You asked me what I want
But how do you mean?

Like a wish?
Because it's always been a dream of mine
to fly with my own wings
or to control time
so that maybe I'd get enough sleep
and I could draw out the memorable moments until I'm sick of them
and then
maybe
sometimes when I need a break I could just stop everything
and focus on the serene silence of a world frozen in place

But does this wish have to obey the rules of this reality?
because if that were the case
then I could wish for the attention of that one boy
the one with the electricity in his fingertips
and that might temporarily please me

Or I could wish myself convenience
I could wish that my hoodie strings never crept uneven
I could wish that my nails stayed short and neat
so I didn't have to cut them
I could even wish that I knew everything there was to know

Or I could wish for something to better the world
I could wish that natural disasters were a myth
I could wish that 'pretty' didn't mean anything more than the empty breath of air and intangible vibrations that it actually is
That it didn't have any more impact than 6 letters of graphite should

Or I could wish for something to better myself
I could wish for better handwriting
so maybe I can convince myself that my words are worth the paper they stain
Or I could wish for endurance
Or effortless conversation skills
Or pristine work ethic-
something I can use to my advantage in the future to ensure success.

Or I could just wish for success.
I could wish for the job of my dreams
endless money
the perfect family
but where's the fun in that?

I could even use my wish to help someone else
cure someone of their terminal cancer
Hell-
I could wish up a cure for cancer!

I could wish that mosquitoes didn't exist
or that I had a photographic memory
or that I lived somewhere I could wear flip flops in January
or that I would never age, never feel pain
I could wish for an A on my next science test
or that poverty inversely reflect humanity

But you know what I think?
I think it's human nature to feel discontent
and I think
that's vital
to the evolution of the human race

I think that we need it
to continue
to grow
and better ourselves

So what do I want?
What's my one wish?

I wish that I could believe in the magic of the stars peeking through tonight's sky

my box of journals caught fire

memories hold heat, see
above the box spring and mattress
I lay lit by your memory
back to the sheets
head slightly off the bed
then I dropped a thought of you.
just a small mental snap;
the curve of your back…
that’s the only kindling our heat needed to sizzle
now I’m drenched in fire~

How could one not crave
the kind of truth that makes
trust skip a beat
and fall
amidst wisteria storms
when the rageful season
swarms
and sneers, shamelessly
infesting the senses?

Time is slowing,
Everything desires to hibernate as winter kisses the mountain valleys,
And the end has faded into the now,
My beloved present,
An inevitable tick...tick...
A minute has passed and it feels like I have been smothered through my angst against time.
I am crawling, waiting, searching...
Deliberating, trying to lose myself,
And the revolution plays throughout my mind,
Whipping through every thought as I box and battle this decision against disease, against prejudice, to fight for sanity, a pleasurable manifestation of change.
I am broken, I have been this way for quite some time as the facts choose to remain just that, facts.
With spring shall come the bittersweet rejuvenation of my re-emergence into society where nothing has changed yet everything will be different,
Where the mind and heart heals,
The  spirit shall bloom, prosper...breath.
With the transition comes hope, magic, possibilities,
And an insightful chance that came from finally making the right choice,
Taking the right turn, and out will break the miracles of life from within and throughout.
The answers will come from the darkness within the darkness.
I had to ride the rails to be saved;
Had to bathe in impunity to finally see.
To breath, to laugh, to joke, to be free, to live,
To take away the want and the need elevates the innocence and does more than open the mind as we become free.
We all have dreams, girl, we all dream.
It has become the true never ending of blossomed virtues, ambitions, goals, inhibitions, values...
This is this, and that is that.