I have often accepted the criticisms of others,
A self fulfilling prophecy
That has left me shaped and moulded
Into the grotesque mutation
From the blueprints crafted by society.

I seek validation,
Doors that are unlocked
So I can walk into a persons life
Without having to hide the possessions I have
Under dust covers and dragging them in the dark
When they are fast asleep and can't see.

I want to be able to re-ignite the glowing embers
In my soul
So that the flames burn away the cobwebs
And the neglect of my former self.
I made the  inevitable mistake of using petrol to accelerate the ignition
And now everything is falling apart,
**One little piece at a time.

Closing my eyes,
I'm afraid of heights,
These skyscraper fears
Are crumbling beneath
My feet and I have
Nothing to hold onto.
I will live like tomorrow
Is never going to come,
But I'm not ready to fall
To my death,
My wings have been clipped
I'm weak,
I'm selfish,
I need the safety net
Beneath my shaking feet.

No,
Push me,
Let me fall,
Let the air kiss my cheeks
Like sharp, cold knives
As I plummet into chaos
And pierce the Earth
Like a meteor.

Let me tell you about how I feel,
I promise not to bore you,
If you promise to let me heal.
I've been bullied,
Attacked,
Ridiculed,
Hated,
Pushed to the breaking point,
Because of the words that have been stated.

I've been shunned and ashamed,
Labelled with names,
That do not justify who I am,
I have been ignored and refused,
And verbally abused
By people who I thought would understand.

Am I a part of collateral damage?
Another scar from stereotypical carnage?
The bullets took off,
But yet you all forgot,
About the boy who took every single shot.
I told you I'm fine,
Because after all I'm defined
To act like nothing has happened.

You're probably thinking,
Wow this screams for attention,
But if that thought crossed your mind,
You're in serious need of a certain lesson.

I don't expect you to change your ways,
But to consider the way you behave,
Towards a person who wants to feel alive,
But struggles to breathe because they're hurting inside.

This is the story of a boy who cried help,
Built to be destroyed by a world who made him hate himself.

Shallow breaths tremble from my lips,
Eyes glazed by the cold,
Air from my lungs lingering in the air,
Frozen souls that evaporate like ghosts,
Nothingness
Trees wilting in the whitewash sunlight,
Stripped bare and left to die naked,
Left to shrivel in it's own humiliation.
Nature hides in the dark,
It does not dare tread on the snow,
Beneath it's crisp skin lies the remnants,
The remnants of those left to succumb
To the bitter rage of Winter,
The glacial wrath as it torments my world,
Sending it spiralling into an ice age
That buries itself deep into the marrow
Of my quivering bones.
I am saturated in it's Arctic wake.

A deer in the headlights,
As you come running towards me,
Arms spread wide,
Looking like you're glad to see me,
So I try,
To smile and look so happy,
But I cry,
To see you pretend like you still love me.

I'll testify,
In front of the world and say you're a liar,
I'll watch your world untie,
Into the chains you wore and watch you expire,
And if I have to die,
To see the crumbling of your empire,
I will smile,
Because I know I have a messiah,

And you have nothing left to hold,
I possess all of the gold,
You turn to dust and blow away,
While I cope with another day
**Without you.

There is something chaotic about writer's block,
A catastrophe that every writer faces during their search for creativity,
The mundane flashing of a cursor on a word document,
The point of the pen barely scratching the surface of the paper.

It feels as if we have been kidnapped from our fantasy and plunged into reality,
We feel trapped, locked away in a place far beyond the reach of inspiration,
A bag placed over our heads and slowly suffocating us,
Each breath dissolving,
Each memory crumbling,
Each ounce if strength weakening.

It seems inevitable,
To stare through the barred windows of our empty minds,
Our hands sliding between the gaps and trying to feel the warm sunlight of creativity,
To feel the cool breeze of an idea,
To taste the forbidden fruit of our inner desires.

And when we think we have broken out of the clutches of a blank mind,
We face the inevitable task of jumping over the canyon we have come to know as a risk,
Flight or fall
Destiny or death
Success or sorrow

**All for the sake of articulating a single word on a sheet to begin another journey into the unknown

A good friend told me he didn't know what to write. He wanted to, but he didn't have the motive or inspiration to carry it through.
This one is for you.

When you write, don't act on the impulse purely because you want to,
You have to feel what you write,
Right down to every last gruelling piece of punctuation.
And I don't mean write as soon as you feel a connection,
You have to truly believe in what you write,
Like every single molecule in your body is screaming
At you,
Telling you to be beautiful in the words you choose.
Harness your emotions,
If you feel euphoric and happy,
Capture it,
If you are feeling angry or there is sadness inside of you,
Purge it, let it flow and then read it back and you'll see how much
You have released in a short space of time.
Don't be afraid of what you write,
Be bold,
Be fearless,
Don't be scared of what people might think
If you let them see it,
Don't shy away from any details that you might want to include,
Nobody judges a writer.
Add what you want,
It is your recipe for creativity and you are in control of the final product.

Write what you feel and feel what you write.