24-72: Your internal organs decomposed
3-5: your very body started to bloat and blood containing foam leaked from your mouth and nose
8-10: you turned into your least favourite colour-red.

See, I'm trynna understand how I feel about you
I've learnt to love you the same way I've learnt to embrace my dark days.
It's fine until someone asks, 'Where is your dad?'
I smile and tell them you're late
You should see how their eyes lit up when I tell them,' it's fine, that it's okay'
They look dissatisfied
Like I'm supposed to cry talking about you
Like the loneliness In me should scream for comfort
Like the pride in me should shrink into nothingness
Like this heart should only beat for you
Like these hands should remind me that you once lived- existed, laughed and loved
Like I'm not complete without you
Like I cannot be the spitting image of you without trying to manifest my individuality
Like I'm supposed to shiver to the very thought of our memories.
Am I supposed to feel something?
Ain't I complete?
Ain't I a heroine?
Tell them
Didn't I carry my cross? Took all stones thrown at me and never asked for help?
Didn't I blossom into spring after you withered like leaves into autumn?
Didn't I carry my head up- shining into sunset?
You tell them!
Tell them not to feel sorry for me!
See, this life is crazy, love is fragile and good days don't last. So, it's okay...
It's more soothing knowing you're up there than down here...
So I figure, if my mother, the love of your life survived your fall, then maybe I, will survive the presence of your absence
I figure, loving you will not heal me but it will hold my heart the day I find the courage to heal myself
They say they're sorry for my loss
Loss?
No
I never lost you, you're not dead to me,
All we ever needed was time
That's all we lost...
So,Rest in me

I called
Ten, eleven times
You didn't pick up but you're right
I should've tried again
Tried again even though every unanswered phone call broke a piece of me
****** the life out of me

Where were you?

Do you know the waves i dived trying to get to you?
Do you know the hell I had to put up with?
The fears I had to face?
The tears I cried hoping you'd hear my agony and turn around?
Do you know how a vow from you tormented my existence?
You let me down
You said a man can be trusted and a father can stay

You lied

I just wanna know why you left
Why you're still not here
Is that fine?

On my worst days
I'm a mess
On my best days
I'm a terrible mess
Most of the time
I'm a gracefully shattered soup bowl,

I'm a wonderful mess
Glorified mess
Confident mess
I'm 'gonna show them what I got' mess
I'm 'Better days are coming' mess
I'm a mess with a hope,

Ideas, I'm an innovative mess
I'm a lonely mess
'i don't know who I am' mess
I'm a lost mess
I'm a proud mess
You should see me
I walk bodly, keep my head up, strut about like I was America's first model
I embrace the mess that I am
Because this mess is a
Friend, daughter, student, leader
This mess is a lover, partner, ride or die
This mess is imperfectly perfect
This mess makes mistakes
Has regrets
But this mess will never give up...
Truth is , I'm not even a mess anymore
I'm just a shattered clay,
BrokenSoup bowl
My Potter's touch failed me...