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B E Cults Jul 2021
picture me sawing my
right arm off with a
broken beer bottle
while you go on and on
about what I should be doing
with my life.

this nearness we share
is truly awful.
B E Cults May 2021
I am lead shrapnel centimeters
from the hearts of anyone
who has ever said they loved
me and if you were to ever
meet any of them you would
realize why I love that.
B E Cults Aug 2021
can you be claustrophobic
socially?

an ocean between me everyone
just doesn't seem to cut it.

[budget fx-whatever]

my monsters never needed
to be goaded into anything,
they have always been able
to make a show of things
all on their own.
B E Cults Aug 2021
some wind whispers "please, live".
the wind is just reacting
to the sun. I'll live.
B E Cults Aug 2021
seen this more than sky.
the sky now, this life, I mean.
I am all things, dead.
B E Cults Aug 2021
I am all things, life.
the night sky knows me by [blank].
spinning, spinning slow.
B E Cults Aug 2021
spinning faster now,
this is spiraling now, so
where is the drain now?
B E Cults Aug 2021
there is only now.
"duh" the void says with the voice
of my dead mother.
B E Cults Aug 2021
my head's in covers.
the daytime is enemy.
outlast it, please. please. please.
B E Cults Aug 2021
it's eased by the sun
beaming through the
blinds after dreaming
of falling in love
with green eyed girl,
I don't remember
anymore than that.
B E Cults Nov 2018
it is all dead here;
the birds sing bones awake.
slow is the air
when the sky sleeps.
a fringe to hunger for
when the center dims
all glowing notes
is all we feed hope for.

escaping fangs lazily is
just wraiths scraping ancient
havens clean and leaving.

same old shape-changing...

see the bowl?
see the ocher?
this is us silently slumming
through the rush of present
flesh and far-flung mind;
derelict awareness shared
sparingly.

it's all love though.
B E Cults Jul 2021
sometimes
I feel alone
no matter what

that's a response
to someone who
found me face down
in the mud;
I once breathed through bamboo
for 8 days in a rice paddy
just waiting for the chance
to run.

I'm *** spilled on the deck.
it's something,
isn't it?
B E Cults Jul 2021
where's the bellows at?
where's the bellows at?

I second the heads spinning,
slipping, still as the pond by
your parent's house
is in winter.
center of the spiral;
my fire is full, thanks.

was that the question?
B E Cults Jul 2021
ive been shaking
off a shadow for
most my life;
Ceyx washing up,
rotting,
screaming the loudest.

Alcyone wailing about anything.
B E Cults Nov 2020
static on the TV,
magick bleeding out of a dreamy
yesterday,
passion rots as fast as anything;
think of the storms we could've
forced into morning cups of coffee
if we had ignored all the portents
of war and the war itself.

it's fireflies in a willow tree.

when a fire dies in the future...
**** it.
it doesn't matter.
B E Cults Dec 2020
smile and take it.

meanwhile,  
we are in lotus pose
on a crowded sidewalk
pouring gasoline over our heads.

every mirror is a door.
it's always been like that.
time-lapse.
bend light through the way
fresh bread smells right out of the oven.

i knew your name once
and i believe myself this time.
B E Cults Jun 2021
apples and lavender on the altar,
I light candles for all of you.

all of you.

this is a moment for truth,
for poignancy,
but the solitude I chase
erases all of that.

again, I go back to that "all of you".
this self referential **** is only meant
to deepen my ****** narrative.

call that a good use of "meta"
B E Cults Jul 2021
if you ever want to talk
about Baudelaire
or greenhouses
then I'm your man.

I've clenched my fist enough
in this life.

so have you.
B E Cults Jul 2021
born dead,
I leave it at lore on
a doorstep;
force left me in the street.

I need this;
promises.
homage paid
to the whole
"ostrich with it's head
in the sand" motif.

I hope grief remembers my name.
B E Cults Apr 2020
Cherish that being scared of the future feeling.
It’s just one snare hit on the drum track of some wack ****
you slapped together in mom’s basement on a 8 track sold at her estate sale
and bought by a soundcloud rapper who will just delete the ****
to make one of his lame *** songs.

Youth burns like the oil in old lamps.
Only ever slow clap when it’s the most out of place.
Fold up maps and toss them out rental car windows.
Laugh like a savage drinking blood of his cold axe blade.

It will be ok.
This isn't as much of a battlefield as you're painting it out to be.

Although the carrion still circle overhead though so...
B E Cults Jan 2021
attenuation,
all still nameless and beautiful,
his eyes were open;
the lamp and the shadows.

"departure from the night"
he said endlessly from below
the dark demanding
forgiveness anyway.

the boy in his bones
screams of ravens
on a scarecrow in a
snow-covered corn field.

past time.

the man in his head kneels,
always kneels.
B E Cults Jan 2021
fading,
still nameless and splendid,
his eyes were open to
the lamp and the shadows.

"depart from the night"
he said to the infinity beneath
the dark demanding
absolution anyways.

the boy in his bones
screams at ravens
on a scarecrow in a
snow covered corn field.

time elapsed.

the man in his head is kneeling,
always kneeling.
B E Cults Jan 2021
Honestly, I'm just excited to finally
see the plutonomy putrify;
dead opossum on a highway.
B E Cults Jun 2021
but the moment was so ambrosial,
like snow melting in gorgeous chestnut hair,
like Coltrane's Favorite Things for the hundred-thousandth time,
like the morning Sun shining
through Manuka honey
slowly dripping off my spoon into
the black abyss of my coffee cup.

I am present.
I promise, ya.

I'm indebted to the
wretched headtrips of "yesterday"
for never letting me do more
than whisper a single death wish
(thank you)
between labored breaths.
I'm deathless now.
just flesh stretched tight over bright smiling, and otherwise unbridled,
sunlight in love with just being here to lend the luminosity in the first place.

I only learn of grace
from kids grinning and ripping birthday gifts open in grainy VHS tapes I probably shoplifted from the local thrift shop.
Either there or on park benches
tossing seeds to flocks of pigeons
cooing at my feet.
Did you know they were brought
to this country by immigrant chefs?

Again, I'm present.
Honestly.
I'm as conscious of it all as it gets;
the God of the phenomenological slog
we all call "the now",
unbound from His vow of vigilance
in the watch-and-plot of all apocalyptic
loss of momentum...

my attention span is like
incense smoke curling out of
a monastery window somewhere
in the Himalayas,
like the hidden weight of a whispered "thank you",
like the half empty silver cigarette case rattling in Camus' coatpocket as he walks,
collar up and head down,
to Café de Flore for breakfast.
or lunch.
or...

I'm present.
I promise.
(thank you)
I'm present.
Honest to God.
(thank you)

I'm ******* nowhere.
no, thank you.

I'm present.
B E Cults Nov 2019
Every breath as heavy as
the world, every second a waiting room.

You can’t leave yet.

You can’t.
B E Cults Jul 2021
evoke something.
it's all *******.

until it isn't, right?
different lives,
fire flies on a humid night
in the backyard.

mask scars with sunshine,
kind of...

line after line after line after line.
don't mind us.
Lit
B E Cults Nov 2020
Lit
we are all plot devices.
B E Cults Jul 2021
I'm an optimist, I promise.

a dandelion growing
out of the eye socket
of a chihuahua
rotting in the street.

it's been there for weeks.

for weeks.

for weeks.
B E Cults Nov 2019
in the spring of my life
i levitated everywhere i went
and started wildfires with
just a glance.

now, as my summer ends,
i'm begging strangers
for a light,
hoping they don't notice
the dust and blood on my feet.

it's already getting cold out.
B E Cults Aug 2021
the locus of expanded
war or any armistice...

what that actually means
is something I'll probably
walk into like traffic
in the future,
at some point.

I think,
the way your voice
bounces around
your car is one
of God's hiding places.

[perspective]
B E Cults Aug 2021
every line is a brush stroke.
every word is a loose hair
in the paint.
untold;
our story isn't even in the
crib yet.

[crickets]

crib death.
mad
B E Cults Aug 2021
mad
sun will be up in
less than 4 hours
and I'm still reeling
from how beautiful
her lips looked
from the passenger seat
I watched her talk from.

that was hours ago.

perspectives blur.
please,
blur.
B E Cults Feb 2019
We, the invisible reasons for your problems, blind ourselves to the
dismal inevitability that we will
suffocate because you refuse to stop
the pillaging of the future for the sake of your own ******* lineage being able to further itself and potentially give you a chance to again close your mind and scream as loud as you can when confronted with your own toxicity

We, the ones who humbly take the bludgeoning from your self-proclaimed pious hand, know these chains are only on your bleeding wrists and ankles.

We, the silent and the broken, know Santa Muerta by the nicknames she had in college and all accompanying wildness she brought in her wake.
We still will stroke your hair while you
throw your tantrums and wail about what is and isn't fair on your deathbeds.

We will burn the mattress and all while cheering you on on your flight into the night sky you ignored for a lifetime.

We, the servants of streaming digits and stewards of bottled stardust, will create stories about how it wasn't your fault and how you shouldn't be hated for bringing the world crashing into the excrement of wasted potential so our children know there was a choice to be made.

We, the overly polite pariahs pry laughs and love and lust and learning from looming catastrophe like Burroughs writing Naked Lunch with a glassy eyed stare that burned holes in the veil hiding the tide of partially coagulated blood and ******* that YOUR world preached as milk and honey.

We, the proof in the moldy pudding still finding time to rot, will burn tobacco fields in your honor just to dance while getting drunk on the breaths you'll never waste.

We, the lovers of questions and haters of creeds, let tears stream in the hope that they are not considered part of our body's 75 percent while fantasizing about your ghosts seeing them and the dehydration they may be in spite of and quiet your tired old yelling and shaking of fists at the clouds when overcome by the slight sadness that whispers "its too late" lovingly into your ear.

We, the lovers, the thieves, the reviled, the *******, the witches, the junkies, the ******, the reptiles and worms under the rocks society deems unusable and misshapen, will be the ones lifting the crowns off your corpses and throwing them high as graduates do when full of a hope only ever dashed by themselves.

We, the drooling monsters you vehemently deny anything besides the cramped closets or the space between bed and floor in childhood bedrooms, will be the Valkyries to descend onto the blood-choked battlefield you set aside for your souls to suffer on and offer you respite in the form of soggy bread and wildflower honey while  ravens and jackdaws bicker over the eyes and fingers of those that once showed us how to ride a bike or drunkenly beat us beneath our favorite trees or touched us in dark rooms in ways that would chase Love away from the shadow of our hearts until we finally climbed high enough to see it all as someone screaming of war and bravery while running from the sound of steel biting steal because their protectors talked so highly of honor and duty that it seemed as if it were God and Adam touching fingertips on the arched ceilings of youth. that, then was painted on the crumbling walls of abandoned houses they would secretly indulge on the forbidden fruit soaking pages of a faded **** magazines or up skirts of blushing  girls who put on their mother's prudishness until fingers pushed past
cotton and virtue alike to the warm center they both melted in.

We, the unsung and numb, walk in spirals while the complexity you rebuked as devil-born becomes the sigils of yet-to-be kingdoms bringing about golden age after golden age in the distant mists rolling over hills and valleys of memories of moments yet to coalesce into rigid experience.

We, the eyes weeping blood atop crumbling pyramids, have seen the walls you want to build in futures dissolved in the winds blowing dust over the dream-roads we skip down and how it resembles the one you built to keep your heart from breaking from the pressing mass of what you can't file away as noise or heresy or communist propaganda;
We drew throbbing ***** and dripping ***** on all the blueprints we came across and tucked them back into the secret compartments of wardrobes and roll-tops passed down through generations.

We, the keepers of the singing stones you traded for cheap concrete, will embrace the tiny souls you neglected out of ignorance to the existential snake oil pitch you broke every tooth biting down on all because the salesman reminded you of your drunk father or mother imposing their wills like you make shadow puppets dance on peeling wallpaper in the silence that ensued after they had passed out on creaky couches reeking of Lucky Strikes and spilled ***** while the shine of the staticky T.V. set covered them like the blanket no one ever put over their slumbering forms because of those infinite lists of excuses used to skirt the skirmishes of showing any kind compassion even if they alone were sole witness to it.

We, the pieces of self the deathbed "you" sent hurtling backwards through time to shine lights on the siege seething at the gates of what you stand for, are only holding those lanterns to show you that fleeing is futile and your death is just a hallway with a door that leads to the knowledge that life is not a cell to watch time morph into tally lines scratched into cold stone as if they were epitaphs for the seconds bet and lost at the roulette table crafted from any slave ship the ocean never swallowed.

We, the flames mimicking those dancing girls you longed to have squeal under the idea of your thrusting masculinity amidst the graffiti on the bathroom stalls in seedy dive-bars or the paupers playing prince you follow giggling with hope in hand like a bouquet of baby's breath and daisies for that one day they would stop and turn and smile so handsomely that your knees would shatter against one another and wedding chapels would bend down to tie tin cans to bumpers of beat up Buicks and Oldsmobiles your fathers give dowry and the crowd could watch "just married" poorly written in shaving cream on the back window grow small until it disappeared over the horizon.

We, the dreamers, are tired of sleeping and are in need of a old tree to swing from, to bury our dreams like beloved pets under, and watch as it lets its leaves fall to the hungry earth that is more patient then anyone closed eyed and humming ancient syllables beneath crooked branches could ever be.

All the trees you climbed and kicked and fell in love under have died from too many hearts around intials being carved into them or were used to make fascist pamphlets you yourself passed out at churchs mistaking the mask with bone structure or the river for the people it swept to sea.

We are laughing;
like a loving mother at her clumsiness on display in her cackling child and not like the crowds gazing at the sideshow stage as the curtains pull back and stage lights illuminating John Merrick's flesh and the intricate dissonance it lent to minds.
Minds that afforded only sips of bliss as monotonous stints on factory floors but were preached about like they were some heaven-sent golden cobblestones laid lovingly all the way
to the beach where Heimdall will one day sound his horn, one foot feeling the grit of the edge of the world and the other washed clean for the grave we will all step in.

So, all these words, all these images, all of it is intended to be a moon so all the stagnate tide pools that have forgotten their origin and the freedom they used to give form to lesser forms they forage forgetfulness from.

We, the ones beneath you on the climb to the summit of our collective potential, beg you to think of something beside yourself when taking a ****.

It is not just ******* in the wind if there isnt wind and we are right below you and dying of thirst.

It is not an inalienable right if someone else is deprived of the same.

It is not Heaven's gate if the brilliant gild has a melting point or if it remains latched to any soul's approach.

It is not "liberal *******" or a myth if whole flocks of birds fall from the sky or schools of fish wash up on beaches while people snap photographs for their feed.

It is not "god" if love dispels it like smoke hanging in the kitchens your great grandmother sat in and told you about a witch shapeshifting into dogs without heads to scare drunks stumbling home because she was a ******* racist.

It is not just food if someone's organs fail from starvation that even the worms and flies are free from.

You wave your banners and let your war-horns echo and you wear your ignorance as armor.

We, the eaters of life and death, will chisel a name into stone and pick your bones clean if you think we should march to the sounds of drums and trumpets just because you were stupid enough to think it was anything other than your masters convincing you to whip yourselves ****** because "at least God hath been kind enough to give you a purpose" or "he works in mysterious ways".

**** that.

Look at what it has brought out of the swirling sea of " all that could be" while you write the same song about how shiny and numerous the scales of the prize are.

We are not responsible for pillaging God's bounty.

We are the bounty and our emptiness and lack of foresight are in jeweled bowls at your feet, but in your hubris you believe it to be the slaves that come to wash the dirt from between your toes.

We are Death and She is the wet-nurse that will give us intimacy to fertilize our hearts by refusing us her breast but turning our heads to your silhouettes shambling off the edge of existence far off in the distance only a decade or less could be confused for.

[AS ONE VOICE WE SING/SANG/HOWL:
Lux amor potentia restituant propositum dei in terris.]

As if it were as easy as holding the hand of a dying tyrant afraid they cannot the luminous terminus while wearing your father's face as a mask to trick radiant angels or the contortions of gods reeking of struck matches by those trembling and their swirling black hearts closed to the breeze carrying leaves celebrating their liberation and caressing a cheek they were too ashamed to kiss when opportunity was their ally.

We shouldn't hate these piles of skulls all parroting the same axioms to those who only show up to add another or leave an empty bottle turned into a candle holder, wax dripped down the neck and froze before any trace of tallow could finally unite with the dirt it longs to become one with;
icicles hanging from the eaves of abandoned asylums.

This place was supposed to be alot of things but that is what lead THEM to drown in the sound of buzzing bees, birdsong, and abundance in all directions.

I suggest we stop trying to squeeze it into a shoebox we scribbled Promised Land on and just let it be the open armed paradise it inherently is.
Let it be the heart and home as well as the hostile territory because it is only ever that and what we wont find in any Oracle's Prophecy.

I'll end my rambling with a question and it's answer.

How do you turn a police station into a hospital and a schoolhouse?

Burn it to the ******* ground.
This is me pushing sentences to the max. Sentences that just shamble on through the space they themselves create.
Monks and magick practitioners use trance states to penetrate deeper.
I stretch these sentences which stretch your conscious mind's attention span well past being interested letting my imagery embed itself somewhere you'll realize is there farther down the ro
B E Cults Jul 2021
falling apart,
its hardly even art;
I'm growing a fig tree
in an army green ***
on the back porch.

desideratum,
***** at my back,
friends overdosed on whole
pillars of salt long ago.

falling,
falling,
falling.
half the path is overgrown.

I venerate it anyway
and keep on strolling.
B E Cults Aug 2021
what's the quick and *****
on this whole
"I keep waking up" ****?

I mean,
everytime ive taken a bite
of the proverbial dust
I wake up like it
was just a dream.

[vida es muerte es...]
stop.

tell it to me in binary code
so it takes as long as it can.
ive been alone for too long.

I apologize for how pathetic
that sounds.
B E Cults Mar 2020
Abraxas in the bathroom mirror,
I am not here perpetually.

Krakens in the coffee creamer,
"here" is a relative term.

Massive is the pile of things
I'll never get around to touching,
my relative's calls are all forwarded
to voicemail.

Worry is a meal all it's own.
B E Cults Mar 2020
The days are becoming too many bricks
through one window
or too much hornet soju before hitting
the next noodle spot.

Old news like the petrichor.

The walls are screaming "pick up the pen"
like it's so simple to not sip the sickness
out of this distance and call it a friend.

Mentally melting,
sell it quick,
sell it quicker.
The market's on nose-dive.

Stuck and helpless but on a slow climb
to mindful of what "self-as-center" gets.

I guess this isnt idleness...
B E Cults Nov 2020
bodhisattva,
hotbox a square in the lobby
of every hotel at once.
la di ******* da.
"try to stop me" is written in
the auric field,
Lorca in front of the firing squad.
of course it's **** or be built better
by anybody else afterwards.
bet.
i cash checks from the cancer-verse,
dead to whatever panders
to a standard first.
push me out this ******* window.
please.
i need to touch earth urgently.
I need to simplify all of this
balled fist twist and turn ****
burning around me.
don't listen to me.
i'm howling at the moon in my memory.
i'm not new to the entropy.

you know this though.
you know this.
B E Cults Aug 2021
white owls in the trees.
it might be the reverse.
this might or might not
have been rehearsed.
absurdity.
verdigris.
kintsugi.
lucidly losing things,
it's ******.

it's ******.
[off screen mutiny]
B E Cults Aug 2021
"put all the cash in the bag
and pass it to me all slow-like"

Camille Claudel


this was in my notepad.
for some reason.
just as much of one of
my usual as any of the usual
though, so...
B E Cults Jul 2021
hare Rama, hare Krishna.

I'm rabbits running through
a field of barley swaying in
a breeze that reeks of a
Mcdonalds
on fire.

think dreams,
and not breathing.

I'm stars; screaming my name,
your name, our many names,
all night, every night.

delete me, please
B E Cults Aug 2020
chipping away the dead grey rock
around violent-pink tourmaline with sweat
dripping from our brows.
tick,
tick,
tick.

i read your name in my cigarette smoke and turned my phone off.

lost,
boards squeek beneath handmade imported rugs,
fingers brush polished brass candelabra,
bulbs burst behind locked doors.
tick,
tick,
tick,
tick.

phones never turn back on,
smoke stains cheap wallpaper,
and eyes were never windows.
B E Cults Feb 2020
I can turn a bright morning
into a nightmare as good as any.

it doesnt mean i want to.

so every moment not alone
is "too many cooks" to me.

it doesnt mean i want that either.
B E Cults Jul 2021
last two cigarettes,
a lot more beer,
I didn't buy more of the former
because the corner store
is too ******* high;
I'm at a bodega and I remember everything.

half right.
half-life,
half light;
I laugh in reverse sometimes.
B E Cults Jul 2021
the pillars holding up
my tranquil sky
started trembling
quite some time ago.

just biding my minutes,
biting my nails.
it's a bad habit
I picked up along the way;
ive got alot of them.

I'm working on that.

when the pillars finally
crumble I hope they transmute
into butterflies before a nimbus
even kisses the dirt.

hopefully.
B E Cults Sep 2019
What depth does the foundation
of my bastion of atoms
crack at?

The adversary,
that nefarious nature
laughing madly throughout the ages,
knows the cracks by heart
I'm told.

He could speak of the stones ground
to dust under the glacier of my soul
for days without repeating himself.

Then he has to know I'm a sucker for romance.

I hear a low hum constantly.

Imagine diamonds falling
in slow motion,
facets catching light,
soundtracked by
Whiter Shade of Pale.

I've long since mastered
the subtle art of getting sidetracked.

I'm also told younger generations
can hear electricity or something.
Still doesn't account for the hum
because the fridge sounds
like talk radio.
Cheers to weird, me bruthers!
B E Cults Jun 2021
my tarot deck fell between
my ocean blue wall and my bed.
I pulled up what I thought was all of them.

no.

the missing only numbered one though,
Strength.
B E Cults Feb 2021
"I said, there is home."
to nobody.
different names never changed
a **** thing.
we could see no people
to/who/that learn how idle
doesn't mean "still".
they've made a god of progress;
progress is toothpaste in a sink.

who couldve sown those ideas
together had they not been
all blinking buzzing neon sign
in the window of the page?

probably quite alot of folks
had they not been so busy
wiping dried blue Colgate off
of porcelain.

simple, remember?

so it goes.
always.
dosey doe down long hallways,
around puddles of ****,
singing songs long faded
to ambient noise.
please, mumble a myth for the void to posion.
the void in your avoidance.
the void in the poignancy.
the void on the points of stolen steak knives stuck in the hearts of the strigoi
shuffling outside our windows
day and night.

drip gold from the mouths of memorial statues,
we need that.
badly.
I cut up to make new connections in MY network of association. anytime there is rigidity it means that's how the words were on the page.  if you enjoy this aimlessness then you are blood of my blood. the majority dont get it because they think something is here to "get". this is the 3rd cut ive posted here that came from Faulkner's Light In August. I cant stand Faulkner. so I vandalize his work. hate me. I love it. I love all of you.
B E Cults Dec 2020
how do you look at your phone
and not scream with every cell
in your body?
the kind of scream you hear
aboard a landing 737
between the second unexpected
roll to the left
and the cold indifferent ground.

our reality is the back window
of a ash grey Mercedes left
in the path of France's
2019 May Day Protest
and I havent quite figured out
exactly what the Louisville Slugger
is or all of what's written  
on it actually says;
I tried, but I don't believe
I could even make it out
if I did speak French.
I don't.
the ash smashes the windows.
I know.
this, of course, is doggeral.
this, is me, the writer whose
dodgy skill level he himself
brought up to distract
from the dodgy skill level
that he himself brought up.

the blinking red light
on an answering machine
in a late 90s living room
in the suburbs of Anywhere, America
will keep on blinking until the
End-of-All-Things takes...

There are rooms in the rooms
in this one.
Quarter Moon resembling
the blade's edge of a curved
skinning knife held
over all of our heads.

flesh, meat?
meat, flesh?
steel reflecting gleaming steel
reflecting in the blood covered
floor of some abatoir.

best of luck to you All.
someone loves you.
B E Cults Nov 2018
in your light i feel small,
fragile,
gossamer struggling with
the morning dew.
each bead is a word i almost
choke on,
reflecting tiny sky,
reflecting you.

where are the spiders that
spun me?
where are the gods that
molded you?

i couldn't care less if those
questions ever get answers.
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