happiness always starts somewhere
sadness always starts somewhere
liveliness always starts somewhere
depression always starts somewhere
eating disorders always start somewhere
insomnia always starts somewhere
i can't seem to pinpoint the moments
where everything started for me

never-ending sleepless nights,
blinded by streetlights that shine too bright,
crazed by crossroads that will never meet again,
lost in a city with no end

have i gone mad or have i always been insane?
i'm not sure what to think these days,
crack my skull open just to see what's inside,
i am scared of being alive

is this the dark side or the light?
i can't tell anything tonight,
my hopeless heart tells me it's fine,
but i know it's all a lie

you know my name
but not my story

you know my grades
but not my glory

you know my size
but not my perception

you know my fall
but not my redemption

sometimes i'm trapped in my own mind
do i need help or am i alright
with falling apart and breaking my bones
is there a person in this world who actually knows?