I lost a chance I never had
A wild imagination
Running free in a field of over-confidence
Jumping the streams of unconscious denial
Climbing the mountain of my insecurities
A mirage of hope is a desert
I stop to catch my breath
As I try to capture the chance
But it escapes my grasp
Time after time
All I ever wanted was a chance
But all I ever got
Was a dream

This shouldn't be a goodbye
But more a farewell
But not a farewell
Maybe a see you later
You saved me from myself
And taught me how to thrive
Without you I don't know
Where I'd be
With your help
I'm free and loved
I will never forget
Our times bumping music
Rap
To EDM
To alt rock
To even my favorite songs
That one time
Outside our dorm
There were the parties
There were the failures
And the successes
The losses
And the wins
You shielded me from evil
Without covering my eyes to it
I can't explain how
You changed my life
You made me see
I am not the devil
I am no demon
I deserve to live
To be loved
There was that night
Do you remember that night
I laugh and I laugh
At how I fell
Into the bushes
And I knew you would pull me up
Like you do every time I fall
I can't be mad at you
I can't because I know
That you've done more for me
Than I can repay
Crushing drinks
Eating pizza
Lighting my room
With strips of color
I can't list off
How you helped me
Feel normal
I'm not made fun of
Because I'm not the outcast
Instead I'm that guy
With a few savage comments
And a quirky sense of humor
Instead of a bad sense
From my darkest hour
You reached into the dark
And pulled me free
Inch by inch
Day by day
Success by success
Win by win
One by one
When you told me
Not to look back
One year
Or two
Or five
Not to see the evil
Of my past
But instead to see
The beauty of my future
And as you go off
To real life
You need to know
What I have to say
Before you go to war
You need to hear
These words
You are my brother
You are my friend
You are my hero
You are my green light
You are my starting line
You are my finish line
My goal
I want you to know
That the world
Will change
As will we
But I will never forget
What you've done for me
And although you're not a fan of him
I have to quote Jon Bon Jovi
He says:
"This isn't how the story ends
My friends it's just a fork along the road
Don't say your prayers
Say your amens
You've come this far
But you're still far from home
Don't say goodbye
Just say farewell
Write every line
You'll live to tell
Hold your head high
Like Harry
Give 'em hell"
He knows
What I want to tell you
Because I can't be you
For you
But I can try
To guide you
To stay you
To stay true
To the values
You put in me
For one day
I will see the karma
As you become a millionaire
And find love
And you'll look back
And know that I've been wishing
For this upon you
Because of all you did
For me
Thank you

I before E
But not in weird
I over E
Intelligence over emotion
But not in me
I'm weird
I'm a mess
My thoughts are
Me as a different person
Looking into the distance
trying to see myself as
Normal
Normal isn't a thing
It's not real
At least that's
What they say
When I beg
To be normal
But I'm weird
I'm strange
I'm a stranger to
Those I love
And those I want to
Please don't leave
Please forgive me
For being
So
So
Very
Weird

I’ve said it before
I’ll say it here again
I wear a bug spray
That only works
On butterflies
I want to be a flower
But all I get is bees
I get stung
And I back away
I am approached
By cockroaches
Everyday
Every Year
Trying to gain from me
I attract mosquitos
Bloodsucking parasites
I have these people
Who want me
To do what they want
Then they leave
My lifeblood
My friendship
Gone forever
With my time
I want to swat
Those mosquitos
And crush them
Before they can leave
Someday I will
Get rid of this spray
At least that’s
What all my friends say
But I don’t know
The spray is permanent
Maybe I’m cursed
Or maybe I just need
A bath
In the water of friendship
And to fly with
My dragonfly
My wingman
And maybe
My friend

It's been too long
Since I saw your face
It's been too long
Since I told you
I love you
But would you hear me
If I said it again?
It's been too long
Since I sang to you
I hugged you
I kissed you
I loved you
It's been too long
Since I said
I need you
It's been too long
Since I let you know
I see you
And I fall in love
It's been too long
Since I wrote that song
Outside the school
About rain
But in the sun
It's been too long
Since love could see
All you mean
It's been too long
Since I lay my head
On your shoulder
And imagined
Wedding bells
Singing our love
As I kiss you
And promise
I am yours
Forever
It's been too long
Since I could slip
A love letter
Into your backpack
One that says
What Jon Bon Jovi
Says about love
"Love isn't a merry-go-round
It's a roller coaster"
It's been too long
Since I rode
That roller coaster
The ups are
Worth the downs
It's been too long
Since we were us
Like the new single
From Bon Jovi
Three days
After your birthday
you are just barely
Twenty-one
It's been too long
Since we were us
It's been too long
Since I had love
It's been too long
Since life was good
It's been too long
Since I had the love
Of the perfect person
Like a click
Of a puzzle
As you complete
Me

The moment was brief
I don't even know
If it registered
In your mind
But I fell for you
And I'll never get up
Because I don't want to
I want to stay here
Face to the ground
Hearing the heartbeat
Of the Earth
As you breathe
Deeply, slowly
I want to sense you
Above me
As you always have been
I want the colors
Of the sky at sunset
To paint a portrait
Of you
But the portrait
Would be an insult
To who you really are
A shallow rendition
Of how you really feel
And all you can do
I want to shower you
With diamonds and pearls
Chocolates and kisses
But I’m not the one for you
You’ll end up with
The quarterback
And I’ll end up with
Myself
Once again

Every day is a performance
I perform the dance of pretending
That I don’t care about you above all
I’d die for a kiss
But I wouldn’t lie for a kiss
I would never lie to you
But I still have to perform
I still have to act
I still have to play a role
In this out of tune musical
I still have to be the sob story
But all I want
Is to be the love story
I wish I could write the plot
I wish I could change it
To a dance number
Where we dance to music
Only we can hear
Now that’s a performance