Your eyes are a mirror,
in them I was lost.
All I ever sought was you,
but the reflection I saw
was me I never knew.

Why is letting go so hard
Her touch found another
A warmth that's not mine
An absent breath
Empty arms
Sleepless
Why

The answer I wanted was "yes".
The answer I needed to hear was "no".
The answer you gave was "   ".
And the months of conversations that never happened filled my life with:

... love ... hate ... hope ... regret ... clarity ... confusion ... laughter ... tears

But saddest of all ... ambivalence.

I’m different.

If you’re looking for a gentle breeze that’s not me.
I’m a gale force wind that clears the way for change.

If you’re looking glass of wine and a warm fire that’s not me.
I’m three fingers of Irish whiskey and a bonfire burning bright.

If your looking for a sweet moldable woman that’s not me.
I’m strong willed and opinionated and sure of where I’m going.  

If your looking for a pretty perfect princess that’s not me.
I’m wild flawed I dance with my Demons then sing them to sleep.

Like I said
I’m different.

I don’t want to think about you
You’re so confusing
But,
All I can do is try to figure out what you meant and what you want
You’re a cancer in my mind
Spreading
Overtaking