Tuesday, July 16th

To my darling ex boyfriend, whom I thought was divine but instead was a divine joke:

It feels like ****** being shot through my addicted veins.
Like I'm on a high and I can't come down.
It feels like I'm flying above the clouds,
Through the stars and into extraterrestrial territory.

It's almost a sick feeling.
So good that I might just throw up from it.
I'm woozy and light headed but I can't help but smile
At the thought of your panic.

I've outed you.
Your secret is known to the public world now.
You've already lost at least one friend,
and now I wonder how you'll feel when you lose more.

You can call me petty if you want to;
cold-hearted, even.
But you should've known never sneak up on a Black Widow.
If you do,

It's clear that you'll be bitten.

-The Spider


07/16/19

I was on the phone with my best friend Blondie,
When she said some words that really shocked me.
She said, though I know she was joking,
"Maybe you need to stay away from people who make you feel like that,
Because it always ends horribly!"
I thought it was silly,
That she could only be kidding.
But then her words rang in my ears
Like bells doing bidding.
Love is supposed to come slow,
Over years and years should it grow.
Maybe this time it will be good.
This time I'll let love's flowers flourish slow
As it should.

What is love but the air we breathe?
What is love but the sun on our backs?
Is it love that drives us humans to be?
Is it love that keeps us on track?

Love is the color of the setting sun;
Blissfully orange, tomorrow's blooming begun.
Love is the taste of a bitter ***;
Down your throat does it's fire run.

Be it love that grieves us so?
Be it love that gives winter's sorrow?
It is love lost, I am told,
That makes the human heart grow cold.

What is love but the darkness of the night?
What is love but heartbreak's plight?
Love is just a waste of time
If I can no longer call you mine.

The last time i was home,
You wore a blanket of white snow.
You killed your leaves
And the willow trees weeped
For a summer heat from not long ago.
But I remember how your grass smells
In the autumn sun
Or after a warm summer rain.
And I remember how the clouds roll
And how the wind keeps me sane.
It was Christmas when i last came home
And the air was crisp and fresh.
Through whispy clouds the sun had shone,
And your chilly air had pierced my flesh.
But i was not cold standing on the frozen lake,
For i remember your humidity on hot beach days
When i would swim with the pike
Or fly with the gulls
And happiness engulfed my soul.
The last time i was home,
You wore a blanket of white snow.
Your winter beauty will remain permanently in my mind,
But I'll always remember you as a whole.
I don't plan on returning, dear Wisco.
Nothing against you;
I love you more than you know.
But now i think it's time for me to go.

It's because I loved you
that I feel like this right now.
Why I feel like gouging my own eyes out;
why I'm shaking anxiously at coffee rush with Kylar.
It's because I realized that I loved you
and you lied to me.
I was nothing if not honest with you about how I felt
and you lied to me.
You deceived me and the told me
I was the one lying.
I settle for the untruth these last 2 and a half months
just so I wouldn't cause you strife.
And now I'm finally angry and feeling
how I am supposed to feel.
You're a piece of ******* garbage.
A lazy dog lying on someone else's bed
mooching off of everyone around you.
I don't see you being an independent adult in the near future.
I hate you.