You tried to change me and maybe that's why I actually weighed my options this time. You forced me to realize the handprints I left on people's life. I'm sorry that the only ones I left on you were around your neck. I swear to god I was just trying to hold your face in my hands so I could kiss you. Maybe I just treated you the way I wanted to end myself.  & like drugs, people become toxic. But we don't always start out that way. I am a parasite, slowly but surely destroying you. I can't tell if I push you away because I'm trying to save you or **** myself. I'm a drug, a parasite and the worst possible thing to love.  i destroy everything in my path. & im tired of hurting people. I will only be content when you are safe so let ME save YOU. You made me promise I wouldn't end my life but let's compromise... How about I promise to end it quickly?

- I don't want to hurt you anymore

the sickest part
about realizing you are in love with someone
is figuring out that
they don't have to love you back
we believe that
the person that we hold closest to us
should hold onto us just as tightly
sometimes they can't
because they are too busy
holding onto someone else
who isn't holding them back either
and the trend goes on forever.

so after all of this, here i am
sitting on the edge of another strangers bed
coughing up all the 'i love you's that were said to me
but never meant for me
i realize now that curses don't always unbreak
the past is tied to you
like cinder blocks around your ankles
and pressing hard against your chest
like the weight of his other woman
your true loves kiss
wont fix a **** thing
if the love isnt mutual
lately ive learned that
it is sometimes better when you get stuck
kissing your own wounds
and sometimes is always
i never believed that i was somebody
that someone else could love again

thank you for proving me right

They teach you a lot in school
How to add, multiply, divide,
& subtract.
But they don't teach you how to say
you're sorry for wanting to **** yourself
when everyday, people who want to live
die.
They don't teach you how to deal with
the aching sadness,
the crippling darkness,
& the desire to subtract yourself
from this life.
I know how to factor,
but I don't know how to hold myself together.
They can teach you a lot in school.
But they couldn't teach me
to love myself.