I kissed someone last night
But something was off
Her lips pressed against mine
We made it clear that it was platonic
But the whole time
I was thinking of him
The sound of his voice
When he talks about something he loves
The way he curses when he drops his trombone
His laugh
His sigh
I don't think I've ever liked a girl
I kissed someone last night
And it was so, so wrong.

i let him read my poetry
as he flipped through the pages,
i hoped
he wouldn't recognize
the ones i wrote about him

Soft, dark ringlets,
Scattered across your brow.
Your hands covered in trinkets
And holding a soft linen gown.

A crooked smile on your face
And deep dark eyes ablaze.
You, with the tie of lace,
The greatest thing to gaze.

i don't like myself
at all
i hate my body

i hate the was my stomach sticks out
when i sit
i hate the way my feminine structure looks
while wearing normal ****
i hate the way the skin
on my thighs sag
i hate the way i cover my body
with everything
anything i can find
because i'm not okay
i hate my body

there was a boy
who was nothing but ink
he would speak
and words would

f
            a
l
            l

out from his mouth
words that nobody wanted to hear
because he said too much
people don't want to know him
anymore

i'm breathing fast
i'm seeing the past
things i don't want to remember
hit me like a blast

anxiety rising
breath denying
i'm hearing their words
i feel like i'm dying

their words hit me like a stab
i crunch like a crab
that they stepped on
i feel a jab

words bleed out of my chest
as i remember what i don't want to
i'm not ready
wait... just let me

try
to
forget