The sinking feeling grows inside.
I wonder what it will feel like to die.
Will there be pain, or will it feel the same?

The same as it feels to fall into a dreamless sleep?
Will the simple taking of a life
Be by a knife.
Or will it be in the dead of the night?

Will it go by fast or slow,
While I breath my last breath?
Will I regret not living a life properly,
Or will I smile till my heart stops beating?

Will there be someone by my side or,
Will I be alone when I die?
Would anyone cry?
Would there be anyone who couldn't live without me?

I'll sit and wonder till the day
I die, till the end of my time.

The sky transitions from night to day. I watch the stars go away as the sun comes up to great us with a new day.

I am my own monster. 
I am what I feared as a child.
I have become what I hate,
Yet in a way I find confer in it. 
I have not changed. 
I am still who I was a year ago... 
I'm just more intune with it.
I'm my own pain
My own distraction
My down fall.
I'm my own monster. 
Personalized to destroy the joy 
The joy I find in life.

I'm such a fool.
How can you be so cruel?
You took my heart ripped it a part.
With the words that you said,
Tore it to shreds.
I guess friendships just fall into the dark.
Never to be seen,
Never to be repaired. 
So much for all the times we shared.
I guess you won't always be there.

I am beautiful.
I am gorgeous and flawless in my presence here.
Right now, I've made it to right here.
Every inch of my heartstrings,
Every ounce of my lifeblood
Is meant to be right here, right now
People say Carpe Diem but I don't need to
Seize an entire day,
Just this moment.
This one.
And this one.
And this one right here.
A perfectly polished present from eternity,
Crafted by the hands of God Himself just for me to
Experience and savor and
Breathe in - the scent of life
Smoke and green grass, honey, lilacs,
Homemade lasagna, his cologne, her shampoo.
I've made it to right here, right now
And every word from my lips is an amen to finish off
The prayer of another sunrise, another day
And every heartbeat is a hallelujah to praise another breath,
Another moment in this body
My skin is a tapestry of remembering,
Rose-pink lines bearing witness, well-worn kaleidoscope
Memories of knowing dark nights and grey, lifeless dawns
And the strong, burning scent of *** in my throat
But it's okay now
Because I will protect me
I have dragged myself from the depths
And it was scary.
And it is hard.
And it will be okay.
I am right here, right now
And this is my moment.
My moment to breathe, to feel,
To live.
To let my razors rust and
Know that the pills have forgotten how to poison me
And I will dance like when I was a child,
Before I knew what shame was
And I will laugh like when I was a baby,
Smaller than my mother's hands
And I will love like I have never known the
Sharp, sad pain of depression inside my skull
Because I am beautiful.
I am somebody's favorite voice and I am somebody's
Helping hand and I am somebody's
Shoulder to cry on and I am
Student, teacher, daughter, friend, helper, lover, woman, person,
Human.
And this is the portrait of a young lady
Who is not afraid to love herself with passion
And rebuild her foundation on rock bottom
Because I made it.
Because I am beautiful.
Because this moment is my amen to living.
Because I am right here, right now.
And so are you.

One song can bring back a thousand memories,
A thousand  moments,
A thousand feelings,and
A thousand tears.

The emotion swallows you up,
While the memories drown you with tears.
Oh how I fear them together,
How I hate them there.
It's a bitter taste unable tO leave my mouth.
But then again I want to clutch those feelings to my heart,
And never let them go.

Even if the pain is too much to bear. They are a part of me, a part of everyone.

They make up how we are, what we've been through.
It's like a monster from inside,
One that will not let you forget.

We are the monsters to ourselves,
And yet we still hold On.