I have no intention on coming back to this grave a dug for myself
Because of myself all the chemical components of stress I endure

Oh woe is me
Hw I long to be alone
And yet I find myself showing my outer face
Some would say a ****** mask
Regardless I share it with everyone around me
Oh woe is me how I envy the happiness I don't won't
But stray from the silence I desperately crave

What we fight for
Is what they feed off of
We are the enemies closest to us
And that's why I dug the grave
That I walk away from every time attacking a new problem
That life brought back to me
And sprinkles it with irony

I mature only to realize lesson I learned burned me in past expression when I express my inner self because even with experience

They are really just all memories
Compact in an organic density
That will be like WiFi when I die

Let each touch the heart and spread like butter
For it will forever be a common story

I need not accomplish

What success may bring

I need not stay on a path ir stray off another

I need not love nor carry the hate

I need not art for anything but art

It is what it is

Simple and complex

But I need not fret

What will happen next

We all think we are special
And rightfully so
Because we are
but we all forget we are human
Those who only see we are human
Forget they are special
And rightfully so
Because we are

Somehow on the scale

We got to find the balance

I've been waiting forever for you

I will be every where till you

Show me that

Time will take whatever is due

And you break your ties so clever it's true

Darling I......

You know what plagues me at night

Thoughts

Thoughts and the ever living darkness the brings them from the parts of my brain associated with stress

I however am not an insomniac

Like Good dreams I think deep before my slumber

And in that thinking what is to come of me occurs

Even with thoughts as rich as fresh soil nurturing a budding flower
I swirl into disbelief of what is to come of me

Will I win

Should I do

Will I not

Yes I must

Overlapping in a heart racing pace

It bothers me

I want to sleep

I have things to do

See while my mind stretches itself into far far reaches

My body must suffer

My body must suffer even when my mind isn't being stretched

I know it could be worse

And I'm grateful it's only here

Another thought

This endless loop

I'm in pain

Still I need more from my body

Achy knees whistling lungs

I truly don't have it worse as I hastily type these words of fear confusion and frustration

It can bring me to the brink of tears

Like my friends

How blissfully ignorant some of them may be wether they may be privileged lucky or just plain stupid I have succumb to the poor man's set backs

Tossing and turning

YouTube to facebook

What if I never make it

I don't know the outcome

I'm just afraid to move

And moving because if I stay still the fear of not moving will consume me in a manner most unpleasant

Oh the bump I must overcome to become a stronger withered man

A husk if I may

I no longer taste the air air or bare the fruit of knowledge

I've lost the battle

I do not crave knowledge

And knowing is half the battle

The battle I play in my mind

Which tonight at this time will be forever and reoccurring

Sleepless thought