Anyone who filled my time that could have been
Empty with me sitting alone in a dark room,
You may not make me smile everyday but that moment was the best thing you did for me at that time.
The clock ticks to our oblivious senses.
We are oblivious for a reason,
The reason is to have a moment that grows into a memory.
The memory lives and dies after new moments are planted into our hearts.
Remember the moment when you stood backstage and peaked behind the curtain.
Remember the moment the curtain opened up and the audience silenced its sins to see your glory.
Remember you felt something move and suddenly you were dancing the routine.
Remember the flowers that fell to the floor below you as you stood in bowing position under a beaming spotlight.
A moment like this is the standing tree to our happy thoughts.
Take care of the tree and don't break off the good memories by tearing off the bark and branches.
A moment is sacred, a memory is special, a tree is our place of thought

Almost feels as if I have nobody.
As a bird not wanting eggs,
or a fish not wanting the worm.
So many accusations
of what I've said or done.
I never did.
So much to scare me away.
I let them go,
then I look around and I am severely punished.
At the sight of the stars finding one another using their glittering light
in the great big sky.
Watching the snowflakes fall onto their perfect banks.
This has been the story of my whole life.
The girl you always see alone.
Is it so much to sacrifice?
There is no right or wrong
to the answer of finding connection.
So to feel I have no connections,
no people, no friendships.
I hate myself
and I just want to throw a rock and shatter
the glass of my bedroom window
where I lay
alone.
The shattered glass on the wood floor
is what my heart looks like
when I'm watching people as
bears in the pack,
smiling like children with lollipops,
and bees in the hive they fit in.
Watching,
but wanting to get there.

This is the worst time
to be thinking about
Quitting.
My mind thinks of **** as my
face is red and my teeth grit.
I feel the nerve in my arms to
punch you and claw your face.
Maybe you should be the one
bleeding noticeably this time.
I am sick of the haters hating
and the babies crying.
I want to cry with the little babies
but I have to forget that I live with
something.
Even though I use my words and
they are heard but never listened,
I know someone will want to.
I'll keep going,
I'll be here,
I won't lose control.
You're not going to bleed,
as long as you do for me
as well as you.
I like to think there is a place to be
and people to hug when something
isn't wrong.
There are, and that my friend
is you.

Nobody has ever shown utter ambition to sit still and
learn from something I will either destroy my looking good
or I will warm another heart and tears will be part of the
scene.
Though its only once I get to be with you every week,
you are the best part I dare say.
Men like you fight the world to be at peace as they live
their dream.
If I could be yours I and if I were a magic woman
I would make the world a better place for your dream to come true,
and I would be your queen to support your every decision made
and for all to be there to see it.
I want to see it, as you are sincere in asking to read my poems
and listen to the harmony and lyrics of my songs.
I write and dream of us to be close
I am more than ok with being just friends as long as I
live my life and you play a great part.
I will cast you as the leading male.
The thought of you is what pushes me to try harder.
Tell me,
if you think of me,
while creating your magic on the screen
as you live your dream.
I will
be there
to see
it.
But now,
I imagine,
feel nothing but
butterflies when I see and
think of you,
and hope some form of magic
happens.

Many I know hope I will soon drop off the face of the earth.
Ive been this quirky alien from now til
Birth.
It is never easy for me to be around.
Everyone sees that I'm the awkward guest at this party and no one has lifted me off the ground.
Balloons are tied and the pizza is on the table.
I ate more than anyone else that is all I am able.
I'll leave now so I'm not in your presence.
Next party where I know I'll invite myself next
Is in heaven.
I'll be an angel you'll remember me through the heartbeat in your chest.
Now that I'm an adult, I would rather be dead than the noticeable
Awkward guest.

They will never
Say to you what they say to me,
Treat you the way they treat me,
Look at you
The way they look at me,
Feel like that
The way they feel around me.

Nervous, and scared is how they feel.
Treat me differently,
To you, their real.
Always giving your skills a try.
I'm happy for you
But that could be a lie.

You will never
***** it up like I do.
Embarass yourself,
See why they trust you.
Lose your temper,
It's never out of the blue.

I was given the gene
To give my anger a call.
Got so bad
I now lose it all.
Make you cry
At my vulgarity.
Never wanted to teach you that
Profanity.

They are never
Hesitant with you like with me.
Talking to you like a minor
Like with me.
Watching you impress
As I get frustrated
And cause everyone stress.

We two siblings
Nothing alike, not the same.
I play the role,
You play the game.
Sorry for my
Going insane.

Comparing us to the bible story,
You're Abel and I'm Kane.
My anger is no fuzzy sweater.
This is why you are better.
Forever they will see your presence
And feel relaxed.
They will see my presence,
And you will see my tracks.

Will be the point where I am
Out of your life and I am
Gone.
It will be forever
Won't be long.
Let's just try to get along.
Prove
That in your life
I belong.

I thought we could all be a choir of insecure teenagers pretending nothing is wrong when in our heads it is all wrong.
I sang the blues and danced in the hallways of the school, but my only applause was
pointing fingers and laughter.
I knew that if I ruled the world, I would have everyone sit in a circle and just
say it the way their young mind wants them to.
If I was queen of the drama I would say to scream the worst of the worst profanity,
get in the center of the tile floor as if it is your stage,
vent, spread your arms apart as your fingers leave inches of space,
and cry for all to see.
Never would I let anyone go back to the same person at the same time of day.
We would pick someone new and together we would learn through conversation that there is power when meeting a stranger. To all I was one.
Talking to yourself will no longer be a crime, and I would make it ok for
everyone to jump up and down, say something wrong, and shrug to any words that
are worth the outrageous reaction.
Never make fun of me for all that I do at any moment at any time.
I knew I would never rule the world at age thirteen as stress was lit like a match and flames of tears and a lying face would burn all over me.
The scar burns and ashes have melted away and I can smile again,
and when the phoenix flies by so high and visible,
every tic stops for a moment as I am detained by graceful vision.
I am alive today carrying but not devoting the way I see myself that has made me stronger, and not only a woman with bravery,
but a teacher with lessons of respect.
Now class,
you can’t control the rest of the students,
but be kind to yourself first,
never punish yourself for your flaws,
and see how compassion and love
brings you to believe
in your own
strength.
We can’t all have the same spirit inside,
but we can let it outside of ourselves to
show we belong together as a world.
Class dismissed,
now your homework tonight
is to read yourself and write a paper
about all the things you love about
who you are, not anybody else.
You won’t be graded,
this is all for
you.

I knew there was jeopardy,
in our hearts and our minds.
Blood flowing amongst your lungs,
and to many breaths in mine.
Our eyes saw one another
as the same but different
color.
The virtue of patience grew mutually,
I just sat and thought of the day
you would be daddy and I would be
mother.
Long distance is anything but easy,
you never know how you really
are
until that infection hits you
hard in the
gut.
You knew you had to go,
you questioned if staying was worth it,
if I was the one thing keeping you alive,
the truth made you realize
I wasn’t.
Since we broke up and you hung up
first,
I have carried on with
blood, sweat, and tears,
and alcoholic thirst.
Every new man who approaches me
makes me crave your love once more.
I just pretend I was your one and only
and heaven was the last open door.
I find comfort in imagining our
break up call like this:
I heard your voice last as
they turned off the machines
and my heart shattered with
broken glass,
of picture frames of my visions
of you, me,
and our two sons and
daughter.
I will never find another man like you,
you were perfect
you just couldn’t believe it too.
But I know you are alive and
breathing,
if I see you again,
please tell me
I was the one
who taught you to
love yourself
you were such a gift
in my life,
I panic when I ask if I
was a gift in
yours.
I reminisce you as if you died
peacefully  in bed with dialysis machines and wires
hooked to your heart.
I was the last one who loved you,
who you held and protected in your
chest.
Those weren’t the only wires
that had to carry you through
as I was with you at the time.
So rest in peace,
You are one I will never forget.
You live in the sky with angels,
I continue my life with
regret.
I miss you,
teddy bear.
You were on dialysis,
so you being gone forever
is only
fair.

I can get over this bridge
Without you holding my hand.
If you are ever lost and alone
Not knowing where to go,
I am your friend.
I’ll hold yours.
I’ll guide you.
We now need to take care of our own.
So much is happening
All at once.
As a friend,
Know I still care.
I’ll be a person to vent with
About the losers who take out their pathetic
Lives on us.
The conversations will be lit again.
Never will I walk away
When all you want to do is
Cry.
I’m your friend,
So cry on me when emoting is a must,
And I’ll cry on you on my time in need to
Emote.
When we emote together all at once,
We know it’s not what we hoped for,
But that connection is still
Something,
No one,
But you and I
Can have together.
Once we start talking like we used to,
Our friendship wont be for once,
But forever.

You just can't get over that I
exist. Can you?
Do you ever get enough people
to fawn over you and your
guitar?
Can you ever get another set of
eyes to watch over your great and
bashful performance?
You look thinner than me.
I'm nothing but a fat hourglass
ticking until my mood
changes.
Do you not see how they yawn
as you talk about nothing but
yourself?
This is how you have confused love
for admiration.
When they say No to hearing your new
cover,
It's not their
jealousy at its peak.
It is you Tiresome
personality just being there.

I dreamed last night I was visiting a house
of people around my age in the city overlooking
the highway.
We were laughing, drinking, and running around
as if nothing wrong could happen.
I cried in the dream because I wanted to stay forever.
I woke up with a broken heart and little excitement.
I love who I am around but my habits are nothing of
the common interest.
I will propose so many great things but it is humor that is
taken.
The places I want to travel with you and the beer I want to
drink with you may be just me all alone when accomplished.
Apologies have been given and received, though
I am now with people who I am comfortable and care about.
I was before, though I can’t make them stay.
I am pretty ragged and funny while my mouth speaks of
obscenity.
You know my mind has some rough spots and I try to remain calm.
If I change what I can and own my bad behavior,
will you stay?
I’ve learned about mysterious worlds and buildings of a
character.
You guys know all the words to my favorite songs.
You know my stories of victimization and trauma how
your responses meant so much after sharing what was
hard.
We may not take place in a city at night in one house together,
though when I meet you at our designated places such as
our dinner time or meetings,
I feel at home with a family
of love.

Love lasts,
Never labels of what we call.
Times change,
But staying friends is best of all.
Still here, still care about each other.
With a person like you,
I will never find another.

Getting up in the morning,
my highest strength indeed.
No one ever calls out to me
in great need.
Blown off every second,
knowing they are unfair.
Can't show this through tears.
Unaware that I care.
The people I now see,
willing to hear.
We are there to listen to
every story and fear.
Drinks and pills
not to define any of us.
Smoking and venting
because we trust.
Everyone of us has been beaten,
all shut down one of the yesterday.
Knowing and so close,
we just say
what we need
to say.

I dreamed last night I was fighting you
again.
I called you a **** and I said I hated you.
While I said those words you had a smile on
your face.
So did everyone in the locker room.
I woke up and realized that three years today I say
better words and still nobody listens.
I was a joke then and I am today.
One day I’ll be listened to.
Don’t feel threatened if I’m right,
and never feel powerful when I’m wrong.
My syndrome is a gift and a curse and sometimes
fools me with my choice of words and actions.
If the dream had been real and if I had said it to you,
You would never get an apology.
You needed that name calling.
You never received it,
but you were no better
than anyone or
anything or
me.

Trouble is borrowed

Danger is given

Crisis is taken

Drama is lent by two

Problems are forced

Acts are stolen

When
           Nobody
Gets
        What
They hope
                   For

Only way I forgive
is to step away.
Stand in the moonlight
and move to the darkened side of town.
They will never find me,
come to know
how they believe they own me.
I could never find
a place to stand
within the space or love.
Loneliness is a lesson
to teach us to take ourselves out
and find some ourselves.
I walked alone for months
on the streets of falling out.
Where then I met people alone
in the middle of the street.
I crossed at the crosswalk.
And here we met.
This is no comparison
but a story of staying out of
the streets of falling out.
Yes leaving you was hard.
The tears and pale skin showed.
Now we talk
but have moved on to others more like us.
We don't need to feel shame,
just know we were never meant to be.
They were not like the pedestrians who God put at the same sign.
One said Falling Out St.
the other said Forward Avenue.
Split and broken up,
but happy with sigh.
I walk with the ones I trust with a place for me to stand between
on Forward Ave.
This time my friends are not numbers.
We are family.
And we reside on weekends
in our little place
that holds us together.
Take a left out of
Falling Out St.
Turn right onto
Forward Ave.
And you will find
my family and I
deep
and meant
to be.

Though I may not be with you,
the dress on your date may not be worn by me.
I hope you had fun tonight,
set all your uptight free.
I'm happy for you
it's only better to smile.
Seeing you and your new girl
I now am alright with moving on
it just took me a while.
The time is here I am patient at last.
No anger is driven by looking at the past.
It was a swell time to have you as a possibility.
Just go have fun at the dance with her,
no need to spare
a thought
for me.

The nonsensical and immature,
the sharp and the emotional,
whatever they see,
love or disapprove.
Know it won't go away.
It is a part of me,
though I shall work on,
but I cannot toss.
Must hold with a firm grasp
in my palm.
Control the unwanted,
dictate the insufferable.
No matter what I do,
it doesn't flee from the inside.
It's a part of me.
I appreciate your concern,
but every condescending
tone and comment
hurts me so deep.
Whatever I do,
that may discomfort your soul,
I love myself no matter
and to those who have acted as giants
and looked down at me like a hobbit.
I may seem young,
but my easy-going vibe
intimidates nobody who needs somebody.
We all need love,
we need comfort and affection.
Despite my
people who treat me as their child.
I am far more grown up,
and you know better than that.
Equality, Integrity, Fair, and
Kind.
Is what you will sense when you approach me
for the first time in your life.
Now forget the quirks,
the cries,
and discomforting chat.
That part of me is now what makes me
this loving, persevered, optimistic woman.
The part that we care most about,
is my Good.
It is the best part of me.
And that is the best part that I will see,
in You.

I can't trust you anymore.
If I told you I was sorry,
you would respect my will.
If I told you I was traumatized,
I am a survivor of abuse, and I
have a troubled past,
you would say it was all
my fault.
You walk away and lift your
hands in the air and say,
"just saying".
I hear the dominance loud and clear,
but when you hear the kindness from me
as simple and sweet as can be,
I demand,
you
Learn and
stop
knowing
everything,
You know you really don't,
why be two faced?

I couldn't believe how wrong I was.
I knew that they would turn their heads away and choose what they listen.
I was certain I'd be in tears by the time I arrived.
I had the idea that they decided through distance that I ruin everything.

I couldn't believe how wrong I was.
I was smiled at and praised when I was seen.
I was listened to and even created oppurtunities for laughing and clapping.
I had no idea they missed me so much.

Through distance, we either change our minds or learn to love no matter the cost of peace or share.
Through distance, we think.
I was overthinking the whole time I was gone.
All doubt gone and forgotten.
We have no punches to roll with but no reason to punch in the first place.
We're all at peace.

I walk out of my glass house onto a pebble driveway.
My jeep sits there parked on the left.
I'm not going to drive it now.
It's late,
and my anger has the best of me.
Tying my physical actions to my mad-at-the-world mentality.
It was a moment,
it will be passed but remembered.
Should I be the responsible once of another wrong?
Throwing a stone at another house like mine won't solve anything.
I would rather let go of one wrong since two won't make a right.
I put down the stone,
go back to my glass house, let it not be shattered.
That is where my home is.
My heart may not be there too,
it was only a moment.
I'll retrieve my heart again.

How dare you invite yourself
and interrupt every bit of me being happy and glad?
Now that you've come in me
I'm nothing but enraged and mad.
Broken glass everywhere
and empty shelves that held food.
Get out of me, Depression
I want to be in a better mood.
You're selfish
you're unreal
you wreck my relationships
my happiness is what you steal?
Get out of me now
I want to live okay again.
Get out now,
take a walk,
you're like a faux friend.
When will you ever claim your time to end?

The key of life
Is not anyone at all.
Not knowing we learn
Through the yellow and black
Flying insect.

Small but smart as can be.
Teach us lonely uncertain humans.
To go forward but keep routine.

Sometimes our hives have to change.
Flowers come back
But we may always choose different.
Since the flowers do become new.

Let them bloom.
Like babies laughter and the moon phases.
Change is hard, but it's only to
make well and accept.

So like a bee.
The key of life, the busy.
Be thy strong self,
but change blooms into stregnth.

Even in new places
we find out honey.
Even in new places
We find our belonged wanted area.
Notify with a sting.
Life is constantly changing.
If only we could all change,
Accept, and find our true honey anywhere we fly.
Be humble
Like a bee.

I'm sure you hope we're happy now.
Seeing us together with our new and blessed
friends must bring you all to tears.
We understand,
but now we're happy and at ease.
Was it real was always the
question
as we would fight and try to take comfort.
The answer,
was always
no.

A phone call is something I jump to
within excitement of being reached.
This one is serious,
and  my voice cracks as I say good bye
and hang up.
I always said It would be better
if my existence faded.
The news tells me I am important.
There are things to be dealt with and
possible consequences and changes to be faced.
Not every change is a consequence,
not all news is bad,
not all thoughts of dying are true
until you learn
it could be real.
It is hard when this is the end.
Don’t even want to think about a new
beginning.

I am defeated by publicity, these pens run out of ink for a reason.
None of my thoughts deserve to be on paper, therefore the sheets are blank and the journals remain closed and put away so even I can't find them.
I wanted this for myself and nobody quite understands.
I have begged, I have pleaded, I have fallen to my knees to show how I feel for them.
They roll their eyes and walk away every time.
Remind me, that i am just here. A person. And I don't have to matter.

I hear nothing from any of them and fear
I have destroyed the heart
Of a someone I have.
All this time being alone
with bullets in my head
and
hammers in my heart
nailing down the truth of
what I may come to be.
Penniless and enraged  I'll
be someday.
These thoughts of fire in the
corner of the cafe where I want
To meet for coffee burns down
the building and kills one of us.
The day we first met for a cocktail
as we cheered our glasses together
and took a sip at the same time
was like a promise.
A promise that we would have fun whenever we can and take care of
each other.
Now I can't remember how to get back
to the bar nor what I usually order.
I return home and sit on my bed.
The bullets in my head just tell me
to lie down and rest.
The nails in my heart somehow manage
to make me think I'll wake up and someone
I knew for years will be beside me.
Sometimes the dreams I have of all of us
together
scream No at me
since I'm always alone at the bar.
They don't look promising.
Just living every hangover
alone.
Since I will now make a promise
to be
Sober.

Lying in my warm bed, awake.
The window next to me provides me light.
Can't even face my window and look outside,
The bad people come out at night.
My shaking in sweat hands and fingers,
Clutching my blanket.
My face in my pillow, hidden and buried.
The clock is ticking,
The room so dark and empty,
I'm still so worried, need to tell my
Paranoia, "I've had plenty."
But my mind won't listen.
Somebody is coming to get me.
This paranoia tricks me around.
My heart beats faster than the clock,
Can't breathe,
Can't think,
Of anything real.
Night passes,
Morning is here.
I'm bloodshot, pale, and sick.
You
Have no idea
How at night I freak of the someone out to get me.
And how scared I feel.

I rush to sit down when I hear your call.
I see it is you and I know what I have to do.
I press the green button.
God knows what you are about to say to me.
I want to say I don’t care
But I am obligated to hear everything since you
Have chosen me to be your Doctor.
I am no such thing and never will nor
Want to be.
I have spent hours on the phone with you
Every single day even when I never had time to.
I have heard countless terrible stories and
Listened carefully
Even
If I didn’t
Want to.
I understand what you are going through
But know I am going through something too.
Soon we will find the opening to the tunnel
We walk through everyday.
Just act like I am there.
Know it will be ok.
I can assure you but cannot
Take every punch for you.
I can listen but I cannot
Sacrifice every minute of my life for you.
I can call you friend
But you cannot call me Doctor.
It is never too late to start again
But I cannot do half of it
for you.

Im on the verge to drop off the face of the earth.
I understand I have gone from fun to overwhelming,
From laughing to crying,
Strong to obese,
Living life and writing my next steps to
Sitting alone in a dark room writing my suicidal note.
I have ****** up everything I wanted
I have destroyed my reputation.
Maybe you'll look at me from the corner of your eye.
I'm not going to hurt, I'm not putting you to shame.
These pills I take these appointments I make
I can't tell you everything and explain all that is private.
I'm not going to persist in not going to insist.
These poems I write my teeth I bite
Make good people run away.
Come back!
Don't go.
Just listen.
Please don't leave me here.
I'd tell you in detail.
But even
I don't
Always know.
If I ever catch you at the corner of my eye.
My heart may stop my mouth may drop.
I'll hope you will understand that was then this is now.
We don't know if it will still be right.
Don't think of yourself as doing service or tolerating.
Think of yourself as the greatest.
Reaching out means so much.
The conversations we have I love to make you laugh.
At the corner of your eye,
See I don't only change I improve.
Not for your benefit, but for the love and a good relationship.
At the corner of my eye, I see you looking at me from yours.
No tears, no smile, just happy you see I'm on the face of the earth my complete choice.
I don't need you I just know you.
Very swell indeed to remember happy times I got to share and I get to recall.
They motivate me to keep calm and to stay on the face of the earth.
Things get better **** doesn't last forever.
At the corner of my eye,
I see a beautiful place that even has a spot for me.

What a fool I was all those years.
I should have followed my heart and faced my fears.
Paranoid of being alone with no one to help me along,
I followed your footsteps.
Mine are now gone.
I should have followed my heart and let you all be.
I never should have approached you.
You were never right for me.
Take back the invitations and hugs how they came so rare.
How stupid of me to persist and show that I care!
Now I'm gone and your lives are empty with sigh.
Don't bother to persuade me the friendship was never a living lie.
I'm the one smiling with friends so close.
I learned from your rolling eyes to be careful before giving the rose.
I saw the petals in a mess on the tile floor.
I will never beg to accept like I did before.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I am happy I no longer hang out with all of you.
So come what may,
The roses die anyway.

While the world was changing
our different beliefs were
furiously ascending.
They used to be intriguing as I’d be shooting
a rifle and you would be marching with me
in a fight for women’s rights.
Now you’re being sexist and I’m for
control.
Never thought the reality of beliefs in
legal eyes would take us on a toll.
I stood and panicked as you held my hands
and offered to take me.
You looked to the side of the room near the door
when I talked about my feminist spirit and what
it means to me.
We two great people so passionate and
holding our beliefs in a clutch
got to be overbearing and  then anxiety said it
was too much.
I tried too hard you tried  even harder.
Breaks my heart that different views of
federal and state cases did not let this relationship
go farther.
You’re gone and bullets are raining in your life.
I see no more of your face and I never again feel
your touch.
I guess what I want in this world is happening through
LGBT and Gun Control,
perhaps I’m too good AND
too much.

Waking up from
Chaotic dreams and restless
Bothersome Thoughts,
Out my bedroom window
There fly some little blue jays
All around the tree and feed off
Our grass.
I went to bed in anger
Then woke up to this.
Everything will be ok
In the end.
Hard changes are coming
About though the birds
Are my motivation to
Seize the day.
Perhaps a coincidence or
A sign from the lord above,
We know everything
Will be
Ok.

I now see that this is the way.
I'm gone,
and everyone is happy
again.
Is it really my absence that let's people live their lives the way
they want?
Yes they are allowed to have a good life.
I never thought that I could be such a burden
that letting me go
was such a breath given.
I want you to breathe, but I want you back.
I don't know what to do with myself.
Fine, I'll let it go.
I never wanted to make things miserable for you.
Will it be ok
when you find your comfortable group
and I'm the one who ends up
alone?

I move on
With or
Without you.
Usually without a hand to hold
And usually with a grudge to
Be drilled in my head.
It's just not how it used to be,
I once hugged you once a day
I hear from you
Never.
Too bad.
I don't care.
I move on with a guitar in the right hand and
A satchel bag on my shoulder.
Walking a lonely road,
Won't be lonely anymore after
Moving on
From being with
You.

He is on my mind.
Still and I'm practically ******.
I think of him and just can't
bear the thought of falling in love.
Though I cannot bear the thought of
a falling out, he will be on my mind
until I see him in front of me
eye to eye.
Maybe reality will take me away from
imagination.
Because naturally,
it isn't happening at all,
and it never will.

Give me an Orr.
Just something I can use,
To get away from my troubles.
I'll strengthen my arms,
To push the boat
And let my past be behind me
As I'm overruled
By current.

Give me a saddle.
And I'll need a horse.
To gallop me away
From the bugs who don't know
When to stop,
And the dogs who don't know
When to not come in.

Though the mail comes in,
I open my letter sitting at a wood
Table.
It is from a friend, who wants to know
How
I'm
Doing.
So they care about me.

Oh,
How could I ever leave?
I know I'm needed
And I need you.
I am not going to
Take you away from the world we love.
Through your love,
I'll stay.
I would rather go
On a boat and horse ride
With the people in my life.

And you'll need me
To pull you iut of the water when you drown.
And whenever you're up on the horse,
And you fall,
I'll be there to
Pick you up
Again.

I thought it happened
I don’t remember how many
years ago.
It plays like an old record
and then I’m in rage
throwing rocks at
the oven and tearing books
in half.
I now remember when it was,
it was a memory of
my high school days when
I failed and almost didn’t
graduate.
Verges and fears,
memories and mediation,
morality and reality,
****
it all.
Remembering how the door
was slammed in my face
because someone didn’t
get their way.
Looking back to the locker room
where every leader standing
only to hear themselves talk.
Listen!
Hear this from me,
you won’t regret listening.
Be the great person you
want to be and
shut the hell
up about it.
Every moment is someone
elses bad memory.
You looked at me then
and saw the most insecure
little thing.
Look at me now and
see the most angry and
Idiotic person in the
world.
Trying to move past,
trying to let it all be gone,
what if it happens again?