Am I going where I want to go, or where I should?

He looked at her and asked " and who are you to decide the fate of all of thoughts in pain?"
  "I am the one who has felt there pain, how they are more stubborn than a charging bull, or the hole they swear that is there instead of a beating heart.

I feel everything they feel that is why I can decide there fate, because I have felt there pain, there loss, there love, there hope, there anger, because I am them, there mothers, there friends, ever face they have ever seen. I am everything so there fate is mine.

We thing of it so humble
it is true stability
all we want is for everyone to get along  

But our egos and our beliefs always come first
we are a stubborn kind we are mundane
so for that we are cursed with forever ciaos

Geometry
French
Earth Science
The thing forced opon me to learn
Thing i will propel never truly coprehend

But somehow they will better me
This I will never understand
Why can't I learn what I want to
Why can't I break free I this prison?

As the winter blows out side, and I sit here inside this cliché café.
I wonder what happen to me back in thoughts old days that made be laugh and play all day.

Trust me I love the cold.
But everyday it seams harder and harder to go out there in the cold.

It maybe the things I have learned,
or the things I've lost.

What ever it  may be I hope the cold winter days will still love me,
and will wait for me to love them the way I did when I was young once again.

I would like to start out saying thank you for all the work you made
for thoughts side comments in your books that make me want to have met you
I would just like to let you know that people are still reading your books
and if I may say you are a true writer that will last past my death
and you inspire me to be the same
so thank you
               from,
                           a true lover of your work

It must be you thick Swedish accent

Or the way your smell raps around me as I pass you in the hallway

Or your dark skin and smooth complexion

Or thoughts looks you give me

You see that darling  is why you make me happy

If only I had the corage to talk to you it would make me really happy

10.) what have I done that's good this year?
9.)have I changed?
8.)if so for better or worst?
7.)what have I learned?
6.)what have I seen?
5.)who have I meet that changed me?
4.)have I stayed true to me?
3.)where is this journey of mine going to take me?
2.)am I happy?
1.)am I following my dreams?

Godless happiness, conservative mind
Blue eyed, blonde hair criticized
Big talk no bite
Vegetarian life
Life ***** when you have none
I scream.
Ruts ****

Art is not beauty, but beauty is art

If you knew you were to die?
The exact time.
What would you change?
How would you tell people, or would you?
Would you totally change your life?
How would you take if  you knew you were going to die?
Would you tell people things you swore to take to the grave?
So my friends, act like you do know when it going to be your time.
Do every crazy stupid thing you ever wanted to do.
Because you don't know when your going to die, and that to me is the scary thing.

1.)I am a terrible person, but I can be incredibly nice in the flip of coin
2.)I listen to what some people would say is weird
3.)I quite a sport cause I didn't feel passionate about it
4.)I have never kissed a boy (refer to #1)
5.)I am absolutely terrible at school
6.)I drink to much caffeine for someone my age
7.)I don't sleep like at all
8.)I have no life
9.)I read books a lot (refer to #8)
10.)I am ******* terrified of the world and what it thinks of me

Do you ever catch yourself not writing?
or dreading it?

its scary to think something you love
something you passionate about will be forgotten

that fear of losing that love

I crave the dark skies I had in my country life
where the stars would shine so bright
not like these artificial lights

I miss the noise of the night creatures
not the night life and laughter

I miss thoughts night when only the moon lit the night skies
thoughts skies I so often crave

its time for me to stop telling people I don't know what my future holds.I think I say I don't know what I want to be is because I don't want to hear there comments to say things like, "well don't you think that's a tough business?"
or worst of all "do you really think your cut out for it?"

my answer will be "yes its going to be hard but its my dream."
they will say "why don't you just find another dream?"

"because when you feel something in your soul that makes you smile, cry, and scream all at the same time. that's when you have to follow your dream."

so my friend, do you feel that deep in your soul? that feeling that makes you almost burst what do you do? do you ignore that? if you do, I almost  feel sorry for you. and to you that do, do it and feel it, and follow that feeling. its time to scream your dream from roof tops and mountain tops. dream my friends dream.

brothers
so different you would never believe they had the same mother
best friends
always looking out for one another
men
to see the world and call it there own
fathers
both grown, wives and children of there own
both together they grew, both  lived, they were always together almost one. until.
alone
one stands at the grave of the others
now they lay side by side forever just as they lived. together.

she walks eyes closed
the told her "open your eyes there a world to see"
"not yet" she says
"there are trees,  mountains, and birds, just open up and see"
"I'm not ready" she replied
"there is so much to see my dear, just open your eyes"
"its not time" she cried
"there is  a world to see, a world with everything to see"
"the time isn't now" she told
when she did opened her eyes for the first time, she told them all "sometimes you have to hear the world before you see it, and you have to wait. Because then when you do see it you know the world didn't have to wait but maybe you did."

I get it.  Your life is a challenge but so its mine.
I know what your going through. And friend I just need to let you know I love you.
No matter how mad annoyed or saddened we get with one another
or the distance  we create with one another
I love you
and I hope you always remember

I am unseen in a room with many eyes

that smell that tells you its here
as I ride the trail
my nose getting cold I remember why I fell in love with fall
as my father turns the bend out of sight I close my eyes
breath in the beauty
ride past the walkers, joggers, and the slow riders
it's the perfect day
hearing the animals run in the woods
the leaves dancing down with painted lively colors
I reminds me of the times when we use to rake the leaves and jump
these days remind me why I love my home
why I could imagine living in any other place
the cold the warm, god it makes you love all life

its not a special day
just a day like ever other
but today we decide our fait
today we burn the bridges
today we fight
today we dance
today.
today was certainly a wonderful day

the sad thing about life, I doesn't care
if your mom died or your dad
I doesn't care if you cry yourself to sleep
Life just goes on and we have to go along with it
or well be stuck sitting all alone  
so get up and go with it because its going to leave you if you don't

brown, black, or blue there beauty shines with a sparkle in their eyes.

fear me.
because I am one, that sees the world through the eyes of the skies
I see the world's  hate, war , death
we look to each other brothers sister, and we see strangers
we are one of the same but we fight for what's 'right'
do not judge me for being a woman
do not judge others by faith, or race
we are the same in the inside
yes we may look, speak, believe different but we are man
were the same spices so please, put aside these different ways and look at our home as it dies.
you may look away as the acid rain comes down but were not here to rule, were here to be as one and help all not just us, our home.
so world, what shall we do?

It may rain down red rain
there may be a pit of eternal flame
and you still ask me why I don't believe?

I don't believe that someone parted the red sea
or that his son would rise again
sorry I don't believe

you may think there is a greater power
but I don't so please stop forcing it on me
its just my belief

Life's a storm that never clears but instead gets worse till the skies black, then it rains the tears you hold

my heads too* young, my eyes too* old

Green grass, large trees
The world around nothing but rustling leaves,and a million sounds, but none that honking horns or engine rumbles
Nature is the perfect place

The fact that the music we listen to defines us
If its country, your a hick
indie, hipster
folk, hippie
heavy metal, ****
why can't music just be free?
why dose it define?
why judge by the thing that brings us pleasure?
I can't stand it

that is, why?
hate, love, death
why?
these things are so important to us, why?
Well I guess  its the things that are such an impact on our lives
I guess that's what were here for to figure it out in our own way
To answer this of life
But hey who knows right?

Sometimes I wish that there wasn't pain
or it would just go right
or they wouldn't have left
or that happiness was forever
I just wish all the loss I've felt would have never been
the people that passed lived forever
but that's the thing with wishes... they never come true

We were close, closer than my sisters
I trust them with every inch of my soul
I loved them so
My friends they stopped, they no longer talk
I still love them so, but we've drifted  away
now I'm alone
I miss my friends

awkward tans, hand stands
a child laughter, memories made forever
these are the best times,
we  laugh, swim, play till dark tucks the light away
family, friends, and lovers
all make these moment in the heat that much better
goals of life are made in these times of heat
  some achieve, some never will succeed
All I know is that this time of the year never fails
not even in the worst times it some how always turns out to be all right

Love cant be solved,  we all know it makes  insane.

I have many fears some are grand are some petty
I always fear what lays beyond, when it all ends
my life is one what will I do, will I be proud or will I regret?
I wish I knew but I also don't , I don't want to know when its going to happen.

also my fear of standing up, for my dreams
will I follow these or will I push out like all the rest?
will I see all, or will I never leave, if I do stay I will scream

I wish I knew if I will fail or conquer
but I will just have to live a life of fear.
but these fears are not bad they remind me
to push on and do what needs to be done
to life this wonderful life, to take these fears and laugh,
and ask why I feared them?

We may be younger than you
We may look weaker than you
We may look smaller than you
Useless, nothing but helpless
Lesser


The different between us is that we are dreamers
We dream to one day be big and tall
Stronger, brave, unstoppable


So do not look down on us
Because we look up at you
Be the unstoppable ones, the brave, the stronger ones
The dreamers