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Apr 27 · 65
You n me forevermore
Aubrey Apr 27
I never liked Indiana
I just thought it was somewhere random  
till you kissed me there
I never liked windy cities
but I think maybe when you're with me
I like everywhere
I never liked tea that wasn't sweet
but I think when you kiss me
it makes up for it
and the calluses on your fingertips
I admired them from a distance
now they're on my cheek
A.
Mar 24 · 245
He
Aubrey Mar 24
He
I hate all men
but
        when
                    he
           𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒆  
𝒊 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒊𝒎 𝒇𝒍𝒐𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈
𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒚  
𝒊 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒃𝒐𝒅𝒚  
𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒘𝒆 𝒇𝒂𝒅𝒆  
𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒖𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒕𝒐 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈  
𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒃𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒎 𝒐𝒇 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈.
A.
Mar 20 · 86
Zebra cardigan
Aubrey Mar 20
I saw her again today in her zebra cardigan
Sitting on her porch, eyes focused on a book
Listening to the wind
Feeling the sun
Smile creeping on her lips from time to time
But not enough to reach her eyes
I watched as she drank a sip of tea from her mug
And wiped her lips with the back of her sleeve
She turned the page of the book
And tucked the hair falling on her face
She’s like a wild blooms that they put between the pages
No matter how long I kept her there
I know that she will always be right where I left her
Just like a butterfly trapped in a bottle
Watching her fade and dust inside
She’s like a music box I keep playing every night
Classic like I’ve always known her
A.
Aubrey Mar 15
Please don’t ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere.
Mar 4 · 66
Stories
Aubrey Mar 4
saying goodbye
to someone you love
is like reading the final page
of an amazing book.

as the last chapter ends
you begin to notice
just how beautiful
and perfect
the plot always was.  

you appreciate the joy
and even the pain
as you read and thumb
through every page.

finally understanding
the moral of the story,
you realize you've reached
the end of this journey.

although the last sentence  
is the most difficult to read
another great book awaits
once you turn the final page.

Eventually you may stumble
upon yet another great find.
or maybe you'll return
to the book you left behind.

you may just discover
once all is said and done
that this particular book  
was your favorite story
all along.
A.
Feb 23 · 230
I'll be okay
Aubrey Feb 23
A cool breeze
makes me feel free
A cup of coffee or tea
is soothing to me
A lit candle burning
puts me at ease
A walk around the grocery store
the children laughing makes me smile
A cruel world
they know nothing about
I'm still living in the moments
trying to figure it all out
Some days are harder than most
I find strength within
I know I'll be okay ..
Never forgetting to breathe.
One day at a time.
Putting myself back together
Once again.
Self love is the best love.
Feb 4 · 31
She shines
Aubrey Feb 4
She saw her imaginary friends
She saw the colors again
She saw her life unfolding
And she was in control
No one telling her what to do or where to go
She doesn’t beg or chase
She’s free in this life
She removed her own chains
She is finally herself again
She shines.
A.
Oct 2020 · 403
We’ll be alright
Aubrey Oct 2020
You’ve got my devotion
but man I can hate you sometimes
A.
#hs
Oct 2020 · 471
DEAR OCTOBER,
Aubrey Oct 2020
Please, be gentle.

My leaves have shriveled and fallen
time and time again now.
So you understand.

Be gentle, please.
A.
Sep 2020 · 52
Sweet little somethings
Aubrey Sep 2020
Him:

You ma’am, have quite the amazing way with your words.


Me:

Thank you, sir. Though, with all due respect, they are, yours.
A.
Sep 2020 · 383
Needles
Aubrey Sep 2020
They stuck her with needles,
then asked why she screamed
A.
Aug 2020 · 58
Turning page
Aubrey Aug 2020
I've waited a hundred years
But I'd wait a million more
for you
Nothing prepared me for
What the privilege of being yours would do

If I had only felt the warmth
within your touch
If I had only seen how you smile
when you blush
Or how you curl your lip
when you concentrate enough
Well I would have known
What I was living for
all along
What I've been living for

Your love is my turning page
Where only the sweetest words remain
Every kiss is a cursive line
Every touch is a redefining phrase

I surrender who I've been
for who you are
For nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart
If I had only felt how it feels to be yours

Well I would have known
What I've been living for all along
What I've been living for

Though we're tethered to the story we must tell
When I saw you,
well I knew we'd tell it well
With a whisper we will tame the vicious seas
Like a feather bringing kingdoms to their knees
(favorite love song)
Mar 2020 · 112
For the first time
Aubrey Mar 2020
And this is what it took.
For us all to stop.
To empty the streets.
To let the sky breath.
To clear the air of routine vacations and business trips that really could have been simple meetings.
To listen to how the world sounds without music and festivals and museums and freelancers.
To quietly miss the hauling of drunk people on your street at 3 AM on Sunday mornings.
To notice the vulnerable amongst us.
To want to protect them.
To be vulnerable ourselves.
To miss touching.
To afternoon ***.
To check in with your old friends.
And your new friends and your work friends and the overly-friendly guy at your local gym and your therapist and her wife and your old boss who’s going through chemo and your dad because you love him and you actually love them and maybe you’ve only just really realize that at the end of the world,
or at least of polite supermarkets, sports fans, and Times Square.
To have time for how they are really feeling.
To have more time for their stories, fears, toilet paper count, Netflix recommendations, thanks-for-calling-and-it’s-been-so-nice, I’ve-missed- you’s.
To crave social distancing in a blanket.
To let it feel good inside and unbearable.
To feel genuine love for your comfy couch.
To be reminded of the obscene luxury of stock shelves.
To you want promotions for the patient saints working the doomsday cash registers of terror towns in freighted cities.
To cook a bit extra for a night shift worker or your neighbors with the five kids.
To have our husbands and wives and partners at home.
To remember that even though money is tight already this month and you started biting your nails again, that it’s still a return.
To sit in shock and awe at the energy your children possess.
To try and remember it while they’re running laps around the room and you just spent three hours downloading Frozen 2.
To invent.
To play.
To cook with what we have.
To welcome boredom into our homes.
To take your midyear holiday visiting the different rooms in your house instead of Bali.
To decorate the attic like a tropical resort of the bar in the ski lodge or Venice in the spring and stay there instead.
To wonder what you could make out of two whole weeks.
To fall in love with Italy without ever having been.
To go on dates.
To fall in love with someone new.
To break someone’s heart.
To weep while people become neighborhood choirs from their balconies and front porches.
To weep again while others call nursing homes to see if anyone needs a visitor before there can be none.
To weep still while we wonder why we’ve never done all this before.
To become human... maybe even for the first time.
A.
Epidemic
Feb 2020 · 112
The lesson I learned
Aubrey Feb 2020
If I had to say I learned one thing so far
I would say that the hardest pill that I’ve had to swallow
was learning that no matter how good you could be to somebody,
no matter how much you love them,
they can and will turn their back on you
and there’s absolutely nothing you can do but
**** it up and
Keep
Moving
Forward.
A.
**** it up.
Feb 2020 · 73
A little lost
Aubrey Feb 2020
I keep getting swept up
in someone else's fantasy
Marriage, talents, interests
that don't quite interest me
Like a butterfly, beautiful on its own
but cannot redesign its mimicry
These new personas bombard
and confuse, they simply need to leave
I'm a puzzle with missing pieces
a map without a key
A mimicry octopus
fleeing from the scene
I need distance from it all
so I can go back to being me
A.
Aubrey Jan 2020
I’m going to end up with someone who’s obsessed with me.
Someone who showers me with love even when they’re tired.
Someone who makes me smile, makes me laugh and makes me fall deeper in love with them everyday. Someone who loves my heart, my being.
That person will be my rib, my inner calm and peace.
A.
Aubrey Jan 2020
Are You Asking For Too Much Or Are You Just Asking The Wrong Person?
There’s a difference between someone who likes you and someone who appreciates you.
There’s a difference between someone who thinks you’re convenient and someone who thinks you’re irreplaceable.
There’s a difference between someone who thinks you’re hot and someone who thinks you’re beautiful.
There’s a difference between someone who likes you for your body and someone who likes you for your soul.
There’s a difference between someone who wants to spend quality time with you and someone who’s just looking for someone to entertain them.
There’s a difference between someone who wants to keep you in their life forever and someone who wants you for a little while.
There’s a difference between someone who loves the idea of you and someone who’s in love with you.
There’s a difference between someone who keeps showing what you mean to them effortlessly and someone who shows you only when you ask them to.
There’s a difference between someone you can count on and someone who finds excuses for not being there.
There’s a difference between someone who sees a home in you and someone who only sees a vacation.
They both exist. They both fulfill a certain need, but you have to ask yourself first what you’re truly looking for and where this person is or where this person can meet you.
You have to ask yourself if you’re asking for too much or you’re just asking the wrong person.
And most importantly, you have to be honest with yourself if you’re with someone who’s not on the same page. If you’re with someone who doesn’t love you the way you want to be loved. And if you know the answer and you’re afraid to make a decision, you just have to do it because nothing is worse than living a lie. Nothing is worse than trying to find love and happiness in the middle of heartbreak and chaos.
You can never bloom in the wrong environment. You can never shine with someone who doesn’t see your light.
Because it can only be one of two things; there’s no in-between. It’s either the real deal or another fraud.
Jan 2020 · 136
It’s time
Aubrey Jan 2020
I regretted nothing
as I walked
out of your forest
where I dragged
my heart
so violently
Dec 2019 · 82
If I let you go
Aubrey Dec 2019
Know that I didn’t leave because I wanted to. I let go, because you left me no other choice.
I’m never the type to give up easily & leave you, I’m the type to give you chance after chance after chance, even if you do me wrong.
I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you however toxic you may be. Even if it’s hurting me, breaking me, slowly killing me and my wants.
I’m not the person who decides to give up on people or let go. But if I ever decide to, please understand it took all of the air in me, all of the energy in me, all of the strength and courage in me to do so.
I don’t give up easily, I don’t let go easily, but if you ever give me a million small reasons to walk away, I’ll walk away after you choose to not give me the one smallest reason to stay. After that, I’ll walk away after my container full of chances run out, knowing I gave you my all, the best parts of me, i gave my fullest.
Not giving me a good reason to stay, is a good enough reason for me to leave.
A.
Aug 2019 · 104
the way you love.
Aubrey Aug 2019
you fell in love with the way i made you feel comfortable & the way i laughed with you. you fell in love with how light we felt while holding hands & eating eggs in bed on Sunday mornings. you fell in love with the world i showed you.

but you did not fall in love with me.



A.
Aug 2019 · 90
hot temper girl
Aubrey Aug 2019
i want to get you in my spaces
i want to take you different places
i know the touring is romantic
i know you see me as a frantic girl
but i can give you what you want
i know you like the way i hang my temper
and i gave you the world
i can be your hot temper girl
A.
Aubrey Jul 2019
young girls and women stay in toxic, unhealthy relationships because they think it’s love.
we call getting scolded in public for walking too fast love.
when we hear “you’re not going out in that, you want attention” we think, “wow, he thinks i’m so beautiful, i’m so in love, he wants me all for himself.”
no. he’s not being protective and he’s not in love or he would proudly hold your hand with a smile on his face, but more importantly a smile on your face down that sidewalk and not worry about whether your shirt came up a little too much past your belly button or if your shorts were too short, who cares? you thought. but you change because you think he loves you.
but you shouldn’t be tugging at your shirt the next time you wear it out again, you shouldn’t be throwing those shorts away because of a man who doesn’t know what love is.
laughter and bliss is the medicine. you both would agree.
so forced happiness and smiles is what the world sees. you know that.
fake social media posts about how their man treats them so good and it doesn’t get better than him and how they are so happy, the happiest they’ve ever been. so so happy.
the people closest to you see otherwise.
i know those songs will remind you of him, i know how long it took you to put together a playlist, knowing he wouldn’t appreciate it as much as you would have liked him to. i know that scent you smelled reminded you of him and that certain time of the year is painful because that’s where it all started.
you and him.
the chaos.
hurt people hurt people.
you both poke and say the things knowing it’s gonna hurt there.
you use words like weapons until one day, the hurtful stinging words aren’t enough.
your arms are pulling back, ready to punch, hit, whatever is spitting out those disgusting words.
then you both realize..
the person who you thought was your protecter, your friend, a role model, is none of those things.
they want to see you cry because then they know, they are in control.
that can shape you and form you into whatever they want.
you let them because you think it’s love.
to the girl wondering why she isn’t enough, to the girl crying off her leftover mascara from last nights arguments.
to the girl who thinks she will never find better because she’s convinced she is so in love with a boy who will replace her the next time she walks out because her instincts tell her to.
he doesn’t love you.
he will say he’s only human and everybody make mistakes.
he’s not love.
your gut is trying to tell you that you are not happy.
please listen.
those moments of anger are going to keep happening.
he will do more and more to hurt you and he knows he can because you let it happen.
you let it happen.
nobody is left to feel bad for you anymore.
because in the end, you let it happen.
this is a sign you need to walk away, i know there were some happy moments, full of laughter but remember how he never wiped your tears away or how he kept doing the one thing you said not to do. how he yelled so loud knowing you hate loud noises because they remind you of the painful times. how he made you do the things you didn’t want to do. how you thought you were saving a falling angel but you didn’t see how the demons were smiling at your cracking heart when you leaned in for a make up hug...
how he left your soul cold.
remember the nights when you couldn’t fall asleep because you knew he was getting over you and it killed a little piece of your heart.
you kept killing your heart and now you’re scared of letting your fragile walls down for someone else but you don’t wanna know someone else.
to the girl with tears in her eyes looking at a phone screen reading this
take a deep breath.
leave.
don’t look back.
stick to loving yourself until someone that knows how to love, that is capable of true love comes to save you from your suffering.
you will find love,
heal yourself.
find yourself.
to me:
read this again please,
and remember the hurt.
A.
leave and stick to it.
Jun 2019 · 293
real love
Aubrey Jun 2019
real love
dreams together
hopes together
works together
each of their days
loving each other  
trusting each other
respecting each other
that is all that matters
A.
May 2019 · 106
repetitive dream
Aubrey May 2019
i dream of meeting myself
one who's just like me
so,
you're older indeed
but we will succeed.
this i know for sure.
how
poetry lives through us
moments are held beneath ones touch
and relived through the words we speak,
always.
our love will be unique,
nevertheless.
A.
May 2019 · 227
one wish
Aubrey May 2019
11:11
my one wish is
to find someone
who sees the world
as beautiful as i do
with their lips
preaching poetic beauty
as i have once did
to all the boys
i have loved before
you never deserved me.
A.
Aubrey Apr 2019
when a poet falls in love with you,
you can never die.
they will notice you,
every inch.
the way you rub your palms,
play with your fingernails and look down.
and the way you smirk
as you pull away from a kiss.

they will notice how you can't sleep
without your body touching someone else's.
how you crease your favorite book pages,
and how you close your eyes when you dance,
blasting your favorite songs through your earbuds.
they will find all of the words
that they see you as,
and they see you.
they see you as you.
and with all of those words,
they turn every single on them into something beautiful.
people say you die twice.
once when you stop breathing
and when someone says your name
for the last time.
if you fall in love with a poet
they will never stop
mentioning your name,
you will be alive
for eternity.
A.
Apr 2019 · 75
flux
Aubrey Apr 2019
flux
life being in a perpetual state of change.

i realize we both cared for each other.
the idea of reengaging appeals
however,
the constant changes in my life
and your life,
would not make such union possible.
reminisce
indulge in enjoyable recollection of past events.
reminiscing on past lovers,
how life would be if those relationships worked out,
favorably.
past
gone by in time and no longer existing.
past had deadening effects on relationships.
but past wasn't past.
so,
fantasizing about the alternate reality,
where things turned out differently.
perhaps inevitable.
such imaginations are something we all go through.
fool
a person who acts unwisely or imprudently; a silly person.
me.
A.
I wrote this over a few days, I hold this close to my heart.
Apr 2019 · 177
Chaos.
Aubrey Apr 2019
Chaos.
Being told to tame this beautiful chaos of mine
is like being told not to feel
while walking through fire.
They tell me not to feel.
It's wrong.
So lately i've been uninspired.
I cannot think long enough to write down my thoughts.
Don't think.
It complicates things.
Just feel, and
if it feels like home
then follow its path.
And that's the thing.
She was always willing to burn for everything she has ever loved.
Chaos.
It's what we know as love.
A.

— The End —