I guess it could go either way, right?
I stand in the middle of two evils
they both lead to my demise,
but
i cant seem to see that

i always believed that i paved the roads i walked on.
must be why the only thing ahead of me
is the backroads.

it seems i've made it to an impasse

you ask me why I look towards the sky.
I hope to see you there.
you are the scars in my sky.
The white slashes that decorate them.
These beautiful man made machines
they are what can take me to you.
that is why I look to the sky.

I've got an assignment.
Alone for an hour outside.
No music
No phone
No family
Nothing

The loneliness takes pieces of my being.
She takes it in her cruel hands and throws it to the ground as a child throws an undesired toy back into a sea of discarded dreams.
The lovechild who always seems to be clinging to my side.
When I feel she's gone and off to college,
something brings her back asking for gas money.

But what am I to do?
This is something of my own making.
The worst ones always tend to be, don't they?

“I want to be famous.”
Is what I used to tell my parents.

“Why?”
They’d ask.

“So people will love me”

Now that is partly true,
Who doesn’t want to be accepted and loved by those around them?

But

I have something else to say.

I don’t only long for the people to love me.
I long to stand up for the people who don’t know they’re being taken advantage of.
I want to open people’s eyes.

To show them that there is more to life than
work, or politics, or who’s dating who, or what the **** the Kardashians are wearing today.
There’s beauty in everything, but the media blinds.

I had lost my vision for a while.
I’m slowly recovering.

I used to think of material things.
Superficialities.

Now I think of how stunning the way the light reflects off of the brightly colored walls of my room.
I think of how sad it makes me to see trash littering my city’s roads.
I think of my friends on the other side of the world who are doing their own, normal, mundane, beautiful things the very moment I am laying my head down to rest.
I think of injustices being shoved into innocent faces.
I think of my future and what I plan to do about it.

but I think that little parts of me,
Still wish to be loved, no matter how cruel I know this world to be.