There

My back
Pressed hard

The hard plastic
Digging into my skin

Agonizing pain on more
Agonizing pain

I try to flashback
Just to convince myself
It didn’t happen
But I remember so little

Just the cries
And the drinks
And the pain

i trusted you
I opened up to you
And you ruined me

You took what you wanted
You did as you pleased
And then you pinned it all on me

Without losing you
I never would have arrived here
Where were you?
When my world went crashing down
And I thought my life was over

She says I was mean to you
And that you don’t tell the whole truth
And obviously you don’t
Because than she would know
All the times you hurt
Cheated
Lied

But those days are in the past
And without them,
We never could have arrived so
Wondrously
Here.

broken and
shattered on the floor
worried
you don’t want
this anymore

i love you

The way you loved him
Fast
Wreckless
Crazy
Was unhealthy

The way I loved him
Carefully
Splendidly
Fearlessly
Was heaven

So why
is he sticking around
to be with you
for longer
for more
forever

Why am I here
yet again
on the
side
lines

Watching a game
I could be winning
but instead
I have to cheer for
the opposing team

Burning
Flickering
Lost in the wind

What power we once had
Has turned into
Sin

Intense passion
Slowly fading
Dying

Stagnant love
Turned into a glimmer
In my eyes I thought would never return

Until I realized that to you
My life is a fun game
My heart just
A puzzle that you keep putting
Together
And taking apart

My hopes fly high
My dreams soar
“I’ve never felt like this before”
Just to hear you say

You choose her but of course
I’m still important
Because of course
What fun is love if there’s no drama
And no one willing to lay down their life for you

Why not pit me against them all
Why not laugh at the pure chaos
You’ve created
And don’t regret one bit

Sometimes late at night
When I’m alone in the car
Or walking down a dark path
The fear reminds me of you
I feel your fingers on my skin
The paralyzing dread
The lightness and harshness of your fingertips
The things you whispered in my ear
As I lay there
Awake but terrified
And I think of the cowards way out you took
And the shame you brought
And the excuses you made

All lies
To make me look bad
For something you did
Things you said,
Touched

If this was a movie
You’d be here by now

So thank god it isn’t