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 Mar 2018 empty seas
may
wHaT iF
 Mar 2018 empty seas
may
Laying in a dark room gazing at a ceiling fan
Bundled within the mountain of pillows and blankets that drape my bed
The ones around me are already dreaming
And only the soft beat of my heart and calming breathe could be heard
It's times like this when my mind wonders off and the question without answers arrive



What if I did make the decision to move out of state?
How different of a person would I have been?

What if my parents never got a divorce?
Would I be an older sister to just one sibling instead of two?

What if I knew exactly what to say at exactly the right time?
How would my last relationship be holding up?

What if I truly loved myself and was overflowing with courage and boldness?
Would people still like me?



As the night goes on I catch myself still thinking of these 'what if' statements
Or maybe they just never leave my mind
Classifying these as simple "Late Night Thoughts" would be an understatement
 Mar 2018 empty seas
may
Dear A,
 Mar 2018 empty seas
may
The relative I am most fond with
I could never thank you enough
for everything that you've done for me
Forever standing by my side
Picking me up when I am down
And making me laugh more than anyone ever has

You are always there to listen to my troubles
And give me the advice I need to hear
I can tell you everything without the fear of judgement I might silently receive from some of my friends
You've helped realize what kind of person I was becoming
And showed me how to break through that wall that was visible to everyone but me
The one that held me back from everything I've ever needed

I know you are enduring some things that only time could heal
You've moved your whole life to this small town
At first it didn't impact you
This is what we've been hoping would happen for so long
But then it hit
And everything slowly became a reality
I can't help but to feel guilty for not being able to help you
You always claim that you're okay
That me listening is enough

And as I write this poem
I realize that just might be true

Again, thank you.
 Mar 2018 empty seas
She Writes
I’ve found comfort in knowing
No matter where you are
The many miles between
We lie under the same stars

Sometimes I try to guess
which one you’d see
If you were looking up at them
Same as me

I look to the skies
When I’m lost and blue
Trying to find myself
But all I see is you

what do you see when you look to the stars
Do you see me, or just mercury and mars
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