
There is no flame to produce some warmth
And so on this journey I have set forth
I do not know what I may find
In this journey across my mind
I just hope that I can free
What I've buried deep inside of me

I fought for your honor and I lost
Not truly aware of what I lost
If I had known of the cost
Perhaps I would've never taken the chance and entered the fray
A choice that would prove fruitless at the end of the day
For I was not the one who caught the twinkle of your eye,
I was not the knight in shining armor but just a regular guy,
One who's head was full of too many fables and fairytales,
Of how that one little spark will lead to marriage, well...
In the end it turned out to be nothing like I dreamed,
My reality was flipped and all was not as it seemed.
I mean how could I believe that a guy like me could be with a gal like yourself?
Im merely some dust covered object while youre the prize on the shelf.

So many people tell me that they love me
But why do I interpret the beauty they see as ugly?
What do they find in me that's so endearing
That despite what I do and say all that they're hearing
Are my pleas for help, my cries for salvation
From this eternal hell, from being cast to damnation
Instead of walking away and disappearing from the wreck that I am
They choose to stick around and instead offer a helping hand
Bringing joy into my life, so that I may feel blessed
Now instead of loads of strife, I can take a needed rest
I can drop down these walls I've erected due to fear
And bring those friends close to me, and forever hold them near

I tried to think about myself as a sacrifice
As a means to help out others with the twists of life
Sacrificing my own joy and happiness as a means to set them free
Only to find out the only one still in a cage would be me
Shackled by all these chains weighing over me
This is not how I thought my life was supposed to be
Did I truly pursue a path of liberation
Or was I blinded by the truth until I reached this revelation
That the only way to be free is to free myself
That in this life there won't always be someone ready to help
You must depend on yourself not on somebody else
For that is truly the only path to get out this living hell

She came down from above
Illuminating the darkness
A splendor unseen
With a soft glow around her
Unlike the scorching heat
Reminiscent of the sun
Hers was accepting and kind
Peaceful and still
Cool to the touch
Like the waters of a calm lake
Capturing the hearts
Of all who saw her
One suitor after another
Attempted to rope her in
Make her their own
Attempting to sway her heart
With whispers of sweet nothings
Yet she was forever out of reach
Steadfast in her solitude
Gaze steady
Eyes pure without the slightest hint
Of regret

Poetry

A foolish endeavor
Pursued when young

An attempt
At understanding
The beauty that
Exists around us

That is us

Contemplating
That which is good
And that which is evil

And finding difficulty
In discerning
Between both

Discovering
The fruits
Of life
Do not allow one
To simply
Grasp its secrets

The truth is hidden
Shrouded in
A veil
Of complexities
And half truths

Some we inevitably
Create ourselves
In the pursuit
Of knowledge

If you could see me now
You'd recognize me
In a heartbeat

You'd recognize this act
As a facade
A way of hiding the scar
That never truly healed

Despite the years
And all the changes
The events that
Changed our lives
For better or worse

All peel back
Bit by bit
Turning me into that
Naive innocent kid
Once more

All those defences
I've put up
All come crumbling down
Bit by bit
Piece by piece

In front of you
They amount to nothing
No ungodly force
Capable of stopping you

Stopping what you represent
That image forever ingrained
In my heart and mind

The culmination of love
Pain, joy, commitment
And all those emotions
That make the foundation
Of a relationship

One we never had
One we never will
Yet the standard I use
When it comes to others

You
Someone I never had
Have set the bar
For all that I shall have
In the future

So far not one
Has met that standard

Maybe it's just me
Or the standard
Is much too high

All I know
Is that it's lonely
Up here

Drinking alone
In this bar
So high off the ground

Won't you join me
One last time?

Every day had started to become achromic,
There is no joy left to be gained from it,
No matter how scripturient I may be,
At one point I shall run out of creativity,
Everything I see is now in black and white,
I dont even see the brilliance in a moonlit night,
The petals of the rose have all started to wilt,
Leaving my tarnished soul with this feeling of guilt

Words are a luxury
I am choosing not to spend
Loosely on you

Not because you're
Not worth it
But because I do not
Wish for them to lose
Their touch
Their impact
Their heart

I want every word
I write in your honor
In your memory
To be full of life
Love, joy

And the occasional
Sorrow
Not to cause you pain
But to help you overcome it

To bring a smile to your face
Not one that stuns the world
With its brilliance
But a simple one
Lingering at the corner of your lips
Showing satisfaction
Fulfillment
Wholehearted acceptance
From my heart to yours

The time will never
Be right
Nor can it ever be
For time does not
Dictate what occurs
Or will occur
Merely records it
In passing

In the midst of all my pain and anguish, you were there to break my fall
When I felt lonely and abandoned, you chose to stand out amongst them all
You chose not to force your way in, but waited until there was no more wall
And if it wasnt for what you did, I dont know if I'd be standing here at all

In this day and age
Where love is fleeting
And partners changed out
Faster than a pair
Of ***** underwear

Where everything is
As ephemeral
As the beauty of a flower
Dewdrop lingering on
At the edge of a petal

I wish to show you
A love that's timeless
Encompassing
A lifetime's worth of love
In every single moment
In an attempt to be closer
To a love that's everlasting

Everything is now
A shade of gray
The vibrancy that once existed
Gone
Every action made
Without thought
For the thoughts
Have run wild
Creating their own world
Off memory
Separate from reality

Blank face
With no expression
Eyes lifeless and dull
Heart full of pain
Body moving off
Instinct alone
Mind stuck in a
Pit of quicksand
Spine broken due
To carrying
The weight of the world
On shoulders
Feet cut, swollen, and bruised
After walking over
Scorching gravel
Full of broken glass
All in the hopes
Of finding peace
Comfort after pain
A closure to the suffering
Yet no end
Is ever in sight

I cannot draw
At least not the way others do
I cannot find peace
Or a piece of me
In the stroke of a brush

The image in my head
Has never realized itself on paper
Instead of a masterpiece
It's a monstrosity
Something to avert your gaze from
Just like its creator

So instead
I choose to paint with words
Creating imagery so vivid
You cannot help but feel
As though you're truly there

Showing you the beauty of the rose
And the cherry blossoms
As their petals drift in the wind
Because while the fruit may one day grow
It does not fall far from the tree
And while the petal may soon wilt
It will get a taste
Of what it means to truly be free

Or telling you of the stories
Of those initials carved
On that one park bench
Some everlasting
While others drifting in the wind
Yet the bench shall always remember
The love and care
That ephemeral joy
In the hollows of its skin

For everything has a story
And everything has a past
And so I chose the pen over the brush
In the hopes of painting my own story
Creating an image so stunning
It will be carved in memory
For a lifetime to come

Poetry

A foolish endeavor
Pursued when young

An attempt
At understanding
The beauty that
Exists around us

That is us

Contemplating
That which is good
And that which is evil

And finding difficulty
In discerning
Between both

Discovering
The fruits
Of life
Do not allow one
To simply
Grasp its secrets

The truth is hidden
Shrouded in
A veil
Of complexities
And half truths

Some we inevitably
Create ourselves
In the pursuit
Of knowledge

We've played this game a thousand times
And laid to waste a thousand rhymes
The heart cant take these fracture lines
And may just break before our prime

So before this gets out of hand
And we're forced to fall and no longer stand
Lets part our ways on this piece of land
And let faith show what it has planned

We started off strong but now things are going south
I mean nothing's gone wrong, nothing bad's come out our mouth
But the way we interact, it kinda lost its touch
Well to be completely honest, it was never really there that much
Theres that lack of passion and soft spoken words
We'd probably show more emotion if we were talking to birds
We rushed this when we shouldve taken it slowly
Maybe we just no longer wanted to feel lonely
So we took the first chance we got and in a way we kinda blew it
Every step is important, from the first impression to the point of confession,
But instead we just rushed through it
Not really getting to know each other or what we're about,
Instead we just jumped right in without a single doubt
And now people are talking about the pasts we never mentioned
Because we linked up not long after the first impression
And now doubts are arising in both of our hearts
If this was a good idea and thats where it starts
Where it starts to fall apart and come undone
Where we both decide to not lay as one
Because we were both way in over our heads when we decided this
Lest we run the risk of making empty promises

There is no such thing as fine poetry
Poetry does not equate to fine wine
While you may revel in the sweetness of antiquity
Marveling at the brilliance of Shakespare, Marcus Aurelius, and Keats
That does not mean you'll taste bitterness in the back of your mouth
When indulging oneself in the works of poets like Akala, Grieves, or Kid Cudi
Also more widely known as "rappers"

How does one fail to see the beauty and the poetic essence found in their stunning elocution?
Rap is nothing more than poetry over beat
It is thoughts turned vocal following the rhythm of the heart
Both working in cadence with one another
Thus giving birth to art

I am a vicious combination of too many wrongs and too few rights.
I am a toxic mixture of hatred and depression that will leave you sick to your stomach.
I am the acid that melts castles to the ground, and unfortunately, I am what melted those castles together in the first place.
I am weak cement and crumble under pressure.
I am everything I wish I wasn't.
And my greatest fear is becoming more self-aware.

That weapon in your mouth
Holds more power
Than you could ever
Possibly fathom

The projectiles
Blasting out
At the speed of sound

Ricocheting off the walls
Until it hits
Its intended target

Putting another dent
In the armor
Guarding their heart

On the brink of falling apart
After enduring countless
Hard fought battles

Creating an inherent fear
Making them weary
Of those who surround them

Causing them to always
Keep their weapon loaded
Ready to hurl hateful words
At the drop of a dime

Shooting down friend after friend
Breaking heart after heart
Losing yourself on the battlefield
Until you are no more

Creating a thick skin
Hard exterior soft interior
Barring entry from all
For fear of that weapon
We carry in our mouths

If you could see me now
You'd recognize me
In a heartbeat

You'd recognize this act
As a façade
A way of hiding the scar
That never truly healed

Despite the years
And all the changes
The events that
Changed our lives
For better or worse

All peel back
Bit by bit
Turning me into that
Naive innocent kid
Once more

All those defences
I've put up
All come crumbling down
Bit by bit
Piece by piece

In front of you
They amount to nothing
No ungodly force
Capable of stopping you

Stopping what you represent
That image forever ingrained
In my heart and mind

The culmination of love
Pain, joy, commitment
And all those emotions
That make the foundation
Of a relationship

One we never had
One we never will
Yet the standard I use
When it comes to others

You
Someone I never had
Have set the bar
For all that I shall have
In the future

So far not one
Has met that standard

Maybe it's just me
Or the standard you set
Is much too high

All I know
Is that it's lonely
Up here

Drinking alone
In this bar
So high off the ground

Won't you join me
One last time?

You, a spring meadow
Bringing life with every step you take.
Flowers come to life when you smile.
The birds chirp alongside your laughter.
Your scent in sync with the pines.
Every word you speak reverberating across infinity.
You are the quintessence of life
Wrapped inside a mortal frame.

You deserve the world
But all I can offer you
Is this page filled with words