Anonymous Nobody

Anonymous Nobody Apr 2022

The thought that I might never know the feeling of being loved in that way makes me want to leave this skin behind.
It makes me want to crawl into the body of a more desirable creature just to know what it must be like.
At times, the feeling of wanting to give this love inside of me to someone becomes so overwhelming, I am left with nothing to do except let it spill from my arms into the floor around me.
For someone with such limited options, perhaps I shouldn’t be so picky.
Perhaps I should settle for a love I don’t deserve.
I am restless in the night as I caress my own body pretending they were the arms of someone else.
I am helpless in the evenings as I twirl in the kitchen around the ghost of a person who I might’ve loved in another world.
I am a loveless being with nothing but love to give, and nothing but these words to show for it.

love is easy, but loving is hard

Anonymous Nobody Apr 2022

time marches inevitably

I know now why time seems to be passing me by.
Why I look at the calendar in horror as I realize the date.
I live in my mind
and
In my mind I am home.
I am not here.
I am on a twisted 9 month vacation, but I can go home as soon as it’s over.
I can finally rest my bones in the place I always knew to be home.
But I can’t.
This is home now.
I am not here because I am still in the past.
I am still pretending to be the person I was last summer.
And that person is gone.
Just like my home and just like the time I have spent reminiscing about it.
It’s time to live.

college was not supposed to go this way

Anonymous Nobody Jan 2020

I'm happy you're happy

I always believed that I was
too ******* you

Throwing the ice cold bucket of truth
Into your beautiful face

It pained me more than you know
To tell you things as they were

But it hurt a thousand times worse
To see you show them kindness

I heard conversations you never did
Words sharp as knives from those closest to you

I knew I was pushing you away
As I told you the truth

But to see you now,
Happy and alive without those
Sorry excuses for humans

, although I may not be there either,

Makes me happier than you’ll ever know

Anonymous Nobody Dec 2019

This one's to you

You probably think
I only keep you in the back of my mind.
There for those times when everyone has left
and I'm looking for some time to ****
during those restless nights.

But you'd never know
The pride I feel swell up inside my chest
when I think about just how much we've been through
despite the distance.

You somehow manage to show me the beauty
in the little things I do.
And for that, I'm grateful.

You've thanked me for my existence more times than I can count.
And no matter how many poems I write.
No matter how many books I read.
No matter how many languages I learn.
There aren't words to describe that cozy summery feeling
that flows over me when I realize that my existence
means something to you.

You've brought out the best in me.
You've given me a safe place where I can express my irrational
emotions.
Where I can make sense of this new world I'm being thrown into.
You are the safe closet I hide in to escape the realities I'm facing.

My only regret
is that I couldn't be that for you.

I write for you.
It seems selfish to believe that you would want to read
every thought I had.
But I don't mind being called selfish anymore
I know my reasons,
and I hope you'll take the time to understand them.

Anonymous Nobody Oct 2019

Now that you're gone

Now that you’re gone,
I realized something

When I found you,
You were conveniently in the place
That I wanted to call home.

But now that you’re gone
And you’re no longer in that place
Where I once found you

I realized
That it wasn’t the place that made me
Want to call it home.
It was you.

although i know our friendship was something like no other, i think it might be time to part ways

#home #is #where #your #people #are

Anonymous Nobody Oct 2019

burning out

They say you can't fight fire with fire

but when the fire is the only thing

warming a cold heart,

is it okay that I don't mind the flames?

#lonely #fire

Anonymous Nobody Oct 2019

flickering scenes

how can i heal in the same place i hurt

maybe a change in scenery

will allow old wounds the space to mend

space and time are seeming concepts

that my life revolves around.

so why should it make a difference?

it makes all the difference.

someone get me out of here.

what brings me back to this quiet place when the noise deafens me