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LONDIN Dec 2021
He said “If only you knew..”
We should have left it at that
LONDIN Dec 2021
How am I dry
When years of anticipation are melting like a glacier?
All I’ve ever wanted
Is standing at the end of my bed
With his cold hands
pulling apart my thighs
So why am I fighting so hard
To get out of my head?
When he looked into my eyes
I saw guilt staring back at me.
When he kissed my lips,
He hated that they tasted unmistakably mine
And not of his lovers.
Our timings never been “okay”,
I should have taken that as a sign
To keep this a fantasy.
LONDIN Dec 2021
Again, I’ve betrayed myself.
I gave him what he wanted.
I wish everything was all he wanted from me.
It hurts. It hurts. It hurts.
LONDIN Dec 2021
All at once
My ancestors,
My gut,
My dreams,
My intuition,
My health,
And everything in between my ears
Were screaming at me to leave.
I fell ill for the entirety of our relationship,
I should have taken that as a sign sooner.
LONDIN Dec 2021
In public
We don’t talk
But tonight
He only speaks in lust
LONDIN Dec 2021
His touch was cheap.

I think I preferred you being a fantasy.

He reminds me of the whiskey I used to drink.

Surely this is not what I got sober for.
LONDIN Dec 2021
Without alcohol,
It's hard to numb the thought
That I might not ever write as authentically
As I did when I was drunk.
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