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 Jul 2016 Nicole
Theresa Marie
Made love to the puddles
Formed by imaginary friends
Imaginary rain clouded minds
Imaginary people
Imaginary boundaries
Keeping ones heart away
Ripping
Tearing
Bursting at the seams

Water pours into a glass
A pessimistic stream
Filled to the brim
But claims a half empty life
Uncovering skeletons
Digging up a half buried knife

A body a waterfall
Pressurized, cascading
A river of consciousness
Floodgates, brainwaves
High tide, kisses the shore
Like clasping clammy hands
Nervous souls
Too afraid to try
Too afraid to dive
Not afraid to die
 Nov 2015 Nicole
The Flipped Word
One day I'll  over analyze to the stage of delirium
Hopefully that day is near
At least then I won't have to think of you
 Nov 2015 Nicole
R
15w
 Nov 2015 Nicole
R
15w
help me to forgive myself
I just want to love
I just want to love
saw something i can't erase from my memory
yet it's physically deleted from yours.
now there is no proof of your infidelity
besides my word.
you make excuses and tell me to keep quiet
not to start something over nothing.
what is nothing to you
is a lot of something to me.
you care more about the feelings of another
than you do about mine.
you lie to others about our relationship
you act as if you don't love me
as if you will leave me
but the second i say i will leave you
you are crying, with more excuses.
this is an all too familiar road for me
and i refuse to go down it again.
so many tears and excuses now
i could drown in them.
you still fight to keep toxic things
in your life.
you still fight to keep me content
by your side.
what your reasons are
i will never understand.
you never really loved me
you don't know what love is.
i will find a way to expose you both.
the last laugh will be mine.
they will never know what hit them
My shadow turns and run, I'm left trying to catch up with it. I'm feeling quite shy, out of place, like I don't quite belong with the world outside. I want to hide, bury my face in a pillow, not be bothered with by anyone. I want to feel a part of but where can I go that I can also remain invisible. I'd rather be by myself than take the chance, too much hurt and pain has me at a glance. I try reaching out for help but I'm left by myself, wondering if life is even worth going the extra mile. I hope things are okay but is it worth the while. I feel like I need a doctor, someone to put the pieces together, lock me up so I don't run away, and be indignant of others who were always there for me. There was my family, they tried to help but never really understood me. There were my friends, they thought I was seeking attention which was more of the truth. Society, who liked to make fun and ridicule me. Through it all I came out the other side still confused and losing my mind but it's not so much what I feel inside but what I do about it, trying to forget myself and help someone else out.
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