There's a noose around your neck,
where you've hung your expectations
Too high.

You scream urgency
Like an accident and emergency
waiting room,
like a person relapsing into addiction,
Because they pushed themselves
too soon.
And there are claw marks in the soil,
Where you've tried to get to grips,
with solid ground,
There's a danger in your voice,
Like a lost child waiting to be found,
And you string sentences at a time
but no sound emits.
Danger, like,
Racing cars and frightened cries,
And there are holes in your back,
Formed by the lies,
You've been subjected too
And i wonder if i could use them
To breath life back into you.
I wonder if i get close enough,
If i could see,
The dreams and memories,
Before they turned stale
And congealed in your veins,
And left you entangled in the remains.
The valleys of your eyes,
Run wide and down deep,
And when you weep,
Your tears fall heavier,
Than a ten tonne van,
You're a shadow of the man,
You used to be,
And even your shadow,
Has deserted you,
Sought someone anew.
And your foundations
Are built on heartache and pain,
And those little tear ducts in your eyes,
Constantly rain,
But you you're in a draught,
All the love you've showered others in
Means you've ran out,
for yourself,
And your health is a picture
Of cigarettes and late night drinks,
Old whiskey, poured down sinks,
And you're reaching the brink,
The breaking point,
But you quite like the sound,
Of broken plates,
And you quite like the taste,
Of self destruction.
And there's a ghost,
Where you used to be,
Haunting the curves
Of your smile,
That you paint on,
Why you defile
Your skin,
This terror your living in,
Could start a thousand wars,
And this battle your fighting,
Inside of your mind,
Leaves a carcus, a morsel,
Of yourself behind.
Your insides stick to the past,
Like double sided cello tape,
And there are windchimes in your spine,
Where your bones should be,
And your heart on your sleeve,
Is clouded,
By red marks where you've sliced open your skin,
In at attempt to be free,
Of those demons, the sin,
For a new beginning.
There's toxic in your lungs,
And a noose around your neck,
Where you've hung your expectations
Too high,
And you're hanging by a thread,
And tying knots the further down you slip,
As you sip,
Another shot of courage.
But there's only so long,
One can hold on for,
And believe me I've been down
To the depths of hell and danced with the devil
On many occasions,
And the sheer frustration,
Of the attempts to be patient,
Are wearing thin,
Like the warm skin, that stretches,
Over your protruding bones.

And the memories we so lovingly crafted, like a child building sandcastles by the sea, will forever wash over me.

In the summer,
Embers of sunshine,
dance in the pupils of your eyes
As you wave your goodbyes,
To those cries,
Those April showers,
That have held you in their powers
For so long.

In the summer,
You open our arms to each day,
As you watch the old decay,
and lay
In the creases of your past,
Grounded on soft grass.

In the summer,
You shimmer and fly high,
With each laugh
that tumbles across you lips,
Each movement of your hips.

In the summer,
Flickers of hope,
elope,
at the curves of your smile,
Like ice cold, lemon juice,
You are glowing, glittering,
Reveling in your youth.

In the summer,
You are shards of blooming flowers,
Peacefully scattered between hours,
spent, laying content,
In your skin.

In the summer,
You are a work of art,
Handed down through the
passages of time
You sparkle and shine,
and the moon does not confine,
Such beauty.

In the summer,
Stars fizzle on your tongue,
as you sing a song,
that reminds you of long ago,
And in the summer
You plant cherry trees,
Serenity.

In the summer,
You lay contently for hours,
and the present it sours,
As grey skies,
Blanketed with reality,
Set upon you and me.
Whilst in the summer you are free,
Every victory,
has its losses,
And every summer
must become history.

So the sun may set
In the pupils of your eyes,
And those goodbyes you waved to your cries,
May resurface,
but the furnace inside of you,
Blazes so bright,
You don't need the sunlight,
To ignite the fight,
That lays dormant in your veins,
so as you lay in the remains and
Seeds of doubt become rife,
As you battle with lifes strife,
Never forget
That there'll always be tomorrow,
So don't you dare,
sit in sorrow, or shed a tear,
face your days with dear,
Because as soon as one summer is gone,
Another is near.

So the flower beds we laid upon
May become rotten,
And that laugh of yours may be forgotten,
But for what its worth, my love,
The memories we lovingly crafted,
like sand castles by the sea,
Will forever spend their days,
Washing upon the shore,
That is me.

Mental illness does not define us,
we define it.