Thicket of Thoughts: Poems

913 · Feb 2018

{Us}

Thicket of Thoughts Feb 2018

{Us}

I'm thinking of something
Of a smile
Of a kiss
Of a boy

I'm thinking of you
In all the best ways
You make me smile
More than I ever thought I would

And trust me
Your smile is
Cute and flirtatious too

I am in love
With every part
Of you

I know it doesn't count, so neither does this one.

#love #soul #kiss #happy #wonderful #flirtatious

909 · Jan 2018

Passive Aggressive Love Poems

Thicket of Thoughts Jan 2018

Passive Aggressive Love Poems

There's a new
Girl that your into
I worry for her
Because I know that
You'll let her get attached
And you'll promise her your heart
But you'll still be writing poetry about me

I wonder why you
Think of me so often
When we both know
That you're trying to
Win the heart of another

Are we destined to
Write passive aggressive
Love poems to each
Other forever?

I wonder...

803 · Jan 2018

Radio Silence

Thicket of Thoughts Jan 2018

Radio Silence

I am the listener
Of this broken radio
The one that only
Produces silence

There's nothing coming
Through my speakers
Besides that quiet hum
That happens when
There's nothing but

Radio Silence

That's what I'm getting right now
I deserve this

Radio Silence

Since Maybe listening to my thoughts
Is similar to standing in a snow storm Had it not blowing the
Antenna off the roof
Threw a car three blocks down Maybe someone would like the snow

Radio Silence

Forgive me for I am the snowstorm
And it's affecting my heart in a way it
Shouldn't be because now
I'm the one that has
To listen to this

Radio Silence

It's all I can hear now
I wonder if I'll ever hear
Anything else besides the quiet Buzzing that is coming
Through my speakers

Radio Silence

785 · Mar 2018

N u m b

Thicket of Thoughts Mar 2018

N u m b

P h y s i c a l l y  T o u c h  M e  A n d
I t s  I n s t a n t  E l e c t r i c i t y
T r y  T o  T o u c h  M y  M i n d  A n d
I t s  I n s t a n t  S t a t i c
T r y  T o  G e t  M e  T o  F e e l  A n d
Y o u ' l l  F i n d  N o t h i n g

B e c a u s e  I  A m A̶̷̸m̶̷̸b̶̷̸e̶̷̸r̶̷̸

̶P̶h̶y̶s̶i̶c̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶T̶o̶u̶c̶h̶ ̶M̶e̶ ̶A̶n̶d̶
̶W̶a̶t̶c̶h̶ ̶M̶e̶ ̶S̶h̶y̶ ̶W̶a̶y̶
̶T̶r̶y̶ ̶T̶o̶ ̶T̶o̶u̶c̶h̶ ̶M̶y̶ ̶M̶i̶n̶d̶ ̶A̶n̶d̶
̶W̶a̶t̶c̶h̶ ̶M̶e̶ ̶C̶h̶a̶n̶g̶e̶
̶T̶r̶y̶ ̶T̶o̶ ̶G̶e̶t̶ ̶M̶e̶ ̶T̶o̶ ̶F̶e̶e̶l̶ ̶A̶n̶d̶
̶Y̶o̶u̶'̶l̶l̶ ̶B̶e̶ ̶O̶v̶e̶r̶w̶h̶e̶l̶m̶e̶d̶ ̶

̶B̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶I̶ ̶A̶m̶ ̶ O̶̷̸c̶̷̸t̶̷̸o̶̷̸b̶̷̸e̶̷̸r̶̷̸

PHYSICALLY TOUCH ME AND
YOU'LL SEE MY FIST
TRY TO TOUCH MY MIND AND
YOU'LL RUN AWAY IN FEAR
TRY TO GET ME TO FEEL AND
YOU'LL SEE WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE

BECAUSE I AM S̶̷̸T̶̷̸E̶̷̸L̶̷̸L̶̷̸A̶̷̸

Physically touch me and
Be ready for to much love
Try to touch my mind and
Be ready to cry a little
Try to get me to feel and
You'll watch me feel nothing

Because I am S̶̷̸t̶̷̸e̶̷̸p̶̷̸h̶̷̸a̶̷̸n̶̷̸i̶̷̸e̶̷̸
And I am Numb

I'm fine actually. I don't feel anything and its great really.

715 · Aug 2018

The last rose

Thicket of Thoughts Aug 2018

The last rose

Sharp thorns,
A small trickle of blood on
Delicate rose petals,
A thunderstorm to
Take away the memory
Of your lips
From two nights ago,
Your hand in mine
Let's run away
Before it all ends

683 · Jun 2019

The things I know about him

Thicket of Thoughts Jun 2019

The things I know about him

His favorite color is grey
He tells me I'm beautiful
He has a strong love for the sea
His favorite food is sushi
He tells me all the small things he loves about me
He said "I love you" first

He wants to wake up to me in his arms
And do the ***** things he imagines
He smiles at me as I talk to him about the current book I'm reading
I think he might really love me

He asked me to take an adventure with him
One that's a year long
To a place where he says he can have both the things he loves
Me and the ocean

It feels natural to tell him
That I love him too

677 · Jul 2018

October's Autumn Leaves

Thicket of Thoughts Jul 2018

October's Autumn Leaves

Painted in hues of grey
a bluff that reaches down into
rainbow colored waters

Wind whipping through
dark strands of auburn hair
crashing into brushed tones of bright blue

Jagged shades of opal
striking in the orange twilight
impaled into dark teal palms

A heart pulsing blue
splatters the floor with flowers
There is beauty even in death

561 · Aug 2018

*Noise*

Thicket of Thoughts Aug 2018

*Noise*

i am afraid to breathe
i am afraid to think
i am afraid to feel.

i can hear myself breathing
its almost suffocating.

i wish the battle in my mind
would come to a ceasefire
so that i could stop drowning
in my thoughts.

506 · Dec 2017

Fire

Thicket of Thoughts Dec 2017

Fire

I was consumed by him
  it felt like inhaling smoke
    the more I tried to breathe
the more I just breathe him in
  for my love was like fire
    it consumed everything it touched
but he was the one who took my
  match
    and smothered out its flame
so now I'm left to only inhale smoke
  I am a girl with smoke filled lungs
    and a dying ember for a heart

467 · Mar 2018

Stop Thinking

Thicket of Thoughts Mar 2018

Stop Thinking

Breathe in . . . . . . . . . . Breathe out
Breathe in . . . . . . . . Breathe out
Breathe in . . . . . .Breathe out
Breathe in . . . . Breathe out
Breathe in . . Breathe out
Breathe in Breathe out
BeatheinBreatheout

Just Breathe...

I want you to remember to breathe
Because things go on
And they get better

423 · Dec 2017

Lost Souls

Thicket of Thoughts Dec 2017

Lost Souls

I have scorched lips
Ashes in my hair
And burns on my arms
I did this to myself
I saw the fire raging
In your soul and wished
To be apart of it
I didn't think about
The pain you'd cause
I only though about your soul
And how it matched mine.

I reached for your hand
And you pulled away
Claiming that you'd only hurt me
But I thought that
I could withstand the pain
I reached again and this time
You pulled me into your arms
Desperatly wanting to feel wanted
I kissed you with such fiercity
That it scorched my lips
And left them chapped
You pulled me closer scared
That id run away
when in the end
It was you
That ran

I didn't think my heart would scare you.

372 · Dec 2017

Its Raining

Thicket of Thoughts Dec 2017

Its Raining

Cold hard drops of rain
It makes me think of you
  I stood in the rain until I couldn't take the cold anymore
It's like cold hands on hot skin
But with rain and already cold skin
   It felt great because I'm cold
Emotionally cold
I can't function correctly right now
  Because my mind refuses to get off the subject of you
Its like my mind is stuck in a constant loop
Cold rain
  On cold skin
    Sad and refreshing
        At the same time.

350 · Dec 2017

Where I'm From

Thicket of Thoughts Dec 2017

Where I'm From

I am from a broken home,
Though it never felt fractured
I am from smiling faces, and sad hearts.
I am from classical music and tough boys,
Always finding things to break
I am from loud people, stubborn with opinions.
I am from piles of autumn leaves,
Jumping in with little hands and little feet
I am from rivers full of living things, and rope swings.
I am from multiple houses,
Always filled with laughing children
I am from gravel roads, and one way streets.
I am from mud pies,
Made with love from little girls
I am of potions, made of grass and glitter.
I am from multiple siblings,
Though I am an only child
I am of the willow tree, healing and holy.
I am from the space between loving arms,
Where I ran when frightened
I am from gravel roads, and one way streets.
I am from a thicket of flowers,
From which my name comes
I am of cold morning air, brisk in my lungs.
I am of leaves and dirt,
still and motionless in time and memory
I am from no light, but the starry sky.
I am of dancing feet,
that belong to the people of the waters that never still
I am of the moon, dark and calm.
I am from towns filled with people,
But not one soul who knew me
I am from gravel roads, and one way streets.
I am from laughter and courage,
Things I always want with me
I am from quiet early morning conversations.
I am from love and happiness,
Friends who will never leave my side
I am of the stars, from which the constellation I was born.
I am from things that no longer make sense,
Though they never did
I am from a wooden castle.
I am from myself,
The person I want to be
I am from hidden passageways.
I am from cold nights and bonfires,
My aunt was always the fun one
I am from gravel roads, and one way streets.
I am from crystal and earth,
Coarse as the wind flows
I am from sacred towers.
I am from the sea,
Deep and always flowing
I am from nothing.
I am from sad things and shoe strings,
That intertwine as one
I am from the little things.
I am from brittle glass and scorched earth,
Once renewed are beautiful
I am from a dying tree.
I am from old towns,
No longer filled with people
I am from gravel roads and one way streets.
I am from closed doors,
Though new ones always open
I am from life itself.

I wrote this in a creative writing class but I love it.

326 · Aug 2018

As the clock ticks...

Thicket of Thoughts Aug 2018

As the clock ticks...

I realize now that
I might have wasted some of my
Precious time
Trying to rewrite
The stars and change
Constellations
Into a love story
That was never fated
To last

315 · Mar 2018

Me of You..

Thicket of Thoughts Mar 2018

Me of You..

If I have to leave you
With something before I go
I will leave you with this

When it rains
Let it remind you of me

Let the sound of rain falling
onto a tin roof
Remind you of the times when we would
try to sing louder than the thunder roaring
in the sky above

Let the feeling of cold rain
Washing down your face
Remind you of the times we danced
In the cold showers that came in early spring

Let the yellow street lights
Remind you of the times when
We took long walks in the rain to
Talk about all the little things

Let the rain
Be a reminder of all
The good things that came with me
When I entered your life

Let the rain
Remind you of me

Because it reminds
Me of You...

For all the people I left behind.

293 · Jan 2018

A Poem From A Past Love

Thicket of Thoughts Jan 2018

A Poem From A Past Love

If my love were a light,
there would be no dark
                                                                                       Until infinity ends
If my love were a wall,
it would be unbroken, unmovable,
and forever standing
                                                                                    From heaven to hell
If my love were a history,
it would be unknowable & beyond
understanding
                                                                               To the moon and back
If my love were a song,
it would be a perfect masterpiece,
only played for you
                                                            Because nothing else matters
And it's all about us.

Y̶o̶u̶ ̶w̶r̶o̶t̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶p̶o̶e̶m̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶m̶e̶ ̶s̶o̶ ̶l̶o̶n̶g̶ ̶a̶g̶o̶ ̶I̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶g̶o̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶I̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶n̶ ̶h̶a̶d̶ ̶i̶t̶.̶ ̶R̶e̶a̶d̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶r̶e̶m̶i̶n̶d̶s̶ ̶m̶e̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶g̶o̶o̶d̶ ̶t̶i̶m̶e̶s̶ ̶w̶e̶ ̶h̶a̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶g̶e̶t̶h̶e̶r̶.̶ ̶I̶'̶m̶ ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y̶ ̶d̶e̶a̶r̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶I̶ ̶c̶o̶u̶l̶d̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶m̶o̶r̶e̶.̶ ̶B̶u̶t̶ ̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶m̶a̶y̶b̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶n̶e̶w̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶e̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶s̶ ̶w̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶w̶a̶y̶s̶ ̶I̶ ̶c̶o̶u̶l̶d̶n̶'̶t̶.̶

A poem written for the girl I used to be, one who loved a boy more than she loved herself.

281 · Mar 2018

Rough Sketch Love

Thicket of Thoughts Mar 2018

Rough Sketch Love

I am nothing special
I am not some great love
  I am not the girl of your dreams

   I  A m  A  R o u g h  S k e t c h  L o v e

And if that means that I am not enough for love

Then maybe I can be enough for myself

Because to someone I will be more than just a
Rough sketch of

W h a t  L o v e  I s  S u p p o s e d  T o  B e

275 · Jul 2019

I'm high

Thicket of Thoughts Jul 2019

I'm high

I have been high off of "Mary Jane"

But nothing compared to the high

That comes when his hands firmly

Grasp my wrists and places them

Above my head as he leaves a trail of

Soft kisses down my torso

This is the type of high that comes once in a life time

A high that keeps the world turning

And this fire inside me constantly burning.

247 · Sep 2019

Paint

Thicket of Thoughts Sep 2019

Paint

Free me
From this self seclusion

My brain demands a release

One that comes from
Red paint dripping
Down freckle cover shoulders

Two years clean

From the sharp edge of
Stolen razor blades

Some days are harder than others
But Im proud to no longer need
Those stolen blades

245 · Dec 2017

Bleeding Shoulders

Thicket of Thoughts Dec 2017

Bleeding Shoulders

Sometimes I wish for
Bleeding shoulders
Shallow wounds
That won't scare.

Other times I wish for
A high that only comes
When he smiles at me.

Desperately I wish for
A heart
That will stop
Breaking.

Some wishes just don't come true

#**** #sad #love #heartache #likegoeson

241 · Sep 2018

Hidden Pages

Thicket of Thoughts Sep 2018

Hidden Pages

Blue.. You were blue the blinding shade of a mid summers sky

Cold.. You were the cold breeze that pushed its way threw my fingers and into my hair

Broken.. You are broken like a vase that crashed over,spilling water and flowers onto the hardwood floor of our love

239 · Jun 2018

The passion in heart break

Thicket of Thoughts Jun 2018

The passion in heart break

I can't remember the last time
We kissed
But I can still feel
The weight of your lips against mine

I can't remember the last time
I said I love you
But I can still feel
The words rolling off my tongue

I can't remeber the last time
You held me in your arms
But I can still feel
Your warmth around me

I find myself thinking of you
When I know I shouldn't be

Will there ever be a day
When you aren't always in the
Back of my mind?

229 · Aug 2019

2 Days

Thicket of Thoughts Aug 2019

2 Days

I'll
Be
20
In
2
Days

218 · Jan 2018

Home Within The Trees

Thicket of Thoughts Jan 2018

Home Within The Trees

We were messed up kids
With messed up families
Who desperately needed someone who cared
We were addicts
Just as bad as the people who raised us
But we were addicted to each other
The attention, the need
We loved each other
But hated ourselves
That's why it worked so well

We had a secret club houses
Deep in the woods
Where no one would find us
Make believe worlds
Held together with shoe strings and branches
Curfew was something we never listened to
Because being together was way better than
Being home.

I miss being a little kid
Running threw those woods
Holding on to sweaty hands
Going to get snacks with food stamps
Never wanting to be home
I miss my life as it was
Gardens growing out of plastic blue bins
Little sisters being annoying
Best friends who never left my side
Friends I never thought I’d lose.

I’m happy that I have these memories
Because life couldn’t continue the way it was
12 years olds out till 1 am
Parents who didn’t care
Self harm and depression that increased daily
Relationships broken and people lost.

I’m older now and life goes on
Even now that I have none of them at my side
I still love them and wish for the days that felt
Like they’d never end.

215 · Jan 2018

Songs To Listen To: Part 1

Thicket of Thoughts Jan 2018

Songs To Listen To: Part 1

If ever you have some spear time you should listen to these songs.

Oceans by Seafret
W̶e̶ ̶h̶i̶d̶e̶ ̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶e̶m̶o̶t̶i̶o̶n̶s̶
̶U̶n̶d̶e̶r̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶s̶u̶r̶f̶a̶c̶e̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶r̶y̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶t̶e̶n̶d̶ ̶
B̶u̶t̶ ̶I̶ ̶f̶e̶e̶l̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶r̶e̶'̶s̶ ̶o̶c̶e̶a̶n̶s̶ ̶b̶e̶t̶w̶e̶e̶n̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶m̶e̶

Guillotine by Jon Bellion
T̶h̶e̶ ̶s̶e̶c̶r̶e̶t̶s̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶t̶e̶l̶l̶ ̶m̶e̶
̶I̶'̶l̶l̶ ̶t̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶g̶r̶a̶v̶e̶
̶T̶h̶e̶r̶e̶'̶s̶ ̶b̶o̶n̶e̶s̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶c̶l̶o̶s̶e̶t̶,̶ ̶
B̶u̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶h̶a̶n̶g̶ ̶s̶t̶u̶f̶f̶ ̶a̶n̶y̶w̶a̶y̶ ̶
I̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶e̶ ̶m̶e̶
̶E̶v̶e̶n̶ ̶w̶h̶e̶n̶ ̶I̶ ̶l̶o̶s̶e̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶m̶i̶n̶d̶ ̶ ̶ ̶

All Time Low by Jon Bellion
N̶o̶w̶ ̶I̶'̶m̶ ̶a̶ ̶g̶h̶o̶s̶t̶
̶I̶ ̶c̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶n̶a̶m̶e̶
̶Y̶o̶u̶ ̶l̶o̶o̶k̶ ̶r̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶r̶o̶u̶g̶h̶ ̶m̶e̶

Maybe you'll understand my mind a little better.

215 · Dec 2017

Eye Contact With The Dead

Thicket of Thoughts Dec 2017

Eye Contact With The Dead

Your eyes meet mine
Across the abyss
  I can no longer read the message
Written in your eyes
  You talk about hope and
Finding a light in the dark
  But I know none of its true,
Because you pushed me
  And my light away
But when you said those things
  Your eyes met mine and
We connected for a split second
  It was like making
Eye contact with the dead.

211 · Jan 2018

At First

Thicket of Thoughts Jan 2018

At First

I personally
Don't believe that
Someone can fall in love
At first sight

I think that
Maybe just maybe
Someone can fall in love
At first conversation

Because that's
Possibly what
Happened
To me
And
...

209 · Aug 2018

Maybe

Thicket of Thoughts Aug 2018

Maybe

Am i ready for this?
This escape from the life i live?
Am i ready to be all on my own,
In a world i know will hate me?
I guess my answer is
Maybe

205 · Mar 2018

The Birth of Thicket

Thicket of Thoughts Mar 2018

The Birth of Thicket

Lightning crashed
Against the sky
Clouds opened to
Release a cold
Down pour
Of ice covered petals
A storm of
Emotion and pain
. . .
Lost wandering in
The rain
Petals of ice cover her hair
Forming a beautiful crown
. . .
The lines that formed
Her body
Slowly faded into
Unfocused vines
Flowers bloomed in her eyes
Taking the place of
Her soul
Thorns escaped from
The cage around her heart
. . .
When asked for her name
She slowly repeated
as petals
Fell from her eyes
"I am from a Thicket of flowers
from which my name comes"

204 · Sep 2018

To My Summer Love

Thicket of Thoughts Sep 2018

To My Summer Love

Lay there, let me stare a little longer, give me time to memorize the
       way you looked when you were still mine. Please don't walk out the door, don't get up just lay there. Let me study your face as you
       think of things out of my control.

Can you look at me when you smile, one more time before I go,
       before I close this door and never let it open again. Could you laugh at one more of my horrible jokes. The thought of never hearing
       your laugh again hurts more, never touching your lips again.

197 · Mar 2018

{:Melancholy:}

Thicket of Thoughts Mar 2018

{:Melancholy:}

I can't find the right words
to put down for this poem
I feel like something is missing
and I am more than sure that the missing piece
happens to be me

I Am Melancholy
The Roads I Travel Down
No Longer
Hide The Things That I Am Scared Of
Its All Out In The Open For Me To See
I Am Melancholy

Have you missed me?

I have been missing myself..

189 · Dec 2017

#@$*_&~`|》

Thicket of Thoughts Dec 2017

#@$*_&~`|》

&itting in the sn@w and writing about
M# feelings
See~s like a great idea
B$t I can't force myse|f to
Put it 'nto words
The way it fe》ls to think about
#@$*&~'|》

187 · Jan 2018

Giving Up

Thicket of Thoughts Jan 2018

Giving Up

I want to run away
From all my problems
I want to give up
I want to curl up into myself
And cry until it doesn't hurt anymore
When you decided you didn't want me
It hurt and still does but
I can get over you
When I left him I still loved him
And I think I always will
That's why this hurts so much
I need someone to hold me
And tell me that eventually
Someone won't break my heart
That I will love someone
Who actually wants to be loved
I don't think I can take
This pain any longer
My chest hurts
I can't breathe
I feel like lying in bed
Till the world ends
Because my depression
Is telling me thats all
That I can do
So maybe
I'll just
Give up

186 · Mar 2018

N o F e e l i n g s

Thicket of Thoughts Mar 2018

N o F e e l i n g s

I  H o n e s t l y  F e e l  N o t h i n g

N o t  S a d n e s s , N o t  P a i n , N o t  H o p e , N o t A n y t h i n g

B u t  I  D o n ' t  W a n t  Y o u  T o  G e t  T h e  W r o n g  I d e a
B e c a u s e

I  W o u l d  G l a d l y  K i l l  M y s e l f  T o  S t a y  A l i v e

T h e r e  A r e  N o w  T h r e e  I n s t e a d  O f  F o u r

185 · Jan 2018

I'm Sorry

Thicket of Thoughts Jan 2018

I'm Sorry

Simply put
I'm sorry

I don't want
You to change
Who you are

I just wanted
You too pick
Me

But that won't
Ever happen.

I'm sorry
Maybe one day
You'll forgive me
And I won't
Be a smothering
Snowstorm

185 · Oct 2018

Colors = Feelings

Thicket of Thoughts Oct 2018

Colors = Feelings

Each feeling has a color that it
Co-insides with
And Each color has a soul
To represent it.
I am a shade of purple and orange,
the color of an autumn sunset,
the color of orchid petals.
While my best friend is a blinding yellow,
the color of dandelions swaying in the summer air,
the color of her bright hair.

To me you are a brilliant blue
but to yourself
Which color are you?

183 · Dec 2017

The Heart is a Fragile Thing

Thicket of Thoughts Dec 2017

The Heart is a Fragile Thing

The heart is a fragile thing
to play with
so be careful with it
it can break easily
when it does
the world feels like it’s crashing down
and like nothing can stop it
world’s bend and break
stars fall
and nothing can catch them

The heart is a fragile thing
to play with
so be careful when handling it
they’re usually made of shards
broke pieces of you
not letting them fall
be careful not to get stabbed
sadness radiates from them
only those who are sad can hold them

Oh the heart is a fragile thing
to play with
so be careful when building walls
people tend to break them down
ripping and tearing
stomping and kicking
trying to see what your heart looks like
make the walls sturdy
of iron and brick
not paper and glue
walls made to withstand hurricanes
to prevent a broken heart
for hearts are easily broken by
a simple smile
a contagious laugh
an affectionate hug
a meaningful touch
a sarcastic comment
a sad poem
things never meant to break hearts

Yes the heart is a fragile thing
most people are scared of breaking it
broken hearts aren’t always bad
they lead to
learning to live with oneself
and learning to deal with it all
and working to find happiness
in the darkest of moments
and a broken heart leads to other things
things not often found
like
first loves
and unrequited love
and stronger people
and happier endings
and better outcomes
and dreams long lived
and smiling people
and books unread
and works of art
and classical music

Then

In the middle of it all
comes a sarcastic

boy

In the style of Lawrence Ferlinghetti

182 · Jan 2018

Selfish Conversations

Thicket of Thoughts Jan 2018

Selfish Conversations

I enjoy having
Selfish conversations
Because that's when
People truly say what they feel

I'm confused and lost
But knowing how you feel
Makes me feel less stupid
For still loving you

Maybe we should have more
Selfish conversations

I think you enjoyed it to

181 · Oct 2018

Watercolor Pumpkins

Thicket of Thoughts Oct 2018

Watercolor Pumpkins

I have been searching in this crowd of empty faces
Following the sound of your voice
Tripping over the imperfections scattered around me
Dodging flailing arms as the crowd surges with regret

. . . bLaCk OuT . . .

Falling onto the hardwood floor that was once our love
I can no longer hear you calling to me
Struggling to stand on what feels like broken ground
My soul is shattered
I'm starting to recognize these empty faces
As they belong to my own soul
I am surrounded by mirrors

Have you ever felt like you're hearing your name being called
but really no one is there calling to you...

181 · Jan 2018

Long Conversations

Thicket of Thoughts Jan 2018

Long Conversations

I rarely have long conversations
I want to talk for hours about all the things I love
But the last time I did
It didn't go so well
I want someone to care about all the weird
Things that I talk about.

I want to have long conversations
About life and what happens after we die
About poetry and art
About love and heartache
About how it feels to be yourself around someone
When you barely no them.

The conversations I've had with complete strangers
Happen to be the best ones
To talk about the little things about yourself
To talk about the things they know nothing about
When you can tell the complete and total truth
And no one judges you because they secretly know
Exactly how you feel.

I want to have long conversations
I don't care who there with
Just someone who will listen.

181 · May 2018

Chain-linked Hearts

Thicket of Thoughts May 2018

Chain-linked Hearts

People often say that
One needs to cut the apron
Strings that attach them to their mothers.
Though they aren't real apron strings,
It's simply a metaphor for letting go.

Personally I believe that we have yarn Strings or maybe chain links that Attach us to the people we love.

Possibly we have strings for those
In our lives that arethe beginnings of Love or the people we hold special to Us, like our friends or our former Loves.

And maybe we have chain links that Forever attach us to the people we Love. I heard once that if you truly fall In love with someone you never really Stop loving them.

I have chain links and yarn strings
Around my heart. I wonder if you're a Chain link or a yarn strings.

180 · Sep 2018

265 Young Road, Lebanon, TN

Thicket of Thoughts Sep 2018

265 Young Road, Lebanon, TN

The House I Grew Up In Is
Where my sisters first learned to walk
Where we had birthday parties and tickle fights
Where I climbed every tree in our yard
Where I learned how to ride and love a horse
Where things were good for the first few months

The House I Grew Up In Is
Where I developed Depression, Anxiety, and PTSD
Where my mother would go out to our car and cry hoping that I wouldn't see her
Where screaming matches were a daily occurrence
Where the phrase "Grab your sisters go to your room and barricade the door" was used more than twice a week
Where my step father cut down my favorite tree while I stood and cried as I watched it go down
Where my step father would pretend that he really cared, but only after he made her cry
Where my mother finally gave up on loving him
Where I had to yell "Don't touch her!" at the top of my lungs for him to let go of my mother
Where I found myself hate a man more than a seven year old ever should be able of

The House I Grew Up In Is
Where I learned that my mother was stronger than I ever thought
Where I found that I could handle things I shouldn't have had to
Where I learned that protecting my sisters will forever be my job

The House I Grew Up In Is Where I Realized That The World Is Never Fair Even To Those Who Deserve It Most

178 · Feb 2018

Voice

Thicket of Thoughts Feb 2018

Voice

His voice is a low hum
Almost to low to hear
His hands are rough
But can still be held
I am a deep shade of blue

The closeness of his body
To mine makes my heart
Pick up speed

The way he looked at me
That look of playfulness
With underlying desire

I can feel his presence when
He's near by
And he can feel mine

He holds my heart
And I am finally
The holder of his

177 · Apr 2018

Blue and Gold Feathers

Thicket of Thoughts Apr 2018

Blue and Gold Feathers

As a walked into the room that once belonged to you
There was a familiar smell; yours.
She handed me blue and gold feathers
That used to sit on your head rest.

I still can't grasp the thought that
I can no longer feel your warmth when I pull into the drive way
I can no longer tell you how much
I loved watching those old movies with you,
I can no longer tell you I love you..

I thought that I was prepared for this
But no one can be prepared for when
Their grandfather passes away.

I'm burning sage and praying for you.
I miss you now more than I ever thought I would.
R.I.P
Charles Homer West
You were the best
And I couldn't have asked for better

175 · Jan 2018

Frustration

Thicket of Thoughts Jan 2018

Frustration

You are frustrating
You're stuck in a mess
That you alone created
Only you can solve the
Problems you have.
Why do you insist on
Making things worse
For yourself?

How many girls
Like/love you?
How many do you
ACTUALLY have
Those kind of
Feelings for?

Maybe that's
The problem
You need to figure out
How you really feel
About yourself
And the girls
That you've brought
Into your life.

174 · Oct 2018

+Masterpiece+

Thicket of Thoughts Oct 2018

+Masterpiece+

You are a piece of art
in the simplest kind of ways

Even brush strokes
Across a blank canvas

Dark shades blended
To hide the imperfections on your soul

Warm tones used
To bring out the smallest fragments of light

With a matte finish
Brought together the best parts of each other

You are a piece of art
In the simplest kind of ways

173 · Aug 2018

Bloody edges

Thicket of Thoughts Aug 2018

****** edges

I ' m  H e r e
S t a n d i n g  O n  T h i s  E d g e
W a i t i n g  F o r  T h e
B r e e z e  T o  G e n t l y  P u s h
M y  S c a r e d  H a n d s  I n t o
M o t i o n  O n c e  A g a i n
P r a y i n g  T h a t  T h i s  W i l l
B e  T h e  L a s t  T i m e
I H a v e  T o  M a k e  M y s e l f
B l e e d

173 · Jan 2018

Snow Storms And Infernos

Thicket of Thoughts Jan 2018

Snow Storms And Infernos

Accidental patterns
I see it
Now that you
Point it out
Poems that go
Back and forth
Oh how it seems
Like were unable
To do nothing
But hurt each other
Like Infernos
And Snow Storms

Which will
Smother the
Other on
First?

171 · Mar 2018

Voiceless

Thicket of Thoughts Mar 2018

Voiceless

I am voiceless
I have no clue how to make the world see the things I see
I don't know how
to put into words
how it feels to breathe,
I'm sorry that I can't explain
how I feel right now
my mind isn't working correctly

I'm not okay
but I feel fine

170 · Apr 2018

Thunderstorm Flowers: Dandelions

Thicket of Thoughts Apr 2018

Thunderstorm Flowers: Dandelions

yellow as the morning sun
these flowers are considered
weeds

when I was younger
i would make
wishes on dandelions

i would wish
for simple things
like a good day
or thunderstorms
that would last
all night

dandelions grew all
over the play ground
of my childhood

did you know that
you can write on
brick with
dandelions

i used to
write my dreams
with those flowers

yellow as the morning sun
to me dandelions are more
t h a n j u s t u s e l e s s w e e d s

This is the first in the collection, Thunderstorm Flowers. I'm not sure how many poems there will be in this collection but for now I plan on having many.