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Anonymous Nobody Apr 2022
The thought that I might never know the feeling of being loved in that way makes me want to leave this skin behind.
It makes me want to crawl into the body of a more desirable creature just to know what it must be like.
At times, the feeling of wanting to give this love inside of me to someone becomes so overwhelming, I am left with nothing to do except let it spill from my arms into the floor around me.
For someone with such limited options, perhaps I shouldn’t be so picky.
Perhaps I should settle for a love I don’t deserve.
I am restless in the night as I caress my own body pretending they were the arms of someone else.
I am helpless in the evenings as I twirl in the kitchen around the ghost of a person who I might’ve loved in another world.
I am a loveless being with nothing but love to give, and nothing but these words to show for it.
love is easy, but loving is hard
Anonymous Nobody Apr 2022
I know now why time seems to be passing me by.
Why I look at the calendar in horror as I realize the date.
I live in my mind
and
In my mind I am home.
I am not here.
I am on a twisted 9 month vacation, but I can go home as soon as it’s over.
I can finally rest my bones in the place I always knew to be home.
But I can’t.
This is home now.
I am not here because I am still in the past.
I am still pretending to be the person I was last summer.
And that person is gone.
Just like my home and just like the time I have spent reminiscing about it.
It’s time to live.
college was not supposed to go this way
Anonymous Nobody Jan 2020
I always believed that I was
too ******* you

Throwing the ice cold bucket of truth
Into your beautiful face

It pained me more than you know
To tell you things as they were

But it hurt a thousand times worse
To see you show them kindness

I heard conversations you never did
Words sharp as knives from those closest to you

I knew I was pushing you away
As I told you the truth

But to see you now,
Happy and alive without those
Sorry excuses for humans

, although I may not be there either,

Makes me happier than you’ll ever know
Anonymous Nobody Dec 2019
You probably think
I only keep you in the back of my mind.
There for those times when everyone has left
and I'm looking for some time to ****
during those restless nights.

But you'd never know
The pride I feel swell up inside my chest
when I think about just how much we've been through
despite the distance.

You somehow manage to show me the beauty
in the little things I do.
And for that, I'm grateful.

You've thanked me for my existence more times than I can count.
And no matter how many poems I write.
No matter how many books I read.
No matter how many languages I learn.
There aren't words to describe that cozy summery feeling
that flows over me when I realize that my existence
means something to you.

You've brought out the best in me.
You've given me a safe place where I can express my irrational
emotions.
Where I can make sense of this new world I'm being thrown into.
You are the safe closet I hide in to escape the realities I'm facing.

My only regret
is that I couldn't be that for you.
I write for you.
It seems selfish to believe that you would want to read
every thought I had.
But I don't mind being called selfish anymore
I know my reasons,
and I hope you'll take the time to understand them.
Anonymous Nobody Oct 2019
Now that you’re gone,
I realized something

When I found you,
You were conveniently in the place
That I wanted to call home.

But now that you’re gone
And you’re no longer in that place
Where I once found you

I realized
That it wasn’t the place that made me
Want to call it home.
It was you.
although i know our friendship was something like no other, i think it might be time to part ways
Anonymous Nobody Oct 2019
They say you can't fight fire with fire

but when the fire is the only thing

warming a cold heart,

is it okay that I don't mind the flames?
Anonymous Nobody Oct 2019
how can i heal in the same place i hurt

maybe a change in scenery

will allow old wounds the space to mend

space and time are seeming concepts

that my life revolves around.

so why should it make a difference?

it makes all the difference.

someone get me out of here.
what brings me back to this quiet place when the noise deafens me
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